The Dead Secret, Wilkie Collins [best historical biographies .TXT] 📗

we all see, Sir?⁠—We saw you, ma’am, lying horizontally prostrate, on the top of the landing of the first of the flight of the north stairs; and we saw those keys, now hanging up yonder, abstracted and purloined, and, as it were, snatched from their place in this room, and lying horizontally prostrate likewise on the floor of the hall.⁠—There are the facts, the circumstances, and the events, laid, or rather placed, before you. What have you got to say to them? I call upon you both solemnly, and, I will add, seriously! In my own name, in the name of Mrs. Pentreath, in the name of our employers, in the name of decency, in the name of wonder⁠—what do you mean by it?”

With that conclusion, Mr. Munder struck his fist on the table, and waited, with a glare of merciless expectation, for anything in the shape of an answer, an explanation, or a defense which the culprits at the bottom of the room might be disposed to offer.

“Tell him anything,” whispered Sarah to the old man. “Anything to keep him quiet; anything to make him let us go! After what I have suffered, these people will drive me mad!”

Never very quick at inventing an excuse, and perfectly ignorant besides of what had really happened to his niece while she was alone in the north hall, Uncle Joseph, with the best will in the world to prove himself equal to the emergency, felt considerable difficulty in deciding what he should say or do. Determined, however, at all hazards, to spare Sarah any useless suffering, and to remove her from the house as speedily as possible, he rose to take the responsibility of speaking on himself, looking hard, before he opened his lips, at Mr. Munder, who immediately leaned forward on the table with his hand to his ear. Uncle Joseph acknowledged this polite act of attention with one of his fantastic bows; and then replied to the whole of the steward’s long harangue in these six unanswerable words:

“I wish you good day, Sir!”

“How dare you wish me anything of the sort!” cried Mr. Munder, jumping out of his chair in violent indignation. “How dare you trifle with a serious subject and a serious question in that way? Wish me good day, indeed! Do you suppose I am going to let you out of this house without hearing some explanation of the abstracting and purloining and snatching of the keys of the north rooms?”

“Ah! it is that you want to know?” said Uncle Joseph, stimulated to plunge headlong into an excuse by the increasing agitation and terror of his niece. “See, now! I shall explain. What was it, dear and good Sir, that we said when we were first let in? This⁠—‘We have come to see the house.’ Now there is a north side to the house, and a west side to the house. Good! That is two sides; and I and my niece are two people; and we divide ourselves in two, to see the two sides. I am the half that goes west, with you and the dear and good lady behind there. My niece here is the other half that goes north, all by herself, and drops the keys, and falls into a faint, because in that old part of the house it is what you call musty-fusty, and there is smells of tombs and spiders, and that is all the explanation, and quite enough, too. I wish you good day, Sir.”

“Damme! if ever I met with the like of you before!” roared Mr. Munder, entirely forgetting his dignity, his respectability, and his long words in the exasperation of the moment. “You are going to have it all your own way, are you, Mr. Foreigner? You will walk out of this place when you please, will you, Mr. Foreigner? We will see what the justice of the peace for this district has to say to that,” cried Mr. Munder, recovering his solemn manner and his lofty phraseology. “Property in this house is confided to my care; and unless I hear some satisfactory explanation of the purloining of those keys hanging up there, Sir, on that wall, Sir, before your eyes, Sir⁠—I shall consider it my duty to detain you, and the person with you, until I can get legal advice, and lawful advice, and magisterial advice. Do you hear that, Sir?”

Uncle Joseph’s ruddy cheeks suddenly deepened in color, and his face assumed an expression which made the housekeeper rather uneasy, and which had an irresistibly cooling effect on the heat of Mr. Munder’s anger.

“You will keep us here? You?” said the old man, speaking very quietly, and looking very steadily at the steward. “Now, see. I take this lady (courage, my child, courage! there is nothing to tremble for)⁠—I take this lady with me; I throw that door open, so! I stand and wait before it; and I say to you, ‘Shut that door against us, if you dare.’ ”

At this defiance, Mr. Munder advanced a few steps, and then stopped. If Uncle Joseph’s steady look at him had wavered for an instant, he would have closed the door.

“I say again,” repeated the old man, “shut it against us, if you dare. The laws and customs of your country, Sir, have made me an Englishman. If you can talk into one ear of a magistrate, I can talk into the other. If he must listen to you, a citizen of this country, he must listen to me, a citizen of this country also. Say the word, if you please. Do you accuse? or do you threaten? or do you shut the door?”

Before Mr. Munder could reply to any one of these three direct questions, the housekeeper begged him to return to his chair and to speak to her. As he resumed his place, she whispered to him, in warning tones, “Remember Mrs. Frankland’s letter!”

At the same moment, Uncle Joseph, considering that he had waited long enough, took a step forward to the door. He was prevented from advancing any farther by