Human Imperfection, Teboho Kibe [read a book .txt] 📗

Yet, some might well ask: What about serious sin? Must all sins be forgiven?

Seeking a Balance

When a person has been grievously wronged, the pain can be immense. This is particularly true if one is the innocent victim of a serious sin. Some may even wonder, ‘How can I forgive someone who viciously betrayed and hurt me?’

On a rare occasion, though, you may have prayed about the matter and tried to forgive, but you feel that you cannot. What then? Jesus urged going to the other party and trying to resolve the difference privately to achieve peace. “If, then, you are bringing your gift to the altar and you there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, and go away; first make your peace with your brother, and then, when you have come back, offer up your gift.”—Matthew 5:23, 24.

Significantly, Jesus did not say to go to your brother to convince him that you were in the right and that he was in the wrong. Maybe he was. More probably, there was some fault on each side. In any case, the goal should not be to get the other party to concede, to grovel, as it were. If that is how you approach the discussion, failure will be almost certain. Nor should the goal necessarily be to review every detail of the real or imagined offense. When calm discussion in the spirit of Christian love reveals a sad misunderstanding at the core of the problem, you can both try to clear that up. But even if the discussion does not lead to total agreement, is that always necessary? Would it not be better if you at least could agree that you both sincerely want to serve our forgiving God? When you face that reality, it may be easier for each to say from the heart, “I am sorry that in our imperfection we had this difference. Please, let us pass beyond it.”

In any case, much may depend on the offender. Since the wrongdoing has there been any sign of sincere repentance? Has the sinner changed, perhaps even attempted to make real amends? In Jehovah’s eyes such repentance is a key to forgiveness even in the case of truly horrendous sins. For example, Jehovah forgave Manasseh, one of the most wicked kings in Israel’s history. On what basis? God did so because Manasseh finally humbled himself and repented of his vile ways.—2 Chronicles 33:12, 13.

In the Bible genuine repentance involves a sincere change in attitude, a heartfelt regret over any wrongs committed. Where appropriate and possible, repentance is accompanied by an effort to make restitution to the victim of the sin. (Luke 19:7-10; 2 Corinthians 7:11) Where there is no such repentance, Jehovah does not forgive. Moreover, God does not expect Christians to forgive those who were once enlightened spiritually but who now willfully, unrepentantly practice wrongdoing. (Hebrews 10:26-31) In extreme cases, forgiveness may well be inappropriate.—Psalm 139:21, 22; Ezekiel 18:30-32.

Whether forgiveness is possible or not, a victim of serious sin may want to weigh another question: Must I remain in severe emotional turmoil, feeling intensely hurt and angry, until the matter is fully resolved? Consider an example. King David felt intensely hurt when his general, Joab, murdered Abner and Amasa, “two men more righteous and better than [Joab] was.” (1 Kings 2:32) David expressed his outrage orally and undoubtedly to Jehovah in prayer. In time, though, the sheer intensity of David’s feelings likely subsided. He was not dominated by outrage to the end of his days. David even continued to work with Joab, but he did not simply forgive this unrepentant killer. David saw to it that justice was done in the end.—2 Samuel 3:28-39; 1 Kings 2:5, 6.

It may take some time and work before those hurt by the serious sins of others get over their initial anger. The healