Creative Snapshots, Lady Adellandra Dratianos [read along books .TXT] 📗

flower dead on stone
I hate what I am inside
As much as I try to hide
Inside is where the heart is torn
Inside is where hate is born
Bred from the heathen hells of the deep
Inside in the darkness
Deep inside my sleep
The nightmares abound me
No one makes a sound around me
Afraid of what I'll do to bind them
Afraid of what I'll do to remind them
Remind them of what I am
Who I am or will become
Deep beneath, inside
Confusion, questions
No answers will suffice
Deep inside is where
I will always pay the price.
Bringing the feelings out from within
Will destroy me
Will haunt me
Will remind me
Of what I have become within
A terror, a horror, a hellion, a scout
Scouting the night for freedom,
Will no one let me out
Give me rhyme, if no reason
Give me help, if no season
Give me faith, if no time
Give me asylum, if no crime
No reason for the inside
No rhyme for my time
Inside the bottle where nothing is there
Deep, down, empty bare.
I am void of feeling
I am strong to hold
Onto my inner emotions,
Until I near explode.
When the inside wants outside
There is no where to hide
Everywhere I am, there I shall hide
Facing my own inner reality
Inside my own insanity
Is there any reason for me
To be the one I want to be
Inside I'm different
Confused abused and used
Outside I am tough,
Easily amused
Sarcasm is my sanity
Laughter are my pills
Anger taken out on others
Hurts the inner wills
Inside.

Life...Not Life
By: Adella DragonStar

Compare me to your fantasy
Help me with reality
Please me with your breath
Impress me with life.

Compare me to your darkened fears
Help me with my growing years
Hurt me, I can take it
Hate me with your death

Tell me I'm yours
Willing to be true
Inside me lies confusion
Deep beneath the view

Life....not life
What a choice?
Hear the bells ring,
angels harmony?
See your soul deteriorate?
Love not love
Hate...not hate
Death not death
Life...not life.

The time is drawing to a close
Its time to choose
Your soul confused
Make a choice
Decisions lie within you
Death, not death
Life...not life


The Man or the Memory
By: Adella DragonStar

How I dream late at night, of arms holding me tight
How a love so sweet could have me off my feet
How a simple glance of Magic would be all it took
Wait, am I dreaming, a man from a book?
I met such a perfect man in real life
Who cared for me and asked me to be his wife
He's been away for so long now,
I miss him dearly, anyhow
But what do I miss,
His touch, his kiss?
The smile that set me free?
Am I missing the man or the memory?

A Memory is all I have to hold on to.
It takes me there, when I was unaware,
Of a love so true
The Man I love is far and beyond
The strangest thing to me
But am I missing the Man or the Memory?

Pages of a novel, opened up and said
The Romantic scenes I read are there inside my head
It reminds me of better times, when all I had was him
Pretending was one thing I swore I'd never do again
I still dream late at night, of his arms holding me tight
Of his kisses so strong and felt passionately
Will I see him again? When I wonder when? Will he ever be
More than a Man in my Memory?

A Memory is all I have to hold on to.
It takes me there, when I was unaware,
Of a love so true
The Man I love is far and beyond
The strangest thing to me
But am I missing the Man or the Memory?

We'll be together someday I know
But until then, I'll learn and grow
Be better then than I am now
Does it really matter, anyhow?
It matters to me, but what about
The Man in my Memory?

The Mirror
By: Adella DragonStar

In the mirror, there's a girl
Who doesn't know who she wants to be
In the mirror, there's a face
Who doesn't really want to be seen
The reflection of realism
Is it real or am I seeking fate
Is it something I depend on
Now or then, or am I too late

Can you see the tears in my eyes
Can you sense sadness that I portray
Can you feel your heart wrench when I come near you
Do you like the way
Do you like the way
Do you like the way I am

I hope you see me for who I am inside
And not for me without
Hope you believe in miracles with no
Shadows of doubt
I ask myself, do I belong
Am I right, or am I wrong
Am I dreaming or awake
Can I take it, I can't take it

In the mirror there's a girl
Who doesn't know who she wants to be
In the mirror, I see the girl
So different from I want to see
It's not me
I'm not me
In my mind, I'm someone else
In my mind, I am perfectly free
In the mirror, reflection crashes
All the thoughts of who I see
And what I see
In the mirror there's a girl
who doesn't really want to be seen
In my mind, another face
Another place
The beauty and the serene

Alas at the end, a boring life
A normal world, a normal girl
Alas, my love, to see no more,
But the light of the greatest door
This is the end
There is no more
No more mirrors, no more screaming
No more pretending, no more grieving
I am free
I am free
I am me.


