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disordered one that I found, disordered by him, as I later discovered.’

‘Your point being?’

‘My point being that the one you left was the one he found. But he found an ordered scene—nothing out of place, just Hayden dead on the floor. He messed it up so that it looked like a struggle or an accident, a robbery gone wrong or something. He probably didn’t know exactly what he was trying to do, he just wanted to make it look like something it wasn’t.’

‘Bonnie,’ said Sonia, softly, ‘dear Bonnie, you’ll go mad, turning it all over and over in your head. Let it go.’

‘No. Listen. Nothing was thrown around or broken at that stage. But you said it was. You did, Sonia. I can hear your words in my head. I’ve been going over and over them. You said you went to tell him to lay off me and it all turned ugly, and he lashed out and things got broken and you picked up the nearest object to hand. That’s what you said.’

‘And that’s what happened. He came on to me and I panicked and—well, that’s how it all went wrong.’

‘Yet everything was in place when Neal arrived a few minutes later. He arrived at an orderly scene—a scene where no struggle had taken place.’

‘Perhaps he got it wrong, perhaps I did. For God’s sake, Bonnie, I was in a state of shock. A man was dead. Maybe I didn’t remember everything clearly.’

‘That doesn’t sound like you, Sonia.’

‘I’m sorry if I didn’t behave with total calm and logic. I don’t think any of us did.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘You left the flat in good order. You killed him, certainly you did, but not the way you described.’

‘I don’t know what you’re trying to say.’

‘That was the other funny thing,’ I said. ‘Once you realized I’d done it to protect Neal, and Neal had done it to protect me, you knew we’d protect you. Why didn’t you tell us? You’re a logical person, Sonia. It was the logical thing to do.’

‘I wasn’t thinking logically,’ Sonia said.

‘You always think logically,’ I said. ‘That set me wondering. I tried to work out whether there was any connection between you and Hayden apart from me and that crap about going to see him because he’d knocked me around.’

‘Bonnie, how can you say that?’

‘And I did. Do you remember that party we all went to after we’d played at that post-exam party?’

She didn’t reply.

‘Of course you do. You and Amos and me and Neal and Hayden went. There was a woman there who used to know you. She’s called Miriam Sylvester.’

‘Miriam Sylvester?’ Sonia said the name slowly, separating it out into its syllables. She shook her head. ‘No,’ she said.

‘Oh, come, Sonia. Surely you remember. You taught together, after all, in your last job.’

‘Oh, her. Yes, I do remember. It was hearing her name out of context that threw me.’

‘I went to see her today.’

She got up and started to fill the kettle, speaking with her back to me. ‘Why? Was she a friend of Hayden’s?’

‘Yes. We talked about him. She was upset. Well, women loved Hayden, didn’t they, for all his faults? Except you.’

‘I wasn’t so fond of him,’ said Sonia. ‘A bully who beat up his girlfriend.’

‘You didn’t know that, though, did you?’

‘Sorry?’

‘I don’t think you actually knew he hit me until after he’d died. I don’t think you realized we were together at all.’

‘Of course I knew. I told you. That’s why I went round there.’

‘You told me you went round there to warn him against ever being violent only after you discovered from me that he’d hit me. When it was a convenient excuse for you to grab onto. You didn’t know before. That wasn’t why you went round there, was it? Answer me. Tell me what I already know.’

‘Answer what? You’re not making sense.’ Her voice was icy.

‘I remembered meeting Miriam Sylvester at the party and I remembered that she didn’t seem to like you very much. So I took the train up to Sheffield to ask her about it. She’s got nothing against your teaching.’

Sonia put the kettle down without switching it on. She came and sat down. Her eyes looked very dark and her face very white.

‘You suddenly had to leave your school and come to London.’

‘I left,’ she said. ‘So?’

‘She told me about a boy called Robbie, who died, and the whole school raised money for a charity in his name.’

‘Get on with what you’re saying, then,’ she said, so calm. Her hands were quite steady.

‘You stole the charity money.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘Money raised because a thirteen-year-old boy died and the school wanted to do something in his memory. They had sponsored silences and went on three-legged walks and washed cars. And you used it for a down-payment on rather a nice flat.’

‘Miriam Sylvester has given you a complete misrepresentation of what happened.’

‘No wonder you live in this grotty dump and have no money. You’re still paying off your debt, aren’t you?’

I had to hand it to her. She was still utterly composed.

‘Bonnie,’ she said. ‘Think about it. What she told you doesn’t make sense. There was a dispute about the use of some school funds. It turned ugly. Anyone who actually stole money like that would be arrested and sent to prison. You’re making a terrible mistake. You’ve been under such stress, I know that.’

‘Oh, save it, Sonia. You’ve lied to me enough. Miriam explained all this. They didn’t want to bring the police in and drag the school through a tribunal and get all the disastrous publicity. Miriam told me about the admission you signed, about paying the money back, about how you left. Are you still going to brazen it out?’

‘I think you should go.’

‘You had contempt for someone like Hayden. He wasn’t a saint, but he would never have done something like that.’

‘You really did have a crush on him, didn’t you?’

I could feel my rage and my grief rise, almost blocking my throat, so

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