Confessions from the Quilting Circle, Maisey Yates [animal farm read TXT] 📗

This was Keira’s daughter. And no matter what Lark thought about anything, no matter how she had been hurt, from the past until now, no matter what she hoped for with Ben, Keira had been her friend. And Lark was the keeper of her own complicated decisions.

“Did she say what she wanted?”

“To see me. She wants to see me.”

“Are you going to be angry at her forever?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Lark sighed. “I... I don’t think that I’m the right person to talk to you about this, but I’m here. I cared about your mom a lot when we were teenagers. We were all friends, and I hate that she hurt your dad. But I don’t know why she left. She’s a person, like me. Which means that...she has reasons for her mistake, or she thinks she does.”

“But she left me. She left him.”

She paused. “Do you know who else left her family?”

“No.”

“Addie. My grandmother. She left my mom when she was just a little girl. Left her husband with three kids.”

“She did?”

“Yes. And my mom never got over it. Addie came back, and when she did, my mom made sure that we had a relationship with her, but she never really did. I don’t blame her. I don’t think she was wrong for that. Not really.”

Her breath caught. “There are some wounds that only time can heal. But some wounds are so deep there isn’t enough time. Not for time alone to do the job. And Addie died before they could ever... Before they could ever talk. Right now, my family is untangling a lot of unsaid things. And what I can tell you is this. The same woman who worked in this candy store is the same woman who left her husband and children behind. The same woman who was a wonderful grandmother for me, who supported me and loved me and influenced me in the decisions that I made in my life was the same woman who hurt my mother deeply and desperately. Who hurt the grandfather that I loved so very much, made him bitter about love to his dying day. She had both things in her.”

Lark looked down at her hands. “There are certainly things about me that your mom doesn’t know about. Wounds that I have, burdens that I carry. I’m certain that she has her own. And I don’t know... It was wrong of her to leave you. It doesn’t change that. It was wrong of my grandma to abandon her husband and children. But it doesn’t mean they’re all bad. You’ve seen that. And I guess it’s up to you to decide if you want to try and find the good things. It’s not fair. It means you have to be more mature than she is. And you’re only fifteen. It’s not fair. And you don’t have to do it now.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“At the very least you should go back and yell at her more. Say what needs to be said. Say what hurts. Because I think in the end the unspoken things can create hurts that never needed to be there in the first place. I thought my mother would disapprove of something that I did, and I never told anyone because I was ashamed. Because I thought I knew how it would go. She never talked to her mother, because she didn’t think there was any fixing it. And maybe there wasn’t. That’s the thing. Maybe we were both right. Maybe telling wouldn’t have been better. But you know, there’s something definite in it. And in the end, it’s really awful to be left with a lot of what ifs. And I think it leaves more space. For bitterness, for wondering. For everything. A whole lot of things that hurt a whole lot worse.”

Lark forced a smile. “And the only reason that I’m giving you any advice at all is that it’s about the only use you can get out of pain. You can try to use it to help someone else. You can try to use it to build yourself something new. Otherwise it’s just pain.”

But if Ben wanted to be back with Keira, she didn’t know how she would survive that a second time.

Well, maybe you go say something? Maybe you quit assuming that you know how it’s going to go, and stop being passive.

“You should go talk to your dad. Give him a heads-up. I mean, I can, but...”

“I will. For all I know she’s there. Trying to talk to him.”

“Well. Let me know.”

“Okay.”

When you get a chance, I want to talk to you. Face-to-face. You can come here or I’ll go there.

She hit Send. And then she put her phone away.

She wasn’t going to drift off. Not this time. She was ready to fight if she had to. She was ready to be a little emotional, a little reckless.

Because he was worth it.

They were worth it.

30

We married as soon as we arrived in Oregon City. There is more travel ahead, to get to a newly incorporated town called Bear Creek, where John’s land is. I have written to the school to let them know they will need to find a new teacher. Bear Creek has need of one, and I will teach there.

Anabeth Dowell’s diary, 1864

Avery

It was her third day at her new job, and she was finally feeling less... Well, like less of an idiot. At first the whole register situation, which was just an attachment and a stand on a tablet, had made her feel about hundred and fifty years old, and completely incompetent. But it was beginning to make sense to her. She was starting to learn a little bit about the stock, and actually remember some prices and information. It was a quirky place full of handmade, artisan goods, and she really liked all of it, plus all the people.

And she had taken off her wedding ring. She had also found a lawyer, one of the women at her