shave your crown for this,
Or all my fence shall fail.
Cardinal
Aside to Gloucester. Medice, teipsum—
Protector, see to’t well, protect yourself.
King
The winds grow high; so do your stomachs, lords.
How irksome is this music to my heart!
When such strings jar, what hope of harmony?
I pray, my lords, let me compound this strife.
Enter a
Townsman of Saint Alban’s, crying “A miracle!”
Gloucester
What means this noise?
Fellow, what miracle dost thou proclaim?
Townsman
A miracle! a miracle!
Suffolk
Come to the king and tell him what miracle.
Townsman
Forsooth, a blind man at Saint Alban’s shrine,
Within this half-hour, hath received his sight;
A man that ne’er saw in his life before.
King
Now, God be praised, that to believing souls
Gives light in darkness, comfort in despair!
Enter the
Mayor of Saint Alban’s and his brethren, bearing
Simpcox, between two in a chair,
Simpcox’s Wife following.
Cardinal
Here comes the townsmen on procession,
To present your highness with the man.
King
Great is his comfort in this earthly vale,
Although by his sight his sin be multiplied.
Gloucester
Stand by, my masters: bring him near the king;
His highness’ pleasure is to talk with him.
King
Good fellow, tell us here the circumstance,
That we for thee may glorify the Lord.
What, hast thou been long blind and now restored?
Simpcox
Born blind, an’t please your grace.
Wife
Ay, indeed, was he.
Suffolk
What woman is this?
Wife
His wife, an’t like your worship.
Gloucester
Hadst thou been his mother, thou couldst have better told.
King
Where wert thou born?
Simpcox
At Berwick in the north, an’t like your grace.
King
Poor soul, God’s goodness hath been great to thee:
Let never day nor night unhallow’d pass,
But still remember what the Lord hath done.
Queen
Tell me, good fellow, camest thou here by chance,
Or of devotion, to this holy shrine?
Simpcox
God knows, of pure devotion; being call’d
A hundred times and oftener, in my sleep,
By good Saint Alban; who said, “Simpcox, come,
Come, offer at my shrine, and I will help thee.”
Wife
Most true, forsooth; and many time and oft
Myself have heard a voice to call him so.
Cardinal
What, art thou lame?
Simpcox
Ay, God Almighty help me!
Suffolk
How camest thou so?
Simpcox
A fall off of a tree.
Wife
A plum-tree, master.
Gloucester
How long hast thou been blind?
Simpcox
O, born so, master.
Gloucester
What, and wouldst climb a tree?
Simpcox
But that in all my life, when I was a youth.
Wife
Too true; and bought his climbing very dear.
Gloucester
Mass, thou lovedst plums well, that wouldst venture so.
Simpcox
Alas, good master, my wife desired some damsons,
And made me climb, with danger of my life.
Gloucester
A subtle knave! but yet it shall not serve.
Let me see thine eyes: wink now: now open them:
In my opinion yet thou seest not well.
Simpcox
Yes, master, clear as day, I thank God and Saint Alban.
Gloucester
Say’st thou me so? What colour is this cloak of?
Simpcox
Red, master; red as blood.
Gloucester
Why, that’s well said. What colour is my gown of?
Simpcox
Black, forsooth: coal-black as jet.
King
Why, then, thou know’st what colour jet is of?
Suffolk
And yet, I think, jet did he never see.
Gloucester
But cloaks and gowns, before this day, a many.
Wife
Never, before this day, in all his life.
Gloucester
Tell me, sirrah, what’s my name?
Simpcox
Alas, master, I know not.
Gloucester
What’s his name?
Simpcox
I know not.
Gloucester
Nor his?
Simpcox
No, indeed, master.
Gloucester
What’s thine own name?
Simpcox
Saunder Simpcox, an if it please you, master.
Gloucester
Then, Saunder, sit there, the lyingest knave in Christendom. If thou hadst been born blind, thou mightst as well have known all our names as thus to name the several colours we do wear. Sight may distinguish of colours, but suddenly to nominate them all, it is impossible. My lords, Saint Alban here hath done a miracle; and would ye not think his cunning to be great, that could restore this cripple to his legs again?
Simpcox
O master, that you could!
Gloucester
My masters of Saint Alban’s, have you not beadles in your town, and things called whips?
Mayor
Yes, my lord, if it please your grace.
Gloucester
Then send for one presently.
Mayor
Sirrah, go fetch the beadle hither straight.
Exit an Attendant.
Gloucester
Now fetch me a stool hither by and by. Now, sirrah, if you mean to save yourself from whipping, leap me over this stool and run away.
Simpcox
Alas, master, I am not able to stand alone:
You go about to torture me in vain. Enter a Beadle with whips.
Gloucester
Well, sir, we must have you find your legs. Sirrah beadle, whip him till he leap over that same stool.
Beadle
I will, my lord. Come on, sirrah; off with your doublet quickly.
Simpcox
Alas, master, what shall I do? I am not able to stand.
After the Beadle hath hit him once, he leaps over the stool and runs away; and they follow and cry, “A miracle!”
King
O God, seest Thou this, and bearest so long?
Queen
It made me laugh to see the villain run.
Gloucester
Follow the knave; and take this drab away.
Wife
Alas, sir, we did it for pure need.
Gloucester
Let them be whipped through every market-town, till they come to Berwick, from whence they came.
Exeunt Wife, Beadle, Mayor, etc.
Cardinal
Duke Humphrey has done a miracle to-day.
Suffolk
True; made the lame to leap and fly away.
Gloucester
But you have done more miracles than I;
You made in a day, my lord, whole towns to fly.
Enter
Buckingham.
King
What tidings with our cousin Buckingham?
Buckingham
Such as my heart doth tremble to unfold.
A sort of naughty persons, lewdly bent,
Under the countenance and confederacy
Of Lady Eleanor, the protector’s wife,
The ringleader and head of all this rout,
Have practised dangerously against your state,
Dealing with witches and with conjurers:
Whom we have apprehended in the fact;
Raising up wicked spirits from under ground,
Demanding of King Henry’s life and death,
And other of your highness’ privy-council;
As more at large your grace shall understand.
Cardinal
Aside to Gloucester. And so, my lord protector, by this means
Your lady is forthcoming yet
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