The Turmoil, Booth Tarkington [best english novels for beginners .txt] 📗

As I said a minute ago, mentally I couldn’t ever called you exactly strong. You been a little weak both ways, most of your life. Not but what I think you got a mentality, if you’d learn to use it. You got willpower, I’ll say that for you. I never knew boy or man that could be stubborner⁠—never one in my life! Now, then, you’ve showed you could learn to run that machine best of any man in the shop, in no time at all. That looks to me like you could learn to do other things. I don’t deny but what it’s an encouragin’ sign. I don’t deny that, at all. Well, that helps me to think the case ain’t so hopeless as it looks. You’re all I got to meet this blow with, but maybe you ain’t as poor material as I thought. Your tellin’ me about comin’ within seven strips of the shop’s record today looks to me like encouragin’ information brought in at just about the right time. Now, then, I’m goin’ to give you a raise. I wanted to send you straight on up through the shops⁠—a year or two, maybe⁠—but I can’t do it. I lost Jim, and now I’ve lost Roscoe. He’s quit. He’s laid down on me. If he ever comes back at all, he’ll be a long time pickin’ up the strings, and, anyway, he ain’t the man I thought he was. I can’t count on him. I got to have somebody I know I can count on. And I’m down to this: you’re my last chance. Bibbs, I got to learn you to use what brains you got and see if we can’t develop ’em a little. Who knows? And I’m goin’ to put my time in on it. I’m goin’ to take you right downtown with me, and I won’t be hard on you if you’re a little slow at first. And I’m goin’ to do the big thing for you. I’m goin’ to make you feel you got to do the big thing for me, in return. I’ve vindicated my policy with you about the shop, and now I’m goin’ to turn right around and swing you ’way over ahead of where the other boys started, and I’m goin’ to make an appeal to your ambition that’ll make you dizzy!” He tapped his son on the knee again. “Bibbs, I’m goin’ to start you off this way: I’m goin’ to make you a director in the Pump Works Company; I’m goin’ to make you vice-president of the Realty Company and a vice-president of the Trust Company!”

Bibbs jumped to his feet, blanched. “Oh no!” he cried.

Sheridan took his dismay to be the excitement of sudden joy. “Yes, sir! And there’s some pretty fat little salaries goes with those vice-presidencies, and a pinch o’ stock in the Pump Company with the directorship. You thought I was pretty mean about the shop⁠—oh, I know you did!⁠—but you see the old man can play it both ways. And so right now, the minute you’ve begun to make good the way I wanted you to, I deal from the new deck. And I’ll keep on handin’ it out bigger and bigger every time you show me you’re big enough to play the hand I deal you. I’m startin’ you with a pretty big one, my boy!”

“But I don’t⁠—I don’t⁠—I don’t want it!” Bibbs stammered.

“What’d you say?” Sheridan thought he had not heard aright.

“I don’t want it, father. I thank you⁠—I do thank you⁠—”

Sheridan looked perplexed. “What’s the matter with you? Didn’t you understand what I was tellin’ you?”

“Yes.”

“You sure? I reckon you didn’t. I offered⁠—”

“I know, I know! But I can’t take it.”

“What’s the matter with you?” Sheridan was half amazed, half suspicious. “Your head feel funny?”

“I’ve never been quite so sane in my life,” said Bibbs, “as I have lately. And I’ve got just what I want. I’m living exactly the right life. I’m earning my daily bread, and I’m happy in doing it. My wages are enough. I don’t want any more money, and I don’t deserve any⁠—”

“Damnation!” Sheridan sprang up. “You’ve turned Socialist! You been listening to those fellows down there, and you⁠—”

“No, sir. I think there’s a great deal in what they say, but that isn’t it.”

Sheridan tried to restrain his growing fury, and succeeded partially. “Then what is it? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” his son returned, nervously. “Nothing⁠—except that I’m content. I don’t want to change anything.”

“Why not?”

Bibbs had the incredible folly to try to explain. “I’ll tell you, father, if I can. I know it may be hard to understand⁠—”

“Yes, I think it may be,” said Sheridan, grimly. “What you say usually is a little that way. Go on!”

Perturbed and distressed, Bibbs rose instinctively; he felt himself at every possible disadvantage. He was a sleeper clinging to a dream⁠—a rough hand stretched to shake him and waken him. He went to a table and made vague drawings upon it with a finger, and as he spoke he kept his eyes lowered. “You weren’t altogether right about the shop⁠—that is, in one way you weren’t, father.” He glanced up apprehensively. Sheridan stood facing him, expressionless, and made no attempt to interrupt. “That’s difficult to explain,” Bibbs continued, lowering his eyes again, to follow the tracings of his finger. “I⁠—I believe the shop might have done for me this time if I hadn’t⁠—if something hadn’t helped me to⁠—oh, not only to bear it, but to be happy in it. Well, I am happy in it. I want to go on just as I am. And of all things on earth that I don’t want, I don’t want to live a business life⁠—I don’t want to be drawn into it. I don’t think it is living⁠—and now I am living. I have the healthful toil⁠—and I can think. In business as important as yours I couldn’t think anything but business. I don’t⁠—I don’t think making money is worth while.”

“Go on,” said