How to Analyze People on Sight, Elsie Lincoln Benedict [summer beach reads txt] 📗
- Author: Elsie Lincoln Benedict
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Women Like Him
¶ The average woman likes the Cerebral type of man but seldom loves or adores him. His helplessness appeals to her motherly sympathy.
¶ But women are afraid to marry the extreme type even when the feeling he prompts is more than mere protectiveness. They know he can not buffet the world for them and their offspring.
So, even when they love him best they usually marry the fat salesman, the Muscular worker who always has a good job, the Thoracic promoter who promises luxury, or the Osseous man who won't take "No" for an answer.
¶ When this type of man does marry it is often due as much to her proposal as his. He is especially aided in his courtship if "she" happens to be a quick-spoken Thoracic, a straight-from-the-shoulder Muscular, or one of those determined Osseous girls.
¶ The Cerebral woman is more fortunate in achieving marriage than the Cerebral man. The impracticality which so seriously handicaps him, since the husband is supposed to support the family, is not quite so much of a handicap to her.
Men who love her at all, love her for her tenderness, conscientiousness and delicacy and deem it a pleasure to work for her, and she is one type of woman who usually appreciates it.
¶ The tendency to dream his life away instead of doing tangible things that assist in the progress of the family is the greatest marital handicap of the Cerebral type.
Inability to make money results directly from this, and since money is so important in the rearing and educating of children, those who can not get it are bound to face hardship and disillusionment.
¶ The most pathetic sight to be seen anywhere is that of the delicate, intellectual man who loves his family dearly, has the highest ideals and yet is unable to provide for them.
¶ "When poverty comes in the door love flies out the window" is a saying as old as it is sad.
¶ And it is as true as it is both old and sad.
Despite the philosophers—who are all Cerebrals themselves!—love should grow in sheltered soil, protected from the buffetings of wind and storm. Without means no man can provide this protection. Happy marriage, as we have seen, is based on the cultivation of the strong points and the submergence of the weak ones of each partner. Poverty does more to bring out the worst in people and conceal the best than anything else in the world. So, although this type is high-minded, more idealistic in his love than any other type and has fewer of the lower instincts, he makes less of a success of marriage than any other type.
¶ Because he lives in his mind and not in his external world the predominantly Cerebral must marry one who also is predominantly Cerebral.
The reading of books, attendance at good plays, and the study of great movements constitute the chief enjoyments of this type and if he has a mate who cares nothing for these things his marriage is bound to be a failure.
The Cerebral he marries should, however, be inclined to the Muscular also.
Second choice for this type is the predominantly Muscular and third choice is the Osseous. The firmness of the latter is often a desirable element in the combination, for the Cerebral does not mind giving the reins over to his Osseous mate; he does not like driving anyhow.
The last type of all for the pure Cerebral to marry is the pure Alimentive because it is farthest removed from his own type. These two have very little in common.
Remember, in marriage, TYPE is not a substitute for LOVE. Both are essential to ideal mating. People contemplating matrimony are like two autoists planning a long journey together, each driving his own car. Whether they can make the same speed, climb the same grades "on high" and be well matched in general, depends on the TYPE of these two cars. But it takes LOVE to supply the gas, the self-starters and the spark plugs!
he masses of mankind form a vast pyramid. At the very tip-top peak are gathered the few who are famous. In the bottom layer are the many failures. Between these extremes lie all the rest—from those who live near the ragged edge of Down-and-Out-Land to those who storm the doors of the House of Greatness.
Again, between these, and making up the large majority, are the myriads of laborers, clerks, small business men, housekeepers—that myriad-headed mass known as "the back bone of the world."
Yet the great distance from the lower layer to the tip-top peak is not insurmountable. Many have covered it almost overnight.
¶ For fame is not due, as we have been led to believe, solely to years of plodding toil. A thousand years of labor could never have produced an Edison, a Marconi, a Curie, a Rockefeller, a Roosevelt, a Wilson, a Bryan, a Ford, a Babe Ruth, a Carpentier, a Mary Pickford, a Caruso, a Spencer or an Emerson.
¶ The reserved seat in the tip-top peak of the pyramid is procured only by him who has found his real vocation.
To such a one his work is not hard. No hours are long enough to tire his body; no thought is difficult enough to weary his mind; to him there is no day and no night, no quitting time, no Saturday afternoons and no Sundays. He is at the business for which he was created—and all is play.
