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as shit.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that barked out, nor the snort that followed.

Goat lit a cigarette before wrapping an arm around me and walking me back to the truck. “You did good, Kel. You protected your family. I know you didn’t want it to go down like this, but you can’t always control how things turn out.”

“I can’t wait to get my hands on the bastard who killed them. He has some explaining to do.”

Goat helped me up into the truck. “Are you going to lose sleep over this?” he asked, nodding toward the barn.

“No,” I answered, looking back at the barn. “It somehow fits within my rules.”

“What rules are those?”

“I didn’t kill them,” I said, shrugging. “I told myself a long time ago that bad guys killing other bad guys was not my problem.”

“And burying the bodies?”

I shrugged. “We both know I’ve done worse.”

Goat laughed as he closed my door and walked to the driver’s side to climb in.

I waited until he backed the truck up, giving myself time to think out my question.

“Whatever you’re thinking so hard on, just spit it out,” Goat said.

“Is Marcy…” I started to ask, pointing at the yard.

“Nope. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t do it,” Goat said. “Marcy’s an evil bitch, but she’s still Amanda’s mother. She’s allowed to write to Amanda, but that’s the only contact she’s allowed. She’s living in El Paso and knows if she ever crosses the Texas border, she forfeits her life.”

“Marcy’s not that bright. You sure she’ll stick to the rules?”

“Dumb or not, her missing ring finger should help her remember.”

I looked down at my hand, specifically my right hand that held the diamond and sapphire ring. “That’s one hell of a reminder.”

“You judging?”

“Me?” I laughed. “I nearly killed her with my bare hands, remember? I’m just happy I don’t have to worry about her filing charges.”

“It’s all good. We held her until her bruises healed so she should couldn’t prove the assault. Then Wild Card took her to Texas and got her settled. Between me cutting off her finger and Wild Card promising to check on her every few months, she’s harmless.”

“Wild Card? But he was shot and then went to Florida with me to take down Pasco.”

“After the shit with Pasco, Wild Card flew back to deal with Marcy.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I suppose for the same reason you don’t tell him a lot of things. It’s just how you two work. It’s not a matter of keeping secrets, it’s just automatic that you two have each other’s backs. Like how he stayed with Nicholas when Nola kidnapped you. Not searching for you nearly destroyed him, but Nicholas was his priority. He said he’d protect your son until his last breath because that’s what you’d want him to do. The rest of us followed every lead we could find, but Wild Card stayed on that ranch close to Nick.”

“I thought Charlie was there?”

“She was, but she wasn’t handling things too well. She tried, but she didn’t snap out of her despair until you called to say you were safe. Then it was like a light flipped on, and Wild Card knew it was okay to fly out to meet you and leave Nick with her.”

“What about Grady?”

“Grady, Jackson, and Eric fanned out in different directions as soon as we got the call you were missing. Nothing was keeping them from traveling the world to find you.”

I looked out the side window as we passed empty fields. “Why didn’t anyone tell me any of this?”

“Tell you what? That we all love you? That the months you were missing were hell?” Goat leaned forward, turning down the radio. “Remember how messed up you were when you came home? You didn’t need anyone adding to your burdens. By the time you healed, so had everyone else.”

I looked down at my hand, realizing I was twisting the ring around in circles. “I’m glad Nicholas had Wild Card. I worried when we left Texas how Nicholas would handle being away from him.”

“Wild Card calls him,” Goat said, shrugging. “Last I knew, they talk every Saturday.”

I looked over at Goat, eyebrow raised. “That’s who Nick calls? I thought he was calling Pops.”

“I know.” Goat laughed. “Nicholas is a smart kid. He knows that Grady and Wild Card are friends, but that there’s tension there. He told you he was calling Pops because he didn’t want to hurt Grady’s feelings.”

“Why are you telling me all this, Goat? Why now?”

“I think you know why,” Goat said, looking at me sideways. “There’s no shame in being in love with two men. But ignoring it? Pretending the feelings don’t exist? That’s not healthy for anyone involved.”

“I love Grady,” I said, shaking my head. “We’re likely over, but that doesn’t change how I feel about him.”

“I know you love Grady. Got no problem with that. But you also love Wild Card.” Goat flicked the blinker on before turning left onto the interstate ramp.

Chapter Thirty-One

I snuck in through Alex’s basement, then followed the tunnels to the main house furnace room. From there, I climbed the ladder to my room, peeking out of the closet to make sure the nanny wasn’t around before I slipped into my bathroom and started the shower. Ten minutes later, I was dressed in a sports bra, shorts, and workout shoes as I walked down the hallway, pulling my wet hair into a ponytail.

“Where’s my shirt?” I called out to the loud, packed dining room.

“Got it,” Katie answered, tossing me a t-shirt.

Haley and Tyler were both watching me.

I nodded slightly as I pulled the shirt over my head. “Is everything ready for the relay?”

Before anyone could answer, Hattie laughed from the top of

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