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stretch of road. Not when I have a son who needs me. My steely resolve returns. At one point I feared it had abandoned me. I grip the steering wheel tighter as they bump twice more into the back of me, harder this time. As the road widens, I see the car speed up in my side mirror, pulling around the right-hand side of me. Ready for this, I brake hard and it flies past me, swerving to the left as it does. No doubt trying to hit me from the side, not having expected me to brake so hard. I still can’t see who is driving, only that the car is black. I scream as it stops and starts reversing back. Whoever it is, is definitely trying to run me off the road.

Then, as another vehicle comes up behind me, the black 4x4 stops reversing before speeding away. There’s no rear plate for me to take a number. I also know from Rob’s death that there’s no CCTV on this road. I pull my car over to compose myself. Another car behind sounds its horn. Its furious occupant shouts obscenities as they are passing and also speeds off.

Pulling further into the side, I flick my hazards on. Someone is trying to frighten me. They have targeted me. They will be back; it is probably the same person who was in my house last night.

Wrapping my arms around the steering wheel, I lay my head on them, exhausted sobs wracking my body. I didn’t want to, but I must move to a new house – a new start. No one can live in fear like this. I’m not even safe at home. My thoughts race for several minutes, until they’re broken into by someone pulling up alongside me. A woman calls out. I open the window.

“Are you OK? Do you need any help?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for stopping. I had a near miss, that’s all. I’ll be on my way in a minute.”

“So long as you’re alright.”

She drives away. Her small kindness has lifted my spirits though. When I was really poorly with depression in between Grandma dying and meeting Rob, my counsellor suggested keeping a gratitude diary. I had to note three things each day that I was grateful for. This training has stayed with me and I still try to look for the good in each day. Usually. Within a few minutes, I’ve calmed myself enough to progress onto the chemist. I need to get off this road. I don’t feel at all safe anymore.

I collect my prescription and head for the police station again. DI Green is on her way out as I arrive. “Can I have a quick word?” I call across the car park.

“You certainly can. I was on my way to see you, so you’ve saved me a trip.” PC Robinson gets out of the car with her and we walk together into the station. “How are you doing?”

“Did you hear what happened last night?”

“Yes, I was told about it at handover this morning.” DI Green holds the door for me. “They didn’t find anyone around your house, did they? Are you OK?”

“Not really. I feel as though someone’s out to get me.”

“And did you find anything missing?”

“No.”

She and PC Robinson appear to exchange glances as she gestures for me to sit in the all-too-familiar spot inside the green interview room. It smells of stale sweat. “Was everything alright after my colleagues left you? They had a look around and we’ve had our patrols doing drive-bys through the night.”

“Yes. I locked everything up. I got little sleep though. I was hearing noises all night. But, as if things aren’t bad enough, a car has just tried running me off the road. In the same spot where Rob was killed.”

DI Diana Green’s face visibly changes from complacency to concern. “Get this down John?” She nods towards her colleague who pulls his notebook from his shirt pocket. “What do you mean, someone tried to run you off the road?”

“A car came up behind me. I thought it was going to overtake, but it bumped me four times instead. I couldn’t see the driver. The windows were blackened. Could I have a drink of water, please?” My usual anxiety and nausea is rising. After the funeral, I’m going to have to sort myself out. Take up yoga or meditation or something. Maybe I could join Bryony’s classes. The thought almost makes me laugh, despite all I’m facing right now.

PC Robinson presses a button and requests the water. “Did you get any details from the car? Even a partial number plate?”

I shake my head. “It all happened so quickly. I only got a look at the back of it, and the number plate had been taken off. It looked like a Land Rover, or maybe a Range Rover. It was big, and black. I think it only stopped bumping me because another car came up behind us.”

“How many times did it hit you?”

Shaking again at the thought of it. “Four from behind. Then if I hadn’t have slammed on when it overtook me, I’m sure it would have slammed into the side of me.”

“Is there any damage to your car?”

“I’m not sure. It’s pretty robust, my Jeep, so it’s still drivable.”

“It sounds as though they were trying to intimidate you, rather than anything more serious.”

Oh well, that’s alright then, I feel like saying. So long as they were only trying to intimidate me. “Look, maybe you’re trying to make me feel better, but is that not serious enough?”

DI Green straightens up. “John will come out and have a look at your car before you leave. See if there’s any paint scrapes. Have you any idea who it could have been?”

Misery drags at my stomach. “Well, as you know, there are a few possibilities. Rob’s boss. Rob’s ex-wife. Turner, Rob’s financial associate. Or it could be repercussions for what I did last week.” I count my enemies on

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