Life Is Full of Emotions, Abby C. [crime books to read TXT] 📗

/> Only to have you rip me right back in

Trying so hard to be perfect for you
Reaching for the perfection you have set up
Always just a fingertip away from succeeding

Ashamed that I’m not what you wanted
Covering up old scars and fresh cuts
The burning in my eyes never seems to stop

Trying never to show weakness with emotions
Knowing you’ll just get mad

The more I try to make you proud
The more of a failure I have become in your eyes
Can’t you accept me for me?

Sitting alone in my room
Knowing I’m worthless
Knowing I will not be missed in your eyes
Just another mistake to add to you exceedingly long list

Blade glistening in the tiny strip of moonlight
Body tingling with anticipation of what’s to come next
My mind screaming at me to put it down

What’s one more cut?

If I die,
I’ll leave my personal hell
For something more familiar

Maybe when I’m gone you’ll realize
I was perfection the entire time
You were to blind to see me

I’m Sorry Did I do that?

I’m sorry did my face get in the way of your fist?
God maybe I should be more careful

I’m so sorry did my blood stain your clothes?
My bad
Ill try harder next time to aim my blood away from you

Must hurt your eyes to look at me and see what you have done
The marks you have left
The hate and destruction you see in my eyes

I bet it boils your blood to see that after so many years
I can still look into your eyes
Smile a bitter smile
And say
Hit me bitch

How dare I not bow down before you
How dare I not kiss the floor you walk on
Don't you wish I would just kiss your ass?

Your hits strike harder
You words sharper
Must be driving you crazy to realize
Your losing control of me

I’m so sorry
But I don't love you anymore
Yes, you are my mother
Doesn't mean I need to respect you

Why should I respect someone who is lower then dirt
Or the air I breathe
Someone who scared being left alone

You blood runs through my body
I wish I could cut my wrist
And drain what is you out of me

You gave birth to me
I never asked for a mother like you
No one does

You're the worst type of abuser
Made me feel like I could come to you about everything
To pore my heart out to you
Never lie to you

And now you throw it in my face
Making fun of my failures
Pointing out all my wrongs

Thanks for making me want to live
I’ll make sure to write you a thank you card
For making me feel like a perfect failure

What is it that makes you think the best way to raise us is in fear?
Is it because your daddy used to shake you like a rag doll?
No wonder you picked my father as the father of your children

I can still feel the sting of every hand you have laid on me
I can feel the words you threw in my face cutting deeper into my skin
Then the last

Must make you see red to know I found happiness with a man
Someone who shows me what its like to be treated right
Someone to take me out and whisper in MY ear
“Anything and Everything”

In his eyes and heart
He gives me the world
The moon
And every star in the sky

I love the fact that you try to shut me down
Telling me he just wants a young fuck
To rip my virginity from me

Sucks for you
Because that's long gone

I have made love with this man
And guess what mommy dearest
He’s still by my side
Like my night and shining armor

Must be a scary thought
To die alone
Because you’re to bitter to get a man
I know I won’t be alone mommy
So I can’t image what that fear feel likes
So sorry that the other side of your bed lays cold
I’m sure your blaming that on me

The months tick by
My hope growing strong
As your biter angry hate for me grows stronger

The weeks fly by
Making me stronger
Ready to fight back
Daring you with my eyes
You growing weaker in my eyes

The hours move in a blink of an eye
I’m cutting the ropes
You remember the ropes?

The ones you put on me to hold me back
To choke my childhood from my lungs
To make me bleed till only hate and anger were left of me

You should be a shamed of what you turned me into
You have made it impossible for me to ever truly be open with someone
To show my feelings without fear of being beaten or shoved away like trash

Well I’m sorry mommy
I know,
I know I’m a little shit
You don't have to tell me twice

But guess what bitch?
I’m eighteen years of age
You have lost
I have won

I’m free.

Lets pray my brother gets away from you before you destroy him
Like you did me,
But it already looks to late

Imprint

Publication Date: 09-26-2011

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
These are just a few of the free style poetry i right.