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Under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which only yesterday afternoon had become the property of the orphan fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of to-day. The coals are almost gone in each of the houses. Every article of provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. Truly, we are exceedingly poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till Monday morning, and thus we are brought to the close of another week. This afternoon all the laborers met for prayer.

Nov. 14. When we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to praise, for the Lord had sent in means. This morning was given to me five pounds, and six shillings had come in by sale of articles.

Nov. 15. Last Friday brother Craik and I had a meeting for inquirers and candidates for fellowship. We saw eight, and had to send away ten whom we could not see, our strength being quite gone after we had seen the eight, one after another. This evening we saw seven, and had to send away three.

Nov. 16. The last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the day schools. Besides this, we need a stove in one of the school-rooms; also some Bibles and tracts. To-day I received two pounds from a brother at Exmouth.

Dec. 9. We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed.

During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at those meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the Report. Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being assured that if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as he should enable us to depend on himself alone. But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord’s dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by some such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living God alone, and not upon public meetings or printed reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the Reports for a few months. Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did.

CHAPTER XIV. WALKING IN DARKNESS. 1841-1842.

“GOD’S WAY LEADS INTO TRIAL”—GROUNDS OF THANKFULNESS—PROTRACTED DARKNESS—CAST DOWN, BUT NOT DESTROYED—TRUST IN GOD COMMENDED—THE MEANS OF ITS ATTAINMENT—REVIEW OF THE WORK.

December 15, 1841. From Nov. 12 to this day my fellow-laborers in the church and I have seen thirty inquirers and candidates for fellowship, and some of them we have seen repeatedly. How can we sufficiently praise the Lord for still continuing to use us in his service?

Dec. 18. Saturday morning. There is now the greatest need, and only fourpence in hand, which I found in the box at my house; yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.—Pause a few moments, dear reader. Observe two things. We acted for God in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the Report; but God’s way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in God’s ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty, “I will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me.” Of all the seasons that I had ever passed through since I had been living in this way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply as during the four months from December 12, 1841, to April 12, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the Report; for no one knew our determination, at this time, concerning this point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of God were looking forward to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion at which we arrived under his guidance.—Now to return to Saturday, Dec. 18. Evening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day. In the course of the morning six shillings came in. We had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes after the laborers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By means of this all that was needed for tea could be procured. When we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies amounted to two pounds eight shillings twopence, enough for all that was required to-day. But one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. I was informed that three more of the orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the Lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children.

Dec. 23. This is now the sixth week that the laborers in the day schools and Orphan Houses have daily met for prayer. Several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as it regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. One of our petitions has been that the Lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callowhill Street schoolroom. But, though we had often mentioned this matter before the Lord, he seemed not to regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, while walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an unusual assurance that the time was now come when the Lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe that he would send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. And now, dear reader, observe: This morning I received from A. B. twenty pounds, and we have thus much more than is required for a stove.

REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1841.

1. In reading over my journal, I find that the Lord has given me, during this year, many precious answers to prayer, in addition to those which have been recorded in the previous part of the Narrative. I mention the following for the encouragement of the reader: 1. One of the orphan boys needed to be apprenticed. I knew of no suitable believing master who would take an in-door apprentice. I gave myself to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the Lord. I marked it down among the subjects for which I would daily ask the Lord; and at last, though from May 21 to September I had to pray about the matter, the Lord granted my request; for in September I found a suitable place for him. 2. On May 23 I began to ask the Lord that he would be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the Lord from the great spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three days the Lord granted me my request. 3. On June 15 I began to ask the Lord to deliver a brother at a distance from the great spiritual nervousness in which he found himself shut up, which not only distressed him exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in his service towards the world and the church, but which in consequence was also a trial to the saints who knew and valued this dear brother. This petition I brought many times before the Lord. The year passed away, and it was not granted. But yet at last this request also has been granted to me and to the many dear saints who I know prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some years in this state, it is now [in 1845] two years and more since he has been quite restored. 4. On June 15 I also began to ask the Lord daily in his mercy to keep a sister in the Lord from insanity, who was then apparently on the very border of it; and I have now [in 1845] to record to his praise, after nearly four years have passed away, that the Lord has kept her from it. 5. During this year I was informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners that I had ever heard of in all my service for the Lord. Repeatedly I fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the Lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of her most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received from him in his bitter enmity against her for the Lord’s sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a passion, and she would not strike him again, and the like. At the time when it was at its worst I pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in Matthew xviii. 19: “Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.” And now this awful persecutor is converted. 6. On May 25 I began to ask the Lord for greater real spiritual prosperity among the saints among whom I labor in Bristol than there ever yet had been among them; and now I have to record to the praise of the Lord that truly he has answered this request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been more manifestation of grace, and truth, and spiritual power among us, than there is now while I am writing this for the press [1845].

2. The state of the church with reference to numbers. There are 572 at present in communion, 88 having been added during the past year, of whom 30 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.

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