Transition Into..., A.J. Macabre [classic novels TXT] 📗

majority i dont want to know,
All the things ive done,
Things i have not shown,
I could break anothers heart,
With the things ive done.

There are memories i have that i dont want,
God or bealzebub,
Take these thoughts from me,
The agony.

I have memories that are not there,
I apologise,
But i tend to forget,
My vices hinder me,
But everyone has them,
So i've seen.

These memories that i have left,
The ones that killed what little humanity i had left inside,
What i've endured,
I apologise,
History preseeds future,
Experience overrides my ability to fall all the way into the present,
Though i've tried.

I have memories both now and never,
I reach a limit and i start to turn away,
I apologise,
That i am lost in a stasis that i cant shake.

I cant take any more noise in my head,
Put this feeling to an end,
I'm lying when i say that i'm fine,
When my eyes seem far away,
I'm not there,
I'm somewhere else,
All of these distractions clogging up my mind,
I'm lying all the time.

My shadow,
Fragmented,
Shows the pieces,
That i am in.

Thrashed from,
Dashed out,
Whats the secret?
I'm erased.

The pain is too much,
The wound is too deep,
The scars are still fresh,
And i cant even think...
Salvation is unreached.


The Way of Always


My mouth fills with words,
I taste sweet on my tongue,
Like water tastes on Ecstacy,
What I say is strange,
An unlikeness to me.

What have I learned?
Nothing I can fix.
Serindipidous,
Stupendous illusion,
Trying to sort life through blurry eyes.

What do I need?
The last thing that I felt?
Is it enough?
Don't want to be consumed,
Don't look for me.

If you look and cannot find me,
Its because I am not there,
If you look and cannot find me,
Its because I am in hiding,
I've slipped into the cracks,
In between the walls,
I dont want to be found,
Dont come in search of me.

I hear you through photographs,
I see the faults,
A faux pas that was taken,
An edge that was leapt from.

Sometime is a time,
That I dont have time for,
Sometimes I just want to walk away,
Down the road where I can see ahead,
Away from the treibidation this life has caused.

I try to explain,
My words break,
But the thought still lingers in the gray space,
Bounces side to side.

The walls will come craumbling down,
The cracks will shift,
I'll be trapped underneath the streets,
Trapped in my own prison,
Of brick and graffitti,
Of mice,
And worms.

No matter how I try to hide,
And bury it down inside,
I'm only coming up with hand fulls of dirt,
I asperate,
With cynical delay.

I'll have to find another world,
One that my mind can bare,
That I can face,
With some kind of certianty,
Needless to say,
But said anyway,
The promises you make,
Are always sure to break.


God of Broken Wings


In the white desert,
There is a cold heat,
The sky isnt blue,
But white as snow,
Frozen time, Frozen there.
Something I was supposed to remember,
Something important,
Something close,
Not to forget.


Stop the world from spinning,
Stop digging holes,
Eyes turned up now to the skies,
To icy heavens,
And unremembered things that were before.


I had a dream of flying,
Then you showed me your wings.
A greek myth,
That makes me fly higer.


I think i'm falling,
Not falling down,
Not falling out,
Not falling off,
I think I'm falling in,
I think I'm falling for...


Take my hand and lead me to the desert,
With silver lining and salty core.
Enthrall my passion,
Leave waning moons in my eyes,
With sparkling stars,
Right beside them.


I think I'm falling,
Not falling down,
Not falling out,
Not falling off,
I think I'm falling in,
I think I'm falling for...


When I've got no ground to stand on,
There you are.
I hear the voice of reason,
Are you angel or demon?
Embrassing progress,
Foolishness,
And every kiss.

A fog thats lifting.

This paradoxal encounter...
Dream that haunts me.

Your mythology.


Blueprints


It's ten till tomorrow,
Last night remixed into a great new hit,
Swallow down the bad,
Make it better than it was before,
Spit it out,
It'll be quick,
Take another dose,
Down another pill,
Slid down with liquid courage,
Hesitation,
Smoke another cigarette.

Total laundry mix,
My life makes little sense,
Fast paced when it should be slow,
Slow when I just want it to go,
Calligraphy of flaw,
And a constant state of having to explain myself.
Dont tell me...
It's all meaningless.

After scars heal to symmetry,
After forever,
After all,
All the decisions that you make,
You've already made,
Your contemplation,
Is just you,
Fighting with yourself.

Fill in the empty,
Woe of mundane,
Days of mistrust,
And question why...
When someone new invades your dreams,
Self realization,
Light this dark way,
I'm lost and i cant find the wall,
To guide myself along.

Up to my wings in weird,
But halo still tethered on,
Watching stars fall,
With greek gods. Imprint

Text: All materials copyright of Alyssa O'neill.
Publication Date: 01-16-2010

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This book is for getting over mistakes made time and time again, and finally putting them behind me. And for Icarus. For moving heaven and earth, to force me to feel like I never thought I would again. Thank you doesnt even come close to being enough. I love you, babe.