The Life of Trust, George Müller [e ink epub reader .txt] 📗

I have continued to pray for you, or rather the Lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remember you. The burden of my prayer still has been, that he would be pleased to make you very happy in himself, and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum back to him who gave it to you, and who gave himself for you. With reference to the delay, I cannot but rejoice. This gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you) that you did not do the thing in haste. I consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honor of the Lord. You know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. That you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, etc., I consider to be an especial blessing which the Lord has bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should become a snare to you. Humblings last our whole life. Jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but he has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. I have a passage laid on my heart for you; read the whole of it carefully: 2 Cor. viii. 1-9, especially verse 9.

Day after day now passed away and the money did not come. The month of January was come to an end, and February also, and the money had not come. Thus more than one hundred and twenty days were gone by, whilst day by day I brought my petition before the Lord that he would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose, and intrust me with this money for his work in my hands. Amidst it all my heart was assured, judging from the earnestness which he had given me in prayer, and that I had only desired this matter to the praise of his name, that in his own time he would bring it about. But I never wrote one single line to this sister on the subject all this time. At last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day since I had daily besought the Lord about this matter, on March 8, 1843, I received a letter from the sister, informing me that the five hundred pounds had been paid into the hands of my bankers.

And now I only give a few lines of a letter which I received on July 3, 1844, from the sister who gave this donation, together with my letters for which I had asked her, in order that I may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually given up the money. She writes thus: “I am thankful to say that I have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret, but it is wholly of the Lord’s abounding grace. I speak it to his praise.”

On March 31, 1843, I called at the Orphan Houses to make certain arrangements, and one of the sisters told me by the way that she had been asked by Miss G., who with her father occupied the house No. 4 Wilson Street, to let me know that they wished to give up their house, if I would like to take it; but she had replied that it was of no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that I had no thought of opening another Orphan House. When I came home, this matter greatly occupied my mind. I could not but ask the Lord again and again whether he would have me to open another Orphan House, and whether the time was now come that I should serve him still more extensively in this way. The more I pondered the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the hand of God moving me onwards in this service. The following remarkable combination of circumstances struck me in particular: 1. There are more applications made for the admission of orphans, especially of late, than we are at all able to meet, though we fill the houses as much as the health of the children and of the laborers will possibly admit. 2. If I did take another house for orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street where the other three are, as thus the labor is less, and in times of great need we are near together for prayer, the distribution of the money, etc. But since the third Orphan House was opened, in Nov. 1837, there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to be let. 3. There are about fifteen children in the Infant Orphan House, whom it would have been well some time ago to have removed to the house for the older girls, had there been room; but when a vacancy happened to occur in that house, there were generally several waiting to fill it up, so that unintentionally the female children in the Infant Orphan House remained where they were; but this is not well, nor is it according to my original intention; for the infants were intended only to be left till they are seven years old, and then to be removed to the houses for older boys and girls. This my original plan could be executed better for the future, and at once for the present, were I to open another Orphan House. 4. I know two sisters who seem suitable laborers for this fourth Orphan House, and who have a desire thus to be engaged. 5. There are three hundred pounds remaining of the five hundred pounds which I so lately received. This money may be used for the furnishing and fitting up of a new Orphan House. So much money I have never had in hand at any one time during the last five years. This seemed to me a remarkable thing, in connection with the four other reasons. 6. The establishing of a fourth Orphan House, which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be, after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly through trials of faith, a plain proof that I have not regretted this service, and that I am not tired of this precious way of depending upon the Lord from day to day; and thus the faith of other children of God might be strengthened.

But most important, yea, decidedly conclusive as these points were, yet they did not convince me that I ought to go forward in this service, if the Spirit’s leadings were not in connection with them. I therefore gave myself to prayer. I prayed day after day, without saying anything to any human being. I prayed two and twenty days without even mentioning it to my dear wife. On that very day, when I did mention it to her, and on which I had come to the conclusion, after three weeks’ prayer and consideration in the fear of God, to establish another Orphan House, I received from A. B. fifty pounds. What a striking confirmation that the Lord will help, though the necessities should increase more and more. At last, on the twenty-fourth day, having been now for several days fully assured that God would have me go forward in this service, I went to inquire whether Mr. and Miss G. still wished to give up the house. But here I found an apparent hindrance. Having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the Orphan Houses, with whom Miss G. had communicated, not having given her the least reason to think that I should do so, Mr. and Miss G. had altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house. However, I was to call again in a week, when I should receive an answer. I was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. “Lord, if thou hast no need of another Orphan House, I have none,” was the burden of my prayer. I was willing to do God’s will, yea, to delight myself in his will. And just on this very ground, because I knew I sought not my own honor, but the Lord’s; because I knew I was not serving myself, but the Lord, in this thing; and because I knew that with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration I had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during which I had been thus waiting upon the Lord, come to the conclusion that it was the will of God I should go forward in this service. For these reasons I felt sure, notwithstanding what Mr. and Miss G. had told me, that I should have the house. I also especially judged that thus it would be, because I was quite in peace when I heard of the obstacle; a plain proof that