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when we arrived earlier, so they quickly compromised and made a combined playlist. Now every second song is my kind of music. Fire up the night by New Medicine starts playing, and I can’t help myself. My hips start swaying, and the rest of my body follows.

“Hell yeah!” Rhys downs a shot and comes to dance with me on the other side of the kitchen island.

Tillie and Dale join us then, and I let myself go, feeling the lyrics and beat of the music, singing along and feeling so light and carefree. Hands land on my hips, and my eyes shoot open. I didn’t even know I had shut them. It’s okay, though. It’s only Rhys dancing in front of me. Is it bad that I’d wished it was Ayden? I wonder if he even dances?

“You know, Lex. Every girl should have at least one lesbian experience.” Rhys steps closer and starts dancing against my body. Well, not dancing really, more like grinding. I laugh. This chick is hilarious.

“I mean, Rhys is right about that, but don’t let her weasel her way into your bed, Lexi. There are plenty of girls out there that would be more than happy to warm your sheets.”

I frown at Tillie. I can’t tell if she is just offering advice or if there’s a hidden meaning, and she’s referring to herself offering to warm my sheet. O. K. Shit just got weird.

“I’ll be the only one warming her sheets.”

The deep voice works like a drug, and I melt, closing my eyes. That voice. His voice. It manages to turn me into molten lava and sends a shiver up my spine at the same time. Strong hands slide over the curve of my hips and wrap around my body from behind, effectively breaking Rhys’s grinding hold of me. The heat from a familiar chest against my back renders me useless, and I’m unable to stop myself from relaxing back into him. I can feel every place where our bodies meet. One strong hand on my hip, holding me to him, another hand doing the same across my tummy, his firm chest rising and falling at my back, his hot breath on my neck.

“Well, fuck me. I want Lexi to look like that when I touch her!”

My eyes shoot open at Rhys’s words, and I stiffen. Shit. I’ve let down my wall.

No!

“Girl, she ain’t ever gonna look like that for you. She doesn’t love you.” Bell unhelpfully adds.

As if sensing my change, Ayden slowly loosens his hold on me and steps back. I can’t help but turn to him, once again, the invisible magnet leading me to him instead of away.

“Sorry, Lex.” His smooth voice is laced with concern, as are those ocean eyes of his that I could happily drown in. “I stepped over the line again. I’m trying. I really am.”

The pain behind his words almost sees me cave, give in and throw myself at him. I don’t, though, but fuck my life, I really want to.

Glancing over my shoulder, I see that Rhys, Tillie and Dale are looking on expectantly. I love my new friends, but what happens between Ayden and me is private.

“It’s okay.” Keeping my voice low, I offer him a small smile when I turn back, and he returns it with his own.

Cheers ring out, drawing our attention, and I look past Ayden to see Jared peeling off his shirt. Oh, good god! How is a girl supposed to have self-control around these guys?

“I’m totally down for poker,” Rhys growls in my ear as she passes by, strolling up to the table and seductively pokes her arse out as she takes a seat on Marcus’s lap.

Tillie jumps up and down, clapping, “Yay, strip poker. I’m in!”

And that’s how the rest of the night goes. Fucking strip poker. I don’t play, but I watch on, and I’m in tears from laughing so often that I eventually have to go and remove my makeup because black mascara starts running down my face.

I barely make it back out of my mum’s room when Rhys and Marcus somehow find their way in through the door while Rhys’s legs are wrapped around Marcus’s waist, and he peels her clothes off while their lips are locked.

That girl has no shame. And I love her!

The party moves to the lounge room, where everyone makes beds on the floor and couches before settling in to watch the movie, After. I hover in the doorway, not sure what to do. I’m tired and really just want to go to sleep, but there are too many bodies and too many hook-ups happening in front of me. Bell and Simon are snuggling up while Tillie is in deep conversation with Allister and Shaun, and Dale is not so subtly checking out Ayden, Jared and Garrett. While the last one is kind of funny, it hurts too much to see everyone else, so I turn around and walk up the hall to the staircase.

It's dark and looming, with most of the lights off in the house. To my left, I can hear quiet chatter from my friends in the living room as the movie starts playing. To my right, I can hear grunting and moaning coming from my mum’s room. Most of my clothes are in that room. Only some remain upstairs in my wardrobe, while the rest are at Marcus’s. I know that if I want to get changed, I’ll have to go up there. I had asked everyone to stay downstairs tonight, and they all respected my wish, but I had also hoped I could avoid going up there too. Going up there only results in anxiety. I fucking hate anxiety. I’m so sick of feeling this way, but I need to go up there. I need out of these clothes, and I need a bed.

Taking each step slowly, I silently climb the staircase, placing my feet in the spots that I know will cause the least creaking. If someone were

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