The Other Side of the Door, Nicci French [new reading .TXT] 📗

about the bowl. ‘In fact, if there’s any object at all that you want, take it, but take it now. We’ve got to draw a line—we’ve got to have, you know, like that thing where you can’t prosecute Nazi war criminals any more.’

‘A statute of limitation.’

‘That’s right. We had this strange time where we shared our things and we owned things together but it’s over.’

Amos folded up his piece of paper and put it back in his pocket. ‘You can keep the towels,’ he said. ‘They’ve gone a bit rough anyway.’

‘Is that it?’ I said. ‘You came all the way over here about towels you don’t want?’

‘And the Steely Dan boxed set. You’re really sure you haven’t got that?’

‘Is anything up?’ I asked.

Amos didn’t seem to be paying attention. He wandered around the room, inspecting the half-painted walls, the books in boxes, the general air of neglect and abandonment. ‘You want to get someone in to do this.’

‘I was planning to do most of it myself. That’s why I didn’t go away this summer.’

‘It looks as if you’re behind schedule.’

‘I think I may have taken on a bit too much,’ I admitted.

‘What happened to us?’ he said.

‘Amos . . .’

‘When I look at this mess here, you trying to make a home for yourself, and me with my stupid piece of paper and us arguing over who bought which paperback book . . .’

‘We didn’t really argue. We bickered.’

‘I can’t believe we started there and ended up here. Do you remember the early days? That time we had the plan to cycle along the canal towpath until we reached the countryside but we didn’t make it and came back on the train? That was when even the things that didn’t work out seemed somehow fine, and then we got to a stage where something was wrong even with the things that did work out. How did we get there—here?’

I’d known almost from the start that this visit wasn’t just about a few things he thought I’d taken. ‘We’ve been through all of this,’ I said. ‘Over and over again. We’ve moved on now. You’re with Sonia. She’s a special woman.’

He smiled. ‘In a way that you’re not?’

‘I can quite honestly say that Sonia is special in many ways that I’m not. I should also say that this is exactly the sort of conversation that you and I don’t have any more.’

Amos frowned and there was a pause.

‘It’s not working out,’ he said finally.

‘What do you mean?’ I said. ‘I had no idea.’

‘What?’ said Amos, puzzled. ‘No, I don’t mean Sonia and me. That’s fine. Whether it’s a serious thing, whether it’ll last, I don’t know.’

‘Stop,’ I said. ‘Don’t talk to me about that. I don’t want to hear. You’ve no right.’

‘Who else have I got to talk to?’

‘Not me,’ I said. ‘Anyone but me.’

He was affronted by that. Did he want to have Sonia and somehow hold on to me as well?

‘Anyway, I didn’t mean that. I meant the music, the performance.’

‘What’s your problem?’

‘My problem?’ he said, with a sarcastic laugh. ‘I just feel it’s my responsibility to point out that things are not going well.’

‘Have you been sent?’ I said. ‘Is that it?’

‘Of course they haven’t sent me,’ said Amos. ‘This isn’t the mutiny on the fucking Bounty. I just thought I should point out some salient truths to you. I mean, what a fucking collection you’ve brought together. I admit that Joakim’s a nice kid, although I can’t work out whether he’s got a bigger crush on you or on Hayden. You haven’t done him any favours by throwing him into this lion’s den. But his dad’s a complete pain in the arse.’

‘He’s out of his milieu.’

‘I don’t even know what he’s doing in the group apart from spying on his son and then not turning up when he feels like doing something else, though he’s pretty pompous about other people doing the same. Neal’s Neal, I suppose, and I’m not sure what he’s doing there either, unless your point was to surround yourself with admirers.’

‘Fuck off, Amos.’ He laughed. ‘No, really, I mean it. What’s this about? You were the one who wanted to be part of it.’

‘And what you thought you were up to letting Hayden loose on everybody, I just don’t know.’

‘So you don’t like him? Big deal. Get over it. You only need to see him a couple more times.’

‘I can’t understand what you thought you were up to bringing him in. If ever in my life I’ve met someone who was trouble, it’s him.’

‘I didn’t exactly bring him in. He offered to help out and thank God he did. He’s a real musician.’

‘He’s a real something,’ said Amos. ‘And I’m not really sure that I do dislike him. Which is pretty incredible of me, because I’ve never in my entire life met anyone who treated me the way he does. The only comfort is that he treats other people even worse. At least he doesn’t play around with me. In fact, if it was just me I’d find it quite interesting watching him at work fucking with people’s heads.’

‘Which is not what he’s doing.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Amos said. ‘Am I venturing onto delicate ground?’

‘If what you’re saying is that you want to drop out, then I can’t stop you.’

‘What I’m saying is that in my opinion either Hayden goes or it’s time to call a halt to this. It’s only a wedding. There are other dance bands in the phone book. I think we’d make a better contribution if we clubbed together and bought them a set of wine glasses.’

I didn’t immediately retort angrily, which I was tempted to do, because a part of me had been thinking the same thing. I’d embarked on this because I’d thought it would be easy and wouldn’t take much time. I’d been wrong on both counts.

‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s too late. It’s like when you taught me to play poker—you know, when you’ve put all your money in the pot and