Leaving Normal, Stef Holm [ebook reader screen .TXT] 📗

had a hard time saying she was going into this for sexual pleasure and that was all. How dumb did she think she was?

Actually, she didn't think herself dumb at all. She considered herself very reasonable and adult, which was why approaching this thing on an affair-only basis sounded so sensible. She liked him, he liked her. There was no reason they couldn't like each other naked. In bed.

"I don't think any woman is just ready for sex. We all think we are," Sarah said, holding up the bra to herself, then checking the price tag. "We want to get paid like men, we want to be accepted like men and we think we want to have causal sex like men. But it's crap. We want love and romance. Not just sex. So, in my opinion you're setting yourself up to either A—fall in love with him, or B—get hurt. Or maybe you'll fool us all and choose C—which is multiple orgasms and still stay friends with him. Although I think the likelihood of that is remote. And I'd hate for 'B' to happen after the damage that Michael did. So I'd suggest 'A'—falling in love with the fireman."

"That's absurd."

"Is it?" Sarah put the bra back. "Then why do you get hearts in your eyes when you talk about him?"

"I do not."

"I think you should buy something that will just completely blow him away. He won't know what hit him. Remember, you're representing the over-forty crowd and you've got the body to pull it off." Sarah moved along to the teddies.

"I didn't come in here to buy sexy. I came in here to buy something I think is tastefully sensual."

This time Sarah frowned. "If you want to seduce him with tastefully sensual, I have a pair of bunny slippers and a short nightie."

If the suggestion hadn't provided such a visual, Natalie would have kept her thoughts to herself. Instead she couldn't help laughing. Then she gave her sister a hug. "You're my best friend, Sarah."

Sarah hugged her back. "Of course I am. Which is why I won't steer you wrong. Come on, let's see what this place has."

Sarah and Natalie lifted up thongs and compared the cuts.

"I couldn't wear something like this before I had kids," Sarah said on a sigh while looking at the two-inch triangle of sheer fabric and thin elastic strings. "You'd have to be a Barbie in order to fit into it."

Natalie examined the pair she held. "This one's for Skipper."

"What size is that?"

"Medium."

"Are you sure it's not extra small?"

"Positive."

Sarah's eyebrows rose. "I guess we're at the wrong pantie display. Even I'm intimidated."

"That says a lot!" Natalie put the underwear down and they made their way to the back of the store.

She couldn't believe she was in here, looking for something sexy to buy. An involuntary shudder washed through her when she thought back to yesterday. And worse yet, couldn't believe that she'd actually said what she'd said to Tony about having an…affair.

Had she been crazy to say that?

She'd been conscious of him the entire day at the museum. Where he stood, how close he was to her. How he smelled, what he said, how he said it. The way his eyes focused on a painting, then on her as if she were the only thing in the room that mattered.

He took her breath away, made her heart beat faster. It was crazy.

Whenever she was around him, she lost her common sense, and in its place, every sense she possessed was heightened. She knew when he was behind her, even if it was a foot away. She could feel him. There had been many times she'd wanted to turn around, take him in her arms and just hold him, have him hold her. Stroke her hair from her forehead the way he had the morning she'd woken up with him.

She couldn't believe she'd spent the night on his sofa. She'd been so tired she'd just drifted off. Every muscle in her body had relaxed from the foot rub he'd given her, then when he'd put his mouth on hers…

Bliss.

That's the only way she could describe it.

She'd never been kissed the way Tony Cruz kissed her.

Natalie struggled to maintain a level head, a reasonable perspective. But she couldn't. Whenever he was near her, whenever she even thought about him, reason fled.

It was stupid to suggest just sex. What had she been thinking?

She'd been thinking about sex.

What was wrong with a woman her age having sex just because she wanted to? It wasn't as if she'd be irresponsible.

Her eyes were wide open, unlike before with Michael when she so desperately wanted a relationship after her divorce. She could disconnect from anything emotional with Tony—because she wouldn't allow herself to be emotional.

No strings attached.

When she'd said that, she'd seen a shadow of something come over his face. What had it been…? Disappointment perhaps? No…a straggle between two issues. That was it. His want to have sex and something else that ran deeper. His want of…her.

She knew it. He'd all but said it. And that want wasn't just for intimacy. It was a want of the emotional. Well, she couldn't do it. She knew too well that he deserved someone younger, someone who wanted the things he wanted. He might think that by looking the other way things would be all right. But they wouldn't.

She was still who she was…he was still who he was.

At least she'd put the baby issue out on the table and he couldn't say she hadn't been up front about it.

Even for all her honesty, she saw that look in his eyes. He desired her. She knew that.

It made her feel good to know that at her age she was desirable to a man nine years younger. Which is why she didn't want to disappoint him. So she was determined to buy something sensual, something that would make his mouth drop open.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd made a purchase in this store.

"What about