Lady Adalyn (The Saga Of Wolfbridge Manor Book 1), Sahara Kelly [the best e book reader .TXT] 📗

I trust he is not too upset with me, although he did not make an appearance last evening. He mentioned that he had business to attend to, and since I really have little idea of what he actually does, other than take such good care of me and Wolfbridge, I cannot be concerned at his absence now and again.

The others kept me company, and we spent a fruitful time discussing the Fairhurst murder, for such is how we now think of it.

Sir Amery was not a well-liked man, but as Evan so wisely commented - it takes more than a dislike for someone to instigate a killing. There has to be a motive somewhere, and we are all agreed that money is most like the root cause. Who would benefit? Who has something to gain by removing Sir Amery?

I am determined to find out.

In the meantime, I am following the dictates of that interesting letter. Although I yearn to feel strong arms around me, embracing my nakedness with their own warmth, I am refraining from inviting such actions for a little while. The feelings they arouse are monumental, and I love to lie and remember them before I fall asleep. This gives me great pleasure, and should help me through for a little while before the yearnings become cravings and I ask Jeremy to lie with me.

And that is something I eagerly anticipate.

I love him. I love them. All of them. They have quietly slipped into my heart, curled up and made a place for themselves that is now part of me. So I do not feel any concerns about lying with each of them. This house, this Manor…within its walls there is no prejudice, bigotry or jealousy. There are no disgusted looks or crude insinuations. No scandal will result from what goes on here at Wolfbridge. We love each other, care for each other, and take that caring outside to do the best we can to bring others such happiness.

Are we a level above Society in our outlook and our behaviour?

Or are we - as I’m sure many would assert - several levels below?

An interesting question for a theoretical debate. Perhaps I might ask it many years from now, when I have grandchildren from a different generation, a different Society. It would be fascinating to hear their thoughts.

I never imagined writing words like these, dear Diary. My life before Wilkerson was so…small. Bound by convention, by the lack of position so craved by my parents, and by the dictates of what my Mama thought I should be. To even think thoughts such as those above, let alone act on them, would have been viewed as disgusting. I would have been beaten quite thoroughly, I believe, deserving of such punishment in their eyes, since it might well lessen my value to them.

It is strange how little they enter my thoughts now. I have accepted that they never loved me, or even cared for me very much, since I was not the son they yearned for. I suppose I should hope that the settlement Wilkerson paid them for me was handsome and that it has bought them the affirmation they sought.

But I don’t hope that. I don’t hope anything at all for them, since I have now learned what real affection, loyalty and commitment mean. I have seen and experienced such things. The two people who bore me and raised me…well, they must have been incapable of the finer emotions.

All I feel now is a smidgen of pity and I have trouble recalling their faces on the rare occasions when I attempt to do so. 

Real love - the kind that lives not in the mind but in the heart and soul - that kind of love will never go away.

Chapter Twenty-Two

As Adalyn had predicted, Giles was of a reserved mood when he arrived to keep her company at breakfast the following morning.

“Giles, I’m so glad to see you,” she smiled. “I have many questions ready for you.”

“Ah,” he said, pouring tea for them both. “I see I must sit and answer them then.”

“Please…” She gestured to a chair. “But before anything, I feel I owe you an apology.”

“No you don’t.” He sipped his tea.

“Yes I do,” she insisted. “I spoke before thinking. I outlined ideas that I had not earlier presented to you, and yet they involved you, and that was wrong of me.”

He sighed. “My Lady, you are the Lady of Wolfbridge. You may say and do as you please. My duties are to ensure the smooth running of the household and the wellbeing of its mistress. Therefore, nothing you said or did yesterday was wrong.”

“Humph.” She snorted. “That’s all well and good, Giles, but I volunteered you to be a young woman’s guardian. That is surely above and beyond your Wolfbridge duties…”

He sighed. “We should not be arguing about whether what you said was right or wrong, Lady Adalyn. It is done, and now we must discuss our options from this point on.”

“You are cross with me, aren’t you.” She pouted and looked down at her tea.

His sigh was even louder, and she thought she heard his eyeballs rolling in his head. Peeking at him from beneath her eyelashes, she managed to make her lower lip tremble a little.

“Oh for…” His cheek twitched and a grin carved lines each side of his mouth. “You are a minx, my Lady Saucy.”

“I’m forgiven.” She fanned herself with one hand, grinning at him. “Thank you Giles. I’ll try not to be such a minx in the future.”

“Well, I’ll not hold you to that, but perhaps running ideas past me before you announce them might help?”

“I will do my best,” she answered, knowing that he was right.

“However, since you did say what you said, I have given it a lot of thought. And last night I penned letters to a couple of acquaintances in London.”

“You did?” She leaned forward. “Giles, that is