The Mirror's Image
By: Adella DragonStar

The mirror's view is tainted
Distorted and confused
The mirror's image is depressing
When the other self is abused

The tears of other's pain
Run down the mirror's face
The reflection is of sorrow
And happiness lost to the face

Deep within the mirror
Perfection is shattered
Feelings deep within the eyes
Disappear as if they hadn't mattered

Close the eyes of hatred
A tear drop runs down the face
The mind blanks for a moment
Escaping to another place

A place filled with laughter
A place filled with fun
Smiles abound, a music sounds
Freedom has begun with one

To opened saddened eyes
Would be harmful
A painful reminder of the hell
Open the eyes and the reflection
Of pain is easy to tell

Death is the reflection
An option not meant to be
Deep inside the image
A painful reminder of
Who and what is me.

Music
By: Adella DragonStar

Music soothes the troubled soul,
No matter how hurt
No matter how much pain it endures.
Music is an inspirational tool,
Healing the heart, as well as the mind.
No matter how deep the wound,
No matter how long
Music calms the savage beast within
The mood of the melody,
The very thought of its rhythm warms the body.
Open heart and open mind,
Open soul and spirit.
Music can turn the most terrifying of people,
Transforming their entire being inside out.
Closed eyes, opened minds united to witness
The very essence of its power.
Music works miracles.
It changes unfaithful and helps them believe.
Its very words, melodies, calming
Its very notes of tunes brings images to the mind
Leading the listener to a message
True to the spirit, the mind, heart, and soul.
Music takes control of life itself.
What else can put beasts into a trance in seconds?
What else can heal the wounded mind of a troubled soul?
What else can bring us to tears than a song,
Reminding us of a once cherished, momentous memory?
There is nothing more powerful in its very mention,
Nothing more determined and demanding,
Nothing like it in the world.
Melodious, Undying, Sensuous, Inspirational, and Calming.
Music.

Nothing
I am Nothing, for you do not see me
I am Nothing, if not me
Havens and Hell, and the heart as well
But Nothing am I without friends by me

I am Nothing now, they're gone from me
Better to push them away than for them to see
They may think they know, but fail to though
They can't see through the hurt in me

I am Nothing, no one is there,
I am Nothing, for nobody cares
They think they do what's best for me
by leaving my side and ceasing to be
But they hurt me more than ever can be

Sure I've done stupid things,
Sure I've said things dumber
But to take yourself from me is to harm
For Friendships belong safe and warm
Through thick and the thin.

I am Nothing, if not Free
I am Nothing, if not ME
That's all I ever can HOPE to be
Try to take THAT away from me!

Sure, I've hurt you, but you must understand the reasons
Sure, I Feel your pain, though the changing of seasons
I have loved and lost, and paid the costs
But to not see through my eyes, you are Nothing to me.

I do not Hate
I do not Loathe
I save those things for the trove
I Love, I lose and Love again,
You're not the only ones in my life again

You come and go, but I always know better
I Always just Know.
You say you're my friends, but you don't truely SEE
My heart is wide open for thee

But I digress with my pained thoughts
With or Without, I am or I'm naught.
Shall I go on, or do you truly SEE?
Better to loved and lost than to never have loved at all -- not me.

Me?
I am still Nothing

Nightfall
By: Adella DragonStar

Dreams –– awaken me
When they become NIGHTMARES
Hopes —— falter
When times get tough
Feelings –– hurt
When tears begin to Fall

Hearts —— Broken
When we hate most of all
At Nightfall –– everything changes

While we stay the same
Night after Nightfall,
Our daily troubles fade away

Prayer for the Lord and Lady
By: Adella DragonStar

To my Lord and to my Lady
Of the Lunar star above
Send me hope and send me strength
Knowledge and Perfect love
Send me truth and send me peace
And gentle signs from above
That you are listening to my words
To fill my heart with your love
Send me guides to light the way
When I forget who I am,
Send me truth when I am among lies,
And sweet memories when I’’m in a jam.
Send to me the sweetest dreams
In the nights that are most bleak
And send to me your words of hope
That strengthen me when I'm weak
Help me see what I'm meant to be
Teach me and guide the way
Show me the path that's rightfully mine
Take my hand and heart each day
I pray to thee and ask of thee
To send me my desires
Connect the circle of Air
To Winds to Earth, Spirit and Fires
Mother Goddess and Horned God
Who watch over me from above
Grant of all to me my wishes
And don't forget the love.

Raindrops
By: Adella DragonStar

You are like Raindrops,
Refreshing to the garden flowers
And quenching my thirst and desires.

You wet my creativity,
Refresh my mind,