The Dowager Countess (The Saga of Wolfbridge Manor Book 2), Sahara Kelly [best thriller novels to read txt] 📗

“Ah.” He crossed his legs at the ankle. “Let me guess. You fell hopelessly in love, as only a young girl can. And he wooed you, then spurned you for another?”

“Yes and no,” she answered, folding her hands together in her lap hard enough to turn the knuckles white. “I did fall in love with him. Helplessly and hopelessly. I believe he felt the same. But he was a second son, and…well, as you know, ten years ago there was a great demand for soldiers.”

“He enlisted?”

“His father bought him a commission, which delighted him to no end since he had always cherished the idea of fighting for his country. He became a lieutenant in the cavalry.”

“I see.”

“So yes, Michael spurned me in a way…but to become a soldier. He left for the Continent, and two weeks later I realised I was carrying our child.”

Silence fell after Gwyneth’s confession. She closed her eyes, hands still tightly gripped, recalling with clarity the moment she knew, without a doubt, that his child slept within her.

“That must have come as a shock,” said Royce with surprising gentleness.

“It did. I wrote him immediately, and he answered with a brief note—he was readying for battle, but we’d settle it all when he returned. There were no sweet words, or expressions of affection. He had found the love of his life, I think. He was where he wanted to be, and home—and me—neither played a part in any of it. I thought he was the love of my life…obviously the reverse wasn’t true.”

“I’m sorry.”

She glanced at him, expecting to see a sarcastic curve to his lips, but he was looking at her with tenderness. It was hard to decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Since the worst of it was now out there, she lifted her chin and continued.

“I had planned to tell Mama and Papa as soon as Michael wrote again.”

“What happened?”

She paused for a moment, then looked him straight in the eye. “The Battle of Sahagún.”

“Bloody hell,” Royce closed his eyes and winced. “That was…a victory that came at too great a cost.”

Thinking of the slaughter that reportedly occurred as the 15th Light Dragoons met two regiments of French cavalry, Gwyneth nodded. “And the French fared even worse.”

“War is a useless and terrible thing that is seldom fought by those who started it,” muttered Royce.

“You were a soldier, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” His tone was hard and that one word said it all. He turned to her. “What happened when you learned of your Michael’s fate?”

“The news came by letter to his family,” she said. “So we all found out a couple of weeks after the event. I’d wondered why I’d not heard from him, but communications weren’t easy between England and Spain at the best of times.” She swallowed. “I was…devastated, of course, but I had to hold it all back, other than the expected sorrow. I went for a long walk. It was cold, very cold, that vicious December bitterness, with some snow and slush on the ground.” She gave a short humourless laugh. “I can remember every detail with such clarity, even after all these years.”

“It happens,” said Royce calmly. “The worst of times leave the longest of memories.”

“You’re very profound tonight,” she observed.

“Life will do that to you.”

“Well mine certainly did. I fell, Royce. Literally. I lost my footing and slid down an icy patch into a deep, hard ditch. It hurt. When I managed to get myself out…” she hesitated, “I was bleeding. Badly. And there was pain. A lot of pain…” she finally unclenched her hands. “I lost the child. My parents thought I’d damaged something internally, and were very worried, but after a little while, the bleeding stopped. I healed, and nothing more was said about it. I don’t think anyone knew or even guessed. I have lived with that knowledge, that I’d lost two of the most valuable things in my life—Michael and our babe—ever since. I have also had to live with the knowledge that Michael chose war over me.”

“And this was the secret you believe your blackmailer has discovered?”

She gazed at him. “I have no other secrets, Royce. None. Since nobody knew of my condition, how could they speak of it?”

“You say you told nobody, and I believe you. But…” he paused a moment in thought. “You must have had a maid?”

“Well yes…”

“And she would have cared for you during the time after you lost the child?

“Yes,” frowned Gwyneth. “But she didn’t know…”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “My sweet, you were an innocent young girl. Most maids are much better informed about the functioning of a woman’s body. She knew. Whether you told her or not, she knew.”

Gwyneth blinked. “I must admit I never thought of that,” she answered. “But…it’s possible.”

“And so you wed the Earl?”

“My parents thought it a good marriage. They were a bit worried about me, since I had become somewhat quiet and I’m sure I wasn’t the best company. They felt an older man would perhaps give me what I needed.”

“Did he?”

“Yes and no.” She looked at him. “He gave me a home, and security. And I think in his own way he cared for me. He certainly didn’t mind exercising his husbandly rights.”

“But he must have known you weren’t a virgin,” he gave her a curious look.

“He never mentioned it.” She sighed. “Our wedding night was a fumbled and mostly drunken affair. The Earl liked fine brandy and his wedding seemed an excellent opportunity for him to indulge. I don’t even know if he remembered doing his duty, since he passed out a moment later. On top of me.”

“Ouch.” Royce winced. “So much for married bliss.”

“Quite,” she replied, dryly.

He