Locomotive to the Past, George Schultz [snow like ashes series txt] 📗

too interested in you! Probably too interested in you! But, you see? There’s something . . . something about your ‘Aunt Debbie’! Some certain thing! Something, that puts a really-peaceful look . . . for want of a better word… in your eye. And… quite frankly . . . I’d give a cookie, to know . . . know exactly . . . what there is, about her. What emotional hold she has on you. What quality she has… that gives you such a far-away glow! What there was about her, anyway… that never fails to set you all-aglow! I find myself wishing that… well, that I could put that sort of ‘look’ there! Something even close!”

He’d never had a girl—a woman—come anywhere near saying what Valerie had just flat-out declared! His celebrated “royal flush” had returned! In spades! Well, it had never left! Not completely! And his mind—whatever portion of it, that remained more-or-less functioning—was racing! Madly! Full bore!

It’s what there WAS . . . not what there IS . . . about her, that gives me that far-away glow!

He’d found himself wondering—whether he might have said that last declaration aloud! Apparently not! And, dammit, his thought process had, sadly, droned on, and on and on! She’s WAY far away! Far-a-damn-WAY! He found himself making a Herculean attempt—to “pull himself together”!

“I really don’t know . . . what it was! What it is,” he answered—at length. His voice was almost like a moan—albeit a subdued one. “Don’t really know.”

“Okay. I’m not going to beat a dead horse… you should excuse the expression.”

“Listen, Valerie. You were right! Have been right, all along! When you’ve figured out… that I’ve never been close. Close to anyone! That includes even my… ah… my ersatz aunt.”

“Ersatz? My! You really are well-read. Well-spoken! All right,” she granted, sighing heavily, “I’ll go ahead… and drop it. Tell me, Jason. Are you thinking seriously, of buying a car… of buying a car… any time soon?”

“Where did that come from?” He found himself becoming quite unglued. Totally flummoxed! The more so—once he’d seen her expression. He’d used one of those out-of-the-future terms—in his terse response. He tried—desperately—to cover up his, out-of-control, emotions! Everything—at that moment—seemed to reek of desperation!

“Why?” He tried to add some body to his voice. “Are you tired? Tired… of all this walkin’ that we’ve been doing?”

“No!” Now she was back—to being apologetic. “Again, it’s none of my business. It’s just that… look… cars are really getting more and more expensive. By the day, I’m sure. I just thought that…”

“I know,” he answered, cryptically. “They’re not makin’ ’em anymore. Eric advised me of that… just this morning.”

Jason couldn’t understand what had come over him! He’d never been in the state of mind—the muddled, highly-conflicted, state of mind—in which he’d found himself! Even on those, far-too-often, occasions, when he’d been immersed, in heavy conflict, with his mother—which had always been ever-so-constant!

But, that was—that had been—Sheila! This—this is Valerie! This sweet young woman! She should be the last woman—on earth—with whom, to be upset! Well, maybe that was wrong! That “last woman”—should, probably, be Susan! This whole, unwanted, mindset—this God-awful, involuntary, mindset—was completely beyond comprehension! Again, totally-uncharted territory!

“Jason, look.” Valerie’s ultra-apologetic tone was yet another surprise. “Look,” she repeated. “I’ve been coming on… both now, and on Friday night… well, coming on, like some sort of hurricane!”

He was surprised—another one—to hear her say “coming on”. Was that a forties thing? He was not aware that he’d ever used the expression.

“And I’m sorry,” she was saying. “I must be treating you… treating you, like a little boy! A little boy… who doesn’t know anything! And I really don’t mean to! Please believe me! Please believe that! But… don’t you see? There’s such… such a little boy quality, a waif-like quality… about you! You keep bringing out… God help me… my maternal instincts!” Her smile was completely without mirth. “That’s something… believe me… that ain’t never happened before.”

Her serious, deliberate, misuse of basic grammar—seemed to, at least, begin to disperse the ominous, lurking, cloud! From above both of their heads!

“I’m sorry,” he said, “if I…”

“No! It was my fault! But, in answer to your question… of what seems like two-and-a-half hours ago… I’m not tired, of ‘all this walkin’! I was trying, to advise you… as any good mother should . . . that the cost of buying an automobile is going up! Never figuring . . . that there might be, just the most remote of chances, that you’d be aware of that fact.”

“Actually, I should . . . probably… buy a car. I think I’ve got enough money saved up… to where I probably could buy one. But, I’m afraid that… if I do take off, on this crusade to launch my career in radio… I might be gonna need the financial cushion! To fall back on, y’know.”

“That’s good thinking!”

Why is that so surprising? So damn earthshaking? Obviously, he’d not shaken his inexplicable, his rather testy, mood! Not completely, anyway!

“I was thinking,” he hastened to add, “that I should possibly buy me a bicycle, though. This doesn’t sound like it would be very distinguished-looking… not real dignified, y’know… but, I could maybe ride you, on some of our dates. Ride you… on my bike! There’s that bar, don’tcha know, that runs from the seat… to the place, to where the handlebars come out!”

No WONDER she looks on you . . . as a little boy! That’s gotta be one of the most stupid . . . most boneheaded, most juvenile . . . ideas I could’ve come up with! Idiot!

“I can just visualize that,” she’d responded, grinning broadly. “With my fanny… hanging over that bar, it’d give you a real . . . an unimpeded . . . chance, to pat me, on the…”

“No! Really! I wouldn’t do that! I’d never do that!”

“Never… is a long time,” she replied, laughing—even more heartily. “Actually, I wouldn’t mind, at all,” she added. “And… in case you’ve never noticed… I’m not really all that interested, in dignified. But, I do have a bike, of my own! We could, maybe, ride… side-by-each… on our dates! I even have a bike lock! So, we could leave it… leave them . . . outside the movie. Or the restaurant, or wherever. I’d recommend that