The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance, Giulia Lagomarsino [acx book reading .txt] 📗

If it’s not the opera, it’s a musical. What man wants to sit through that shit? There are literally dudes jumping around in tights on stage and singing about love and all that crap. Is that really what you want to deal with? Because let me tell you, you can’t fuck your woman in the theater.”

“So, being a superhero is your distraction for going places you don’t like,” I said.

“One of them. It’s the answer to all of life’s questions, much like The Godfather. She says she’s bored and wants to go out to the theater. You suggest that you create your own theatrical play tonight. Something’s burning in the house? Superman to the rescue! I’m telling you, this is the key to the future.”

“If any of you ever find me in black tights,” Knight said, glaring at all of us, “you are to immediately put a bullet in my head and then burn the evidence.”

“Can we do that anyway?” Derek asked.

Knight shot him a look and then stood. “While this has been not at all entertaining, I have better shit to do.”

He went to leave just as an alarm on my phone sounded. It was for the house. I pulled up the information and my brows furrowed in concern.

“What is it?” Knight asked urgently.

I shot out of my chair and ran for the door. “Fire at my house.”

We all rushed out of the building, taking the fire pole down. It had been recently installed when we all realized that in an emergency, all the safety protocols made it impossible to get out. With an initial hand scan, all the bullet-proof plexiglass opened around the poles, allowing everyone to slide down.

I hopped in my truck, barely paying attention to who was with me as I skidded across the property to get to my wife and kids. Lucy was taking the day off today, so the kids were going to be with her.

I flung the door open to the house and immediately started coughing as thick smoke filled the air. The fire alarms were going crazy, making it impossible to hear anything else.

“Lucy!” I shouted, running through the house. I found her in the kitchen, spraying the fire extinguisher into the oven. When I saw that the flames were out, I picked her up and rushed out of the house. Derek and Knight had grabbed Rylee and Colt and were already outside. Alec was on the phone, probably talking with Cap and letting him know what was happening.

As I set Lucy down, my whole body started to shake as I thought of what might have happened. What if I hadn’t gotten there in time? Anger rushed through me, even though I wasn’t mad at her.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Excuse me?” she shot back. “You think this was my fault?”

“You had the oven open and you were spraying it with foam. Yeah, I would say this is your fucking fault.”

“Do you want to know why I had to spray foam in the oven?”

“Oh, I would love to hear this!” I said emphatically. “Another pot roast gone wrong? Oh, wait, maybe you were baking bread and it dripped out of the pan.”

She glared at me, her hands on her hips and marched back into the house.

“Where’s she going?” Alec asked.

I swallowed hard. “I don’t know, but I’ve seen that look before. It’s never a good one.”

He clapped me on the shoulder and squeezed. “We’ve all been there, man. Just ride it out. She can’t stay mad at you forever.”

Lucy came walking out of the house with an oven mitt on her hand, carrying something red. But as she got closer, I recognized what it was. I cleared my throat uncomfortably and looked away.

“Recognize this?”

“What is it?” Derek asked.

“This would be what remains of my Pyrex dish.”

“Why is it all red?” Knight asked.

“Because someone put it in the oven with the plastic lid still on!” she shouted.

“Who would do that?” Derek asked.

I felt Knight smack me upside the head and I winced. “You should have checked the oven first.”

“Really? That’s the argument you want to go with? I should have checked the oven?”

“I feel like this is a rhetorical question,” I muttered.

“Of course it is, because no idiot puts plastic in the oven!”

“Look, I didn’t know where it went, so I figured I would put it in there for storage, and then you would see it the next time you opened the oven.”

Alec snorted a laugh beside me. “You’re an idiot.”

“No,” I said firmly. “Most people check the oven first. They don’t just turn on the oven and walk away. It’s a thing.”

“It is not a thing,” Lucy snapped, “because usually when you’re done with the oven, all the dishes are removed from it. Why would I think Hmmm, I finished with all the dishes last night, but I should check the oven, just in case Hunter decided to stick something flammable in there?”

“Because I’m a guy!” I shouted. “Isn’t that reason enough for you to use some common sense?”

I heard Derek hiss and then suddenly, I was all alone with Lucy. I could see the guys retreating, taking my kids with them. I didn’t even have them for protection.

“I should have common sense?” she said in a deadly calm that sent shivers down my spine.

I swallowed hard and took a step back. “Now, let’s just be calm and rational about this. I’ll admit that sticking plastic in the oven was not the…smartest thing to do, but you have to admit, you should have checked inside first.”

Her eyes narrowed at me and she took another deadly step. “How about this? I’ll admit that I married an idiot that should know better than to put plastic in the oven, and you can clean out the plastic that dripped on the bottom of the oven, and then deep clean it for me.”

She shoved the burnt Pyrex at me and stormed back into the house. I felt like I had just gotten off really easy. There was no