Deep River Promise, Jackie Ashenden [large ebook reader .TXT] 📗

He hadn’t left. He was here, at her house, talking to her son.

The fury climbed higher. Why the hell was he back? After making such a big deal about leaving? God help him, if he broke Connor’s heart again, she would skin him alive, stuff him, and stand him beside the door of the Moose as a warning.

Shoving back her chair, she stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall to find Connor standing in the entrance, grinning like a lunatic, and Damon Goddamn Fitzgerald standing beside him, also grinning like a lunatic.

Both of them turned as she approached.

The bright expression on her son’s face would have broken her heart if it hadn’t been broken already, while Damon’s eyes flared a brilliant electric blue, a familiar determination settling over his handsome features.

“I…uh…gotta go,” Connor said, still grinning. “Go easy on him, Mom.” Then before she could say another word, he took off out the front door and ran down the steps.

Damon closed the door very deliberately, not taking his eyes off her.

Her broken heart seized in her chest, making the flood of fury climb even higher, bursting out of her before she could stop it.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded, her voice shaking. “You said that you were leaving, that you were very sorry but you couldn’t—” She broke off abruptly as he stalked slowly toward her.

“What are you doing?” Her heart began to race.

“What do you think I’m doing?” He didn’t stop.

“Damon…” She was breathing very fast, and the look in his eyes was very intent, very sure. “Damon.”

But he didn’t stop. He came even closer, and she knew she should back away and run, protect herself somehow, because she’d said goodbye to him and she was barely holding it together as it was. She didn’t need him coming back for whatever reason.

She opened her mouth to tell him to get out of her house and never come back, because seeing him again hurt; it just hurt so much. But before she could get the words out, he dropped to his knees on the floor in front of her.

Astrid stared at him in shock.

“I know you’re angry,” Damon said, his gaze holding hers. “And you have every right to be. You gave me your heart and I threw it away. And I’m sorry, Astrid. I’m so goddamn sorry that I hurt you, and Connor too.” His expression was intense. “You were right. You were right about everything. I was scared. I didn’t want to go back to the place where I was after Ella died. I didn’t want to feel anything so deeply again because it nearly killed me the first time, so I told myself the ability to feel was gone. And that a life with no ties or connections would suit me just fine.” Blue fire flamed in his eyes. “But then I met you and I started to feel again, and it scared the shit out of me. I told myself a lot of lies about what I was feeling. I did what my mom taught me to do: I ignored it and tried to carry on. But I was wrong, honey. I was so wrong.”

Astrid’s throat had gone tight, her vision blurring. All she could do was stand there, staring at him as he knelt at her feet. Her beautiful man…

“And you were right.” His voice had gotten thicker, rougher. “You were right about me. Love isn’t finite and I never lost the ability to feel. It’s still there. I was just afraid of it. And I’m tired of telling myself the same old lies. Tired of sucking it up and carrying on. Tired of pretending I don’t feel anything. Tired of having nothing in my life. I want something different. I want something meaningful. I want you.” He stared at her as if she were the center of the universe. “I want to stay here with you and Connor. I want to bring my mom here too. I want a life full of ties and connections and community and friends. And not because of Cal or any other kind of promise. I want it because I love you and my life is nothing without you in it.”

The tear that had rolled down her cheek before was joined by another, and then another. Which was just silly, because she hated crying. And here she was, standing in her hallway, with the most beautiful man in the world kneeling at her feet, and she was crying because she was happy. How stupid was that?

“Damon,” she said in a thick voice, blinking furiously. “Why are you kneeling?”

The smile he gave her was so full of warmth and tenderness she couldn’t breathe. “I’m trying to be a gentleman. And gentlemen always kneel when they ask for a woman’s hand in marriage.”

A hiccup of laughter escaped her. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m not getting up until I get an answer.”

It didn’t matter, the tears. Nothing mattered. Nothing but this man in front of her, who wasn’t leaving after all. Who was here and not for some promise or because he wanted to protect her or look out for her. He was here because he loved her.

Damon Fitzgerald loved her.

Astrid wiped her face. “You hurt me.”

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“You broke my heart.”

His blue gaze searched her face, full of tenderness and regret. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Well, someone’s going to have to stay and help me repair it.” That heart of hers was beating very fast and she knew that taking another step toward him would change things irrevocably. But things had already changed. She was in love with him, and nothing would alter that. And she was okay with it. She was more than okay with it.

Astrid took a step and then another, until she was right up close to him. There was love in that blue gaze of his. Love and joy and hope. All the things she’d had small tastes of but never been able