Heart-On: Turf Wars #2, Bella Jewel [ebook reader screen txt] 📗

soft. My cheeks burn, but I say nothing. I attempt to kiss his neck, his mouth and anything to help him rise to the occasion but nothing happens. He’s flat, deflated, dead, gone. There is no coming back from this. What was a raging boner is now a flaccid sausage.

“It’s okay,” I say, climbing off and getting back into my seat. “Maybe we were rushing.”

“This has never happened to me before, I’m so sorry.”

Well, that makes me feel good.

“It’s not you,” he assures, still stroking, trying to make it go hard again.

“It’s okay, really. Let’s just go home.”

He looks at me, clearly embarrassed, and puts his business back in his pants before staring straight ahead. I feel bad for him now.

“Hey,” I say, reaching over and squeezing his hand. “It’s okay, honestly it is. I had a really great time.”

God.

Why am I such a liar?

Why?

“Are you certain?” he asks, glancing at me.

“Of course, we should do it again.”

This makes him happy, but it makes me deflate a little inside. I have to have another date with him now, I just have to. It would be wrong not to.

God.

Why do I always open my big mouth before thinking?

I exhale and face the window, my body needing a whole lot more than it just got.

My heart needing a tiny bit of reassurance.

Am I not attractive?

Is Adan right?

Have I lost my edge?

“OUCH, YOU’RE FUCKIN’ hurting me, Ramona.”

Adan’s growl is low and deep as he jerks his hand away from me as I’m angrily trying to change the bandage later that night. The nurse who covered for me did it wrong, because she was too busy making heart eyes at Adan to worry about doing her job correctly, so now I have to change it before he can go to bed.

“If that moron did her job properly instead of thinking about how your dick would feel inside of her, I wouldn’t have this problem,” I growl through clenched teeth as I finish wrapping his hand.

“What the fuck is up your ass? Doctor didn’t give it to you like he should?”

I say nothing.

No point in trying to deny it, it’ll only make me look like an idiot.

“Oh, he fuckin’ didn’t, did he?”

“Shut the hell up, Adan. I can’t deal with you right now.”

I’m trying to clip the bandage on, but god I’m frustrated. Sexually and, well, otherwise. I’m feeling hurt, a little, because that’s never happened to me before. Maybe he sensed I wasn’t impressed, and maybe I was a little too forward. I shouldn’t have just thrown his hand on my business, maybe I could have been a little more lady like.

“Couldn’t the doc make you cum,” Adan murmurs and my frustration turns into rage and a little bit of lust because right now I’m wound up so tight I could very easily take Adan up on his offers, but that would mean I lose, and I’m not doing that.

“He couldn’t get it up, Adan. Are you happy now? You’re not the only fucking man to find me unattractive. Does that make you feeling fucking fab?”

I spin around after clipping his bandage on and walk off without another word. I’m not going to lie, there are tears burning under my eyelids, and I’m not sure why. I’m not familiar with this emotion, the one that makes me feel worthless and ugly. I know it stems from deep, so damned deep, but knowing that, for whatever reason, Daniel couldn’t function tonight, makes me feel like it’s on me. Even though deep down I know it isn’t.

I clench my jaw to stop the tears and walk into my room, slamming the door. I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the floor, trying as hard as I possibly can to hold back my tears. What happened tonight shouldn’t be bothering me like it is, and I need to toughen up. Perhaps it’s Adan’s comments alongside of the events of the evening that have managed to get to me.

My door opens, and I look up to see Adan striding in. He doesn’t stop, or say anything, he just walks over to me and orders me to stand up. I do, confused as hell. Before I can ask what he wants, he leans in and he kisses me.

It’s the most unique and powerful kiss I’ve ever had in my life. Mostly because we’re not touching each other, at all. His bound hands don’t have the ability to roam so he’s connected to me by mouth alone. But the kiss, oh the kiss, it’s deep. There are no tongues, and yet it’s the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had. It’s just lips moving together in the most incredible way, making every inch of my body come alive.

It’s the kind of kiss I prayed for with Daniel.

Adan pulls back and his eyes fixate on mine. “You’re fuckin’ beautiful. Don’t let a man’s cock decide that for you.”

My lips part slightly.

Adan turns and walks to the door, looking back at me. “Oh, and don’t go thinkin’ that you’ve won, either. My dick still isn’t comin’ to the party, but it’s purely determination now. Got nothin’ to do with how beautiful you are. I’m just winning this bet.”

I grin.

He grins.

Then he leaves.

Well then.

My night just took quite the turn.

5

“What’s up with you?”

I look to Adan as I flop down beside him on the couch later that night, well, it must be early morning. Maybe two.

“Can’t sleep,” I answer. “What’s up with you?”

“Same.”

“Are you in pain?”

“Nah.”

We both fall silent as I grip my mug of tea.

“You want tea?” I ask.

“Fuck no. I’d rather lick the floor.”

I laugh. “Jesus, it’s not that bad.”

“I’m sure it’s not, but I’m a man. I don’t drink fuckin’ tea.”

“Okay, would you like a beer?”

He grunts. “It’s two am.”

“You’re right, it is. Want to talk about why you can’t sleep?”

“No.”

“Want to talk about anything?”

“No.”

I laugh, and I see his lips twitch with a grin. I cross my legs and sip my tea, praying