BLIND TRIAL, Brian Deer [top 10 motivational books .txt] 📗

Francisco, with that Ben on the scene, she was distant, held back, been a stranger. Now, with the blinds pulled tight against the morning, he felt sure she was going to say no.

She stroked his chest. She knew what pleased him. But her touch didn’t arouse him today. If they weren’t to live together, he must protect his feelings. He wanted this torment to end.

“There’s something I must say.” She withdrew her hand. “It’s been preying on my mind. I feel that it’s time for the truth.”

“About Mr. Louviere? Is this right? It’s him?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to talk about it. I really have. It’s all very confusing. I’ve not been very honest, and I’m sorry.”

So, this would be it? His suspicions were correct. All his plans were spiraling to disaster. He’d been sure on Tuesday, when he caught them outside, that he detected an energy between them. That night, and Wednesday, lovemaking was different: detached, mechanical, cold. Her body was there, but her mind was somewhere else. Where else but that fit young stud?

“Not honest you say? About you and Mr. Louviere?”

She touched his knee. “That’s right.”

“You see him Thursday? He was your meeting?”

“That’s right. Ben was my meeting. I’m sorry. You know how I value honesty above everything.”

He rolled onto his side to face the Twentieth Street windows. He didn’t want her to witness his pain.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’ve kept my life in compartments. I’ve been so silly. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“So?” He spoke toward the clock on the nightstand. “What is it you tell me now?”

“Oh, I don’t know. How do I say this? It’s complicated.”

“Please, keep nothing hidden. Please tell me the truth. The whole truth.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Behind him, her legs moved. “I’ll be glad to get it off my conscience.”

“Go on, please tell me it all.”

“You see, he’s here on an assignment. A special assignment. Very hush-hush. For the company.”

That wasn’t the whole story. Her tone said as much. She was keeping something back—something dark. “No, I do not think this is only a work assignment. It was him last night. He calls you at one o’clock. After one o’clock. You didn’t fool me.”

“Yes, okay, it was him. But I am telling the truth. I want to.” She pressed his spine between the fourth and fifth vertebrae. “He’s been investigating the trial. That’s why Dr. Mayr’s here. He’s her special assistant.”

Hiroshi rolled over and studied Sumiko’s eyes. “He calls you after one o’clock to talk about a clinical trial? No, I don’t think so. No, not correct.”

She smiled thinly, but warmly. He loved her smiles. She was so very beautiful, his Sumiko.

“Honestly. There’s been a problem with Wilson. They’ve been investigating irregularities at the center. I reported him to the company. It’s all a huge secret because of their license next week. They’ve been doing source data verification.”

“And this brings him here?”

“I’m not supposed to say. I feel guilty about telling you at all.”

“At one o’clock in the morning?”

“Yes.”

Hiroshi sat up and they faced each other. “A problem with phase III?” He kissed her nose.

“It’s all a total shambles. Really shocking. Things they’ve been doing you actually wouldn’t believe.”

He kissed her again. “You must tell me.”

She kissed him back. “I will.”

Hiroshi rose and moved to the foot of the bed. He grabbed her ankles and pulled.

Sumiko fell back, her arms above her head. She lay naked beneath his gaze.

Then he pulled her further and knelt on the floor as her beautiful knees moved apart.

AFTER TEN or more minutes of greedy pleasure—writhing, moaning, twisting, gasping—she retreated to the living room and the Banggai cardinalfish, where her secret sisters had their say. Where had her mind gone to? Not to one man, nor the other. To sensation: to selfish enjoyment. She’d rolled and wriggled and squeezed Hiroshi’s ears. She’d clutched his hair tight between her fingers. But who was really down there? Were they really connecting? Why did she see those eyes?

Blue eyes.

She lifted the lid of the aquarium and squatted. Tangs and royal grammas darted to safety. Confusion swirled as she sprinkled tropical food flakes. Hiroshi was so kind, so attentive. She watched air pumping, bubbling to the surface. He knew how much she adored it. She could never forget that night in Shanghai. But Ben had thrilled her too.

Were two men more different? One, the Japanese scientist: the fierce intellectual, six years her senior; her teacher, guide, and mentor. The other, the young American: the athlete and artist; with those puppydog hands and that smell. Both had such strengths, such desirable qualities. What woman wouldn’t wallow in their virtues? But they spoke to different parts of her. Two vocabularies. Two languages. And she’d had them here speaking at once.

A thump from the bedroom, bare feet in the corridor, then Hiroshi appeared naked in the doorway. “Tell me now about the assignment. Everything. I like this. I think this is good. Very good.”

She rose from the tank and shut the lid as fish nibbled and sucked around the reef. “Let’s take a shower, and I’ll tell you over breakfast. There’s a place I know by the water.”

“Yes, we go out.” He jumped on the settee. “But you keep me too long in suspense. Tell me about Trudy Mayr.”

She turned from the aquarium. “It’s really very shabby. It all started with Wilson. I’ve told you about Frank Wilson, I think.”

“Many times. How could I forget? What goes around, comes around. Inga ōhō.”

“He’s such an asshole. You wouldn’t believe. And we were losing so many volunteers at the center. Then Doctorjee turns up, and have you heard of SPIRE?”

“Sustaining Participation, Involvement, and Retention Endeavor?”

“That’s the one. You wouldn’t believe what they were doing with that.”

“If Trudy Mayr is involved, I believe anything.”

“So, she’s looked at our database this week and found Doctorjee was signing lost to follow-up forms, pretending to be relatives of the volunteers, and mailing them to SPIRE himself. He was actually forging their signatures.”

“Yes. Yes. What we expect in American