¶ Thomas A. Edison so loves his work that he sleeps an average of less than four hours of each twenty-four. When working out one of his experiments he forgets to eat, cares not whether it is day or night and keeps his mind on his invention until it is finished.
Yet he has reached the age of seventy-four with every mental and physical faculty doing one hundred per cent service—and the prize place in the tip-top peak of the Wizards of the World is his! He started at the very bottom layer, an orphan newsboy. He made the journey to the pinnacle because early in life he found his vocation.
¶ Each one of the world's great successes was a failure first.
It is interesting to note the things at which some of them failed. Darwin was a failure at the ministry, for which he was educated. Herbert Spencer was a failure as an engineer, though he struggled years in that profession. Abraham Lincoln was such a failure at thirty-three as a lawyer that he refused an invitation to visit an old friend "because," he wrote, "I am such a failure I do not dare to take the time."
Babe Ruth was a failure as a tailor. Hawthorne was a failure as a Custom House clerk when he wrote the "Scarlet Letter." Theodore Roosevelt was a failure as a cowboy in North Dakota and gave up his frontiering because of it.
These men were failures because they tried to do things for which they were not intended. But each at last found his work, and when he did, it was so easy for him it made him famous.
¶ Fame comes only to the man, or woman, who loves his work so well that it is not work but play. It comes only to him who does something with marvellous efficiency. Work alone can not produce that kind of efficiency.
¶ Fame comes from doing one thing so much better than your competitors that your results stand out above and beyond the results of all others. Any man who will do efficiently any one of the many things the world is crying for can place his own price upon his work and get it. He can get it because the world gladly pays for what it really wants, and because the efficient man has almost no competition.
¶ But here's the rub. You will never do anything with that brilliant efficiency save what you LIKE TO DO. Efficiency does not come from duty, or necessity, or goading, or lashing, or anything under heaven save ENJOYMENT OF THE THING ITSELF.
Nothing less will ever release those hidden powers, those miraculous forces which, for the lack of a better name, we call "genius."
¶ Elimination of what are distinctly NOT your vocations will help you toward finding those that ARE. To that end here are some tests which will clear up many things for you. They will help you to know especially whether or not the vocations you have been contemplating are fitted to you.
¶ Whenever you are considering your fitness for any vocation, ask yourself these questions:
Self-Question 1—Am I considering this vocation chiefly because I would enjoy the things it would bring—such as salary, fame, social position or change of scene?
If, in your heart, your answer is "Yes," this is not a vocation for you.
¶ The above test can best be illustrated by the story of a young woman who wanted to be told that she had ability to act. "I am determined to go into the movies," she told us. "Do you think I would be a success?"
"When you picture yourself in this profession what do you see yourself doing?" we asked.
"Oh, everything wonderful," she replied. "I see myself driving my own car—one of those cute little custom-made ones, you know—and wearing the most stunning clothes and meeting all those big movie stars—and living all the year round in California!"
"Is that all you ever see yourself doing?" we inquired.
"Yes—but isn't that enough?"
"All but one—the acting."
She then admitted that in the eight years she had been planning to enter the movies she had never once really visualized herself acting, or studying any part, or doing any work—nothing but rewards and emoluments.
Self-Question 2—Knowing the requirements of this vocation—its tasks, drudgeries, hours of work, concentration and kind of activity—would I choose to follow them in preference to any other kind of activity even if the income were the same?
Would I do these things for the pleasure of doing them and not for the pay?
If, in your heart, you can answer "Yes" to these questions, your problem is settled; you will succeed in that vocation. For you will so enjoy your work that it will be play. Being play, you will do it so happily that you will get from it new strength each day.
Because you are doing what you were built to do, you will think of countless improvements, inventions, ways of marketing them. This will promote you over the others who are there only for the pay envelope; it will raise your salary; it will eventually and inevitably take you to the top.
A man we know aptly illustrates this point. He was a bookkeeper. He had held the same position for twenty-three years and was getting $125 a month. He had little leisure but used all he did have—evenings, Saturday afternoons, Sundays and his ten-day vacations—making things.
In that time he had built furniture for his six-room house—every kind of article for the kitchen, bathroom and porch. And into everything he had put little improving touches such as are not
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