The Road to Rose Bend, Naima Simone [jenna bush book club .TXT] 📗

For giving Sydney my name when it should’ve only been Tonia’s. For wanting to move on with her. I don’t deserve that, Moe. Not when Tonia’s not here. I don’t fucking deserve that,” he roared, his fist slamming down onto the table. “I don’t—”

His voice broke on the sob that took him by surprise. And he couldn’t speak past the next one. Or the one after that. Through the hoarse, agony-filled wails crashing against his skull, he dimly realized they weren’t all in his head. They burst out of him, leaving him shattered.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Familiar arms enclosed him, surrounding him in love, comfort and strength. “Let it all out, baby. Let it all go,” she soothed. “I’ve got you.”

She did. She rocked him as she’d done when he was a boy, and in her embrace, he finally emptied himself of the grief and pain that had been festering inside him for two long years. Where it would leave him once it was done, he didn’t know.

But for once, he wasn’t terrified to find out.

THE MORNING AFTER he broke down in his mother’s kitchen, Cole stood on the curb outside his old home with Tonia. Most of the neighborhood still slept as the sun crested the horizon, the sky still clutching to the remnants of violet and gray. But he welcomed the quiet. It was appropriate that he was doing this at the dawn of a new day.

He was starting over.

He was letting go.

He was choosing to love.

Inhaling a deep breath, he released it on a shaky gust. Moe had insisted he stay with family last night, so he’d slept in his and Wolf’s old bedroom on the family’s floor. Sleep had eluded him again, but this time, instead of running his last conversation with Sydney over and over like a depressing reel, he rewound and hit play on all the moments they’d shared since her return to Rose Bend.

Seeing her for the first time on the hill behind the church.

Helping her move into the cottage.

Feeling the baby move for the first time.

Holding her hand as they gazed at the ultrasound monitor and discovered she was having a little girl.

Seeing her stand up at the council meeting and offer to write the grant so he could see his dream of the community center come to fruition.

Vowing to love, honor and cherish her in The Glen.

Making love to her for the first time. The last time.

Somewhere in all of those moments, he’d fallen so deeply in love with her that it’d caused him to distance himself, to react out of fear and push her away. He could admit that now. And without the panic that had gripped him when Sydney had uttered those words to him or the denial when Moe had pointed it out.

During those long hours, he forgave himself—well, he’d started the process. Because it would be a process. Every day, he would have to wake up and decide to forgive himself and accept that the God he’d believed had abandoned him had offered him a wonderful, miraculous gift—a second chance with a beautiful, kind, selfless woman and a child that he could raise, nurture and love as his own.

And deep in his heart, he knew Tonia would not just approve but be happy for him.

Had his guilt disappeared? No, but that would take time, too. Still... It didn’t crush him or taint his every joy.

He was stepping into the future with Sydney. If she would have him. But begging for her forgiveness and for her to return to him would have to wait.

Because right now, he had a house to clean out.

Sighing, he turned around and strode toward the rear of his truck where he’d stowed a stack of flattened boxes and a bag full of tape and markers. Lowering the tailgate, he reached for them but paused as headlights—several pairs of them—cut through the quickly vanishing shadows.

Stepping away from the truck, he stared, stunned, as four vehicles pulled up behind him. After several seconds, the engines cut, and people streamed out of them.

Moe. Dad. Wolf. Leo, the rest of his siblings.

Valeria and Ramon.

He blinked, battling back the sting of tears. Jesus Christ, hadn’t he done enough of that in the last twenty-four hours?

Awe and love filled his chest to capacity and beyond it. They all approached and gathered around him, surrounding him in a semicircle of love, support and encouragement.

“How—” He cleared his throat of the emotion clogging it. “How did you know?”

“You’re my son,” came Moe’s reply.

And that said it all.

Smiling, he nodded. “Well, let’s get started then.”

Started on packing up the house.

Started on his new beginning.

Started on a future with the woman and child he loved.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“ALL DONE, SYDNEY,” Dr. Prioleau said, wiping the last of the gel away from Sydney’s stomach. “You can sit up now.”

The ever-stylish doctor—sporting a burnt-orange one-piece jumpsuit today with leopard-print peep-toe pumps and dark brown lipstick—crossed the room to pick up her tablet and toss the tissue.

“Y’know, Dr. Prioleau, if I wasn’t comfortable in my stretch-marked skin, then coming in here every month to see you giving Mahogany Diana Ross a run for her money would really screw with my equilibrium,” she teased.

The other woman flashed her a wide grin. “Well that’s sweet of you,” she said. “No wonder you’re my favorite patient. But let’s keep that here, okay?”

Sydney snickered, sitting up and lowering her tank top, then retying the shoulder straps of her dress. “Sure, Doc. It’ll be our little secret.”

The doctor shook her head, chuckling. “Any questions for me, Sydney? Concerns?”

“No, except for the little bit of heartburn I told you about, I’m good.” Sydney patted her stomach. “Jellybean’s super active, and sometimes that’s a little ‘girl, please!’ at one o’clock in the morning, but I’m guessing it’s normal.”

“Jellybean, huh?” The doctor’s mouth quirked. “I should mention now’s the time to start thinking of names, too.”

“I’ve already been working on that.” Sydney grinned.

“Good. If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to call me,