The Girl in the Scrapbook, Carolyn Ruffles [iphone ebook reader .TXT] 📗

adoption would be the best option for the baby. She began to wonder if she was being selfish, wanting to keep the baby; after all, what could she offer, apart from her love? Wayne agreed with the social worker and added his voice to the argument. In the end, they wore her down – it was as simple as that. It would be a struggle to bring up a baby and not fair to the child. The paperwork was filled in and, after a few, last, agonising moments of doubt, completed with her signature.

Once the decision was made, Grace felt content. She was doing the right thing.

◆◆◆

Her baby was born on June 1st, a beautiful girl weighing 7lbs 8oz. Exhausted but ecstatic, Grace cradled her baby in her arms. No one had told her she would feel like this, that she would immediately fall in love with her daughter. She was so perfect in every way.

Wayne had called into the hospital to see her. ‘She’s a real looker. Thank God she takes after her mum and not her dad!’

‘Have you held your baby yet?’ one of the nurses asked him in passing. ‘Go on, she won’t bite.’

‘Oh, I’m not the ...’ He grinned at her mistake but she had already moved on. ‘When are the … you know?’ He looked searchingly at Grace.

She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. It’ll be soon, they said. I’ve got a small bag of things to go with her and I’ve written her a letter, for when she’s old enough to read it.’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh Wayne, I don’t know if I can bear to let her go!’

‘You must,’ he said gently. ‘It’s for the best. Anyway, you’ve signed all the papers so there’s no going back now.’

Later, she did not know how she got through it, how she was able to give her daughter one final kiss and hand her over to a middle-aged woman with pink framed glasses and short, spiky, bright red hair. ‘She’s called Emily,’ she had fretted. ‘She’s just had a feed. Don’t forget the bag of things to go with her.’

‘We’ll take good care of her until she goes to her new home. We have some lovely people lined up. You’re doing the right thing.’

Why did people keep saying that when suddenly it all seemed wrong?

‘Can I just …?’ She reached out tentatively.

‘No, sorry. We need to get going. The traffic’s terrible at this time of the day.’ With a final apologetic look, the woman carried her baby off the ward and Grace learnt truly what it meant to have a broken heart.

◆◆◆

Chapter 28

Emily – January 2017

Emily turned her mini once more into the village of Corriton eager with anticipation. She had so many questions buzzing through her brain. Yesterday had been tricky. Once they had established that this Susan was Iris’ daughter, there had been no real opportunity to probe further and, whilst Jennifer now had some answers, she had left feeling slightly empty, still wondering and hoping.

However, she had a feeling of momentousness about this journey this morning, a strong sense that something was going to happen. Everything was finally going to fall into place and maybe, just maybe, she would find a way to meet her real mum. The yearning had become a constant ache in her chest.

She and Jennifer had talked long into the night, reflecting on the day’s events, still reeling from the revelations contained within Iris’ letter. It had been such a shock for Jennifer to discover blood relatives of whom she had no knowledge. For such a long time, since the deaths of her mother and later her father, she had been cut adrift from family ties and had learnt to be totally self-contained and self-reliant. Her friends had always been her family, she told Emily.

‘Now I’m not really sure what to feel,’ she admitted. ‘I’m not sure I want to be part of a family I don’t know. My life was fine as it was.’ Then she had smiled ruefully. ‘Actually, that’s not true. Ever since giving up teaching, I’ve been searching for something but I didn’t know what it was. I thought a fresh challenge would be the answer. Doing up the cottage and setting up a business have been rewarding but they haven’t stopped me from feeling lonely. Maybe that’s what I’ve always wanted all along – family.’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘So why am I feeling so …’ She struggled to find the right word, ‘… strange about it all?’

‘I think you’ll just have to take things one step at a time,’ Emily had said. ‘I know what you mean. After all, you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. You’ll just have to wait and see how things between you develop. It may be that you become close but equally, you might both decide you would prefer to keep a distance between you. Who knows? It is exciting though, isn’t it? And Susan did seem lovely, although we didn’t really get to talk to her. Poor woman. It must have been a terrible shock to find out that her mother had another child.’

Jennifer had nodded slowly. ‘You’re right. I think I need a bit of time to get used to all this and she must feel the same.’

Molly had drifted in and out of the living room throughout the early part of the evening, a serene smile on her pale face. It was another sign that she was getting close, Emily thought. So often, Molly mooched around or sat looking so despairing that Emily could feel her sadness as a tangible thing, heavy and oppressive. It weighed on her as guilt that she had not done more to trace her past and discover the root of Molly’s angst. She had said as much to Jennifer.

‘Perhaps after tomorrow, if we can finally find out about your mother and maybe even reunite you, she will be free to