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love, just like you were mine. But Melody was your soul mate. That doesn’t mean you can’t have another. I’d be really sad to see you settle for less. I’d be sad to see me settle for less.”

“You’re my soul mate, too, Casey. You’ve always been a part of me.” Ben looked down at our clasped hands.

I squeezed his hand. “If I hadn’t left, things would have been very different, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah.” He cuddled me close against his side, and I felt for an instant what it would have been like to have been sheltered by this man for all of my adult life.

“Ben...” I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. “If I had stayed here, would you have chosen me instead of Mel?”

He was silent for a moment, and I knew I shouldn’t have asked the question. To even think it wasn’t fair to Melody’s memory.

“Angel...”

“I’m sorry.” I drew my hand out of his grasp and placed my fingers over his lips. “That was selfish and stupid of me.”

Ben clasped my hand and kissed my fingers. “I don’t think Melody would mind if I told you this. I did choose you. I had already packed my bags to leave for New York when she found out she was pregnant with Jake. We’d gotten drunk together and consoled each other, just once, because we missed you. Jake happened, and I couldn’t afford to look back. I had to make it work with Melody, no matter what my heart wanted.”

I burrowed close against Ben’s side and savored the comfort his lean body offered. I had already guessed as much. To have it confirmed didn’t give the rush of vindication I’d expected, but I felt a warm flow of acceptance that events had unfolded exactly as they should. Maybe the things we’d wanted hadn’t been the right things, so fate had intervened and helped each of us to follow the path that had been pre-ordained. “So you and Melody made it work.”

“We did.” Ben unglued his hand from mine and wiped his eyes. “If we hadn’t, we’d have ruined our lives, and yours, and Jake’s. We had to forget the past and learn to love each other as more than friends. We had to learn to be more than two of the Three Musketeers. We did what we had to do to stay together, and somehow we created something bigger than both of us. I guess we turned into soulmates, despite ourselves.”

I leaned against his shoulder. “I wonder why you and I keep circling back to this place, when we’re obviously not meant to be together.”

Ben stiffened. “I don’t know what’s so obvious.”

“Ben, I love you, and I love your kids, but I’d always feel like I was betraying Melody if we ever... you know.”

Ben pulled me into a full hug, turning me toward him so he could put both arms around me. “You were never second choice with me. And if Melody had a choice, I know she’d choose you to take her place.”

His words were so close to what Melody had said, a shiver skimmed along my spine. I hugged Ben, then pulled away. I loved Mel, and I loved Ben. We had been the Three Musketeers, once. But now, we had to move on and find our own identities, separate from each other, but maybe still connected in all the ways that mattered. “We need to talk.”

Ben took his cue from me and put a little distance between us, leaning back on his elbows against the stairs. “About what?”

“I don’t know if you’ve looked at the school calendar, but the kids have Thanksgiving break all this week.”

“Yeah. Lois invited us to her house for Turkey Day. You too, of course.”

I brushed the invitation away, a fly at my shoulder. “Sometime this week, you need to take the kids to get a Christmas tree. The best ones are at the tree farm in Ferndale. The grocery store trees aren’t fresh. You’ll spend all your time sweeping up dead pine needles.”

Ben smiled, just a little upward curve at the corners of his mouth. “You are so bossy.”

“I’m just telling you what Melody would want you to do.” I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and looked back at him. “Christmas will sneak up on you before you know it. Take each kid separately to buy gifts for the others. I’ll babysit if you need me to. Go out for ice cream or some other treat while you’re shopping. It’s important that you spend quality time alone with each child. And I’m not just talking about this shopping thing. Understand?”

Ben nodded. He was beginning to look a little shell-shocked, but I wasn’t done.

“I’ve made a list—top drawer of your roll-top desk—of who each child needs to shop for, in case you don’t know. Teachers, best friends, relatives.”

“God, Casey.” He made the little “Tsss...” sound between his teeth that meant he was getting a belly full, so I hurried with the rest.

“Take Amy to visit Santa at the mall. Listen to what she asks for, and buy it as soon as you can. The stores run out of the most popular toys. Jake and Maryann won’t do the Santa thing. You’ll have to ask. But buy everything early, or you’ll never be able to find it all.”

“You are so mean,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m almost finished.” This was the hard part. I hadn’t meant to say any of this, but laying my burden down on Ben’s capable shoulders suddenly felt like the right thing to do. “You know I love you.”

Ben leaned forward. “Of course I do.”

“You know I love your children, and I would lay down my life for any one of you.”

“Oh, Casey.” He reached out to me.

I pushed him away. “If you or the kids ever need me, I’m there for you. But.” I took a deep breath. “Y’all need to stand on your own feet. If I keep showing up,

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