Lady Adalyn (The Saga Of Wolfbridge Manor Book 1), Sahara Kelly [the best e book reader .TXT] 📗

to me it has been an eon. I scarce recall my previous life; the day Giles found me is a blur. It is as if I was reborn when I crossed the threshold of the Manor. And now I am the Lady, and I can finally say I believe I can accomplish the task and willingly shoulder the burdens.

There have been discoveries, tragedies and moments of blinding enlightenment.

Most of these have involved my four gentlemen - those living here in Wolfbridge and dedicated to my needs.

I have loved them all in different ways, both emotionally and physically.

They, I believe, love me. They give of themselves freely and without inhibition, and from them I have learned that pleasure - when shared with love - is a wonderful blessing. Heaven is to be found in the arms of someone who puts your welfare before their own. But now, everything is starting to change.

I stood on that bank and watched as Daniel was swept away by the river.

My very soul screamed out in horror at that moment. It was as if something inside me was ripped away, leaving me bloody and helpless, reaching out my arms in a futile effort to reverse the inevitable.

The following minutes - which I still can recall as feeling like years - tore at me as I ran down to the riverbank, desperate to learn if Daniel had avoided the turbulent waters.

I couldn’t see him…and the agony of that statement is still making the tears flow over my cheeks.

When I finally heard his cry and saw him, clinging desperately to a piece of wood and then trying to reach a branch - my mind was in turmoil, for I was neither strong enough nor adept enough to assist him. All I could do was wait, long minutes of unadulterated terror, keeping his dear face in sight and telling him to hold on…begging him to keep clasping the slender branch that was all that kept him from vanishing into the river.

When at last the others got a rope secured and drew him back to dry land - my arms were there, desperately awaiting his.

And something told me at that moment that I would never feel that way for anyone else.

He said he loved me. Hanging in the water, a breath from eternity, he looked at me and mouthed the words.

My heart knew the truth of it, dear Diary.

Daniel has become the one to whom I can truly pledge my life without a question or a doubt.

Do I still love Jeremy, Evan and Trick?

Of course. I shall always have a warm place in my heart for my gentlemen, no matter where or when or how we are together. They are essential to my well-being, and their willingness to cater to my happiness is returned in full by my humble self.

But I cannot now imagine them lying with me, sharing my bed.

Jeremy was a pleasure - a man skilled in loving, as are they all.

I have relished Evan’s caresses and Trick’s arousing touches. They awakened something inside me that has burst into bloom here at Wolfbridge.

And the result? I have learned to love with all that I am.

Daniel came to me with love, and brought me to the full realisation of my own capacity to return that love. His person is all that I could desire, his wit is delightful and he treats me not only as a woman grown, but as a woman with a mind. I feel respected, as well as loved, cared for in a way that elevates me and has helped me learn to be who I now am.

What does this all mean for the future, you might well ask, dear Diary.

The answer to that is - I cannot say.

There is still work to be done here…I wish to begin the Wolfbridge market, I wish to have Trick returned home, and I would like to ensure the harvest is better than last year’s, although the weather is still not cooperating as much as it should. We have yet to find out about our plan for Judith’s guardianship, even though she is now safe in London with the Sydenhams, thanks to Giles.

And I have not forgotten Jeremy and Miss Brockford, although we have heard nothing from her as of this writing. I shall merely trust that that situation remains the same. Then there is Evan. So quiet, yet so much a part of my life here. Have I neglected him? I worry that he might feel slighted, since his attentions have been as thorough and as affectionate as anyone, but the love I feel for him never deepened, the way it has for Daniel.

Even though it would appear that my heart has settled on one gentlemen, I still have more than enough love to encompass the others, and I must make sure to let them know of it.

I have not foregone the notion of buying Fivetrees, although it is not as important as other matters.

I would love to celebrate the holiday season here, surrounded by those I love.

Much of this depends on Giles and how he responds when I tell him of my deep and abiding love for Daniel.

And of course Daniel must also play an important role.

So those matters must lie ahead of us; while for now I shall continue the work I have begun, not only for the Manor estate, but for my life in the future.

Yes, thoughts of marriage have crossed my mind, for I would very much like a family of my own, where my children are loved and educated and raised to be proud and happy. The exact opposite of my own childhood, I suppose.

However, marriage would mean both Daniel and I must leave Wolfbridge, and that would be a wrenching blow. If I could remain for the rest of the year - if Daniel feels the same and we can allow our love to bloom over those months, then I would be content to wed and leave for a new life in