The Woman with the Blue Star, Pam Jenoff [highly recommended books txt] 📗

tug of longing. I wondered when he had last rested in a comfortable bed or had a full night’s sleep at all.

I had not slept either, other than the short while when I’d hidden with Sadie beneath the stairwell. I was suddenly exhausted from the long night of hiding Sadie and walking the city with her. I dropped down softly beside Krys, trying not to wake him. As I watched him, a mix of affection and desire arose in me. I wished more than ever that things between us might be as they had been before the war, and that it wasn’t all so complicated now. He shivered in his sleep. Even though it was spring, a chill from the night air lingered in the unheated room. Krys had no blanket, but a coat was flung on the floor not far from the mattress, so I retrieved it and covered us both. Then I leaned my head softly against his shoulder.

He seemed to sense my presence and his eyes flickered open. “Ella, you’re here. I’m so glad.” He put his arm around me and I moved closer, feeling like everything that had happened since he left for the war had been a bad dream.

“I let myself in,” I said. “You should lock the door.”

“I left it open for you. Anyway, if they want to come for me, a lock isn’t going to stop them.”

He was talking about the Germans, I realized, shuddering inwardly. Krys’ work for the Home Army made him a wanted man. Suddenly it seemed as though they might burst through the door at any second. Even this simple moment together was fragile, fraught with danger.

He reached around the far side of the mattress, then pulled out a small wrapped parcel and handed it to me. “Happy birthday,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said, touched. I had not expected Krys to remember my birthday; I had nearly forgotten myself. Inside the parcel was a piece of Polish honey cake, dusted with powdered sugar.

“It isn’t much, but I didn’t know until last night that I would be seeing you. It’s the best I could do on short notice.”

“It’s perfect.” We did not have forks, so I broke the piece of cake in two and passed him half. Eating the sweet dessert with our hands at such an early hour of the morning felt strange, yet somehow right. “A new tradition,” I added. Then I felt my cheeks go warm. I had not meant to suggest that we might carry on together.

“A new tradition,” he repeated, his gaze holding mine. He reached out to wipe a smudge of powdered sugar from my lip.

“You live here?” I asked.

“Not exactly. This is a safe house and a good place to rest when I’m working.”

“What about your parents?” I asked, puzzled. “They’re nearby.”

He nodded. “I still leave my things with them and go there to wash. But I stay away as much as I can to protect them. I can’t put them in danger any more than I can you.”

I saw then that his keeping his distance from me these past few months was not an excuse. He really had been trying to shield me from the dangers of his work. I drew closer to him. “Well, I’m not staying away anymore. I don’t want to.”

“Good.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I was trying to keep you safe by staying away. But I see now that was a mistake. None of us are safe, Ella. The best way to protect you is by keeping you close.”

He turned to me and his lips met mine with more intensity than they ever had before. Something was different now, the layers of distance between us stripped away. We fell into each other’s arms. I kissed his lips, let his hands travel to the places they had only gone the night before he left for the war. “I’ve missed you so,” he said as he rose above me, and I could tell by his pent-up desire that there had been no one else for him either in the time that we had been apart. I let myself be swept away, blocking out the voices that said this was wrong because he had left me and we were no longer really together. We had found each other once more. It was a moment of rare joy in a sea of danger and darkness and I took it greedily.

After, we lay in one another’s arms, letting our breath subside and not speaking. I rested my head on his chest.

“You returned Sadie underground safely?” he asked finally.

“Yes,” I said, grateful to talk about something other than us and what had just happened. I remembered the look on her face as she disappeared below the earth. “She seemed so sad to go back. But grateful for the food,” I added quickly. “How did you even get it?”

He smiled and brushed away a lock of my hair that had fallen into my eyes. “I have my ways.” Then his expression turned serious. “Someone owed me a favor.” He pressed his lips together and I knew he would say no more about it.

“Well, I’m beyond grateful. If there is ever anything to do to repay you...”

“There is,” he said quickly, surprising me. He paused for several seconds, as if debating, and I could not imagine what he would ask. Was he planning to ask me to help with his work once more? “There are supplies, guns and weapons, that are critical to our work. I need to find a place to hide them for a bit.”

“But where? Surely you don’t mean for me to store them in my house with Ana Lucia constantly bringing her German friends around.”

“No, of course not. But you have the perfect place: the sewer.”

I sat up, covering myself. “You can’t be serious.” But his solemn eyes told me otherwise. “No, I can’t do that.”

“Just ask Sadie. For all that you have done for her, I’m sure she would