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but you…?” His hand slid up my leg slowly, his eyes burning into mine. “You were my heart, and I needed to be true to it. I’m sorry, Paige. I love that Zack found you, could be the man you needed, helped you find the strength to be what you are. I feel like I’ve come in late, way too late, whilst hoping like hell I haven’t.”

His kiss, when he pressed it to my lips, hit way harder than Declan’s hand. I closed my eyes, leaning into it, letting that simple press of lips say what I needed to say, before the words came.

I didn’t open my eyes to say them. It was easier from the darkness that still lay within.

“You scraped me clean, sliced me open, cut me in two, then cauterised my heart with your words. When I came back, you just kept on stabbing. You know I love you.” I paused, waiting for an answer but just got the sound of his breath instead. “But I will cut you out of my life with a ruthless intensity you’ve never seen before if you ever, ever put ideas like honour or duty before me again.”

“That’s my girl.”

My eyes flicked open to find me standing on my feet, facing down Zack.

Chapter 33

My hands were taped, my body covered now in my usual training gear. He took in my stance and my fists with an approving nod.

“That’s it. Poised, weight on the balls of your feet, fists up. You’re ready, baby.”

“Ready for what? To get the fuck out of the Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror, because can I get a fuck yes to that?” I growled out.

“Not that, not yet. The only way is through, you know that.” And for all his calm, confident tone, my heart sank as I saw what rose in the mirrors. Huge, dark as the pitiless night.

“Zack…”

“I’ve taught a lot of people over the years, but none of them am I more proud of than you. You take every challenge on the chin. You take the hit and keep on rolling.”

“Zack…”

I shifted closer, wanting to edge in between the beast and my mate, but his dark shape was reflected in every mirror. I felt a pang of something I hadn’t felt in so long—powerlessness.

“Don’t let your defences waver, babe, no matter what’s going on around you.” I felt Zack’s fingers on my shoulders, lifting my fists higher, keeping them protecting my face.

“Zack!”

In the glass, I saw the black wolf step free of the crystalline surface, coming to stand behind my love in the exact way he had behind Mason, his mouth opening slowly wider.

“It’s OK, babe. We’ve trained for this. There’s nothing you can’t do. He might look a helluva lot bigger than you, but you know what to do. Let your training, not the emotion, run the show.” His finger went to tap my temple, but instead, they just trailed down the side of my face. “You’ve got this.”

And I did, I just didn’t like it. He protested when I pushed him behind me, but all the tricks and techniques weren’t going to help me here, and I saw the moment when he realised it too. His eyes went up, up, up, trying to take the wolf in, but it was nigh impossible. That same harsh, grasping wind picked up, filling the room with an impenetrable gloom.

Somehow, I was right back where I was with Mason, having no idea how I got here and how to get out of it again. What was the fucking point? What did this Father Wolf want? As I heard my voice echo in the darkness, I realised I’d shouted just that at him. His eyes glowed like the moon itself as he lowered his head down, those terrible jaws opening farther, his breath tugging at us with every exhale.

“This is what you saw in Mason?” Zack ground out, trying to keep me here, not let my feet scud across the floor. I nodded abruptly. “And how did you stop him last time?”

It was then my muscles released, my footsteps instantly moving forward several inches, while Zack held on hard, trying to be my anchor as always, but not this time. I wriggled my way free, turning to face him, not the wolf, because if I was gonna do this, I was gonna do it looking at him.

“Sacrifice,” I said finally, letting him go. “That’s what it took.”

I saw his face fall, and for the first time, honest to goodness fear rose in my mate’s eyes as I threw my arms wide, abandoning everything he taught me, because not everything could be fought through.

“I love you,” I said, hoping he could hear me over the rising wind. “I love that you always stood by me. That you built that place for us. That you hassled Margaret to work out what I was and how to help me. It took me way too fucking long to work that out. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”

I didn’t get to say anything more, as the beast sucked in one last breath and me with it, swallowing me down.

For a long time, or maybe seconds, I’ll never know, there was only darkness. Pure, cold, unadulterated darkness. I wasn’t floating or hovering within it. I wasn’t, full stop. The only part of me was a tiny speck of consciousness that sensed I was out there, surrounded by the nothing. And then, there was pain.

“NO!”

Part howl, part scream, it tore through what was and what is to become and what could be. Fingers slashed through the immense blackness, clawing wildly at the nothing. Slicing into it at first, then shredding it with his claws, and then they reached, blindly hopeful, for me. As if summoned by his offer, I felt my body, myself return, and my first act as a newly restored being was to take that hand.

I was wrenched into reality, the mirrors, the black painted floor, the dusty and slightly mouldy scent, all rushing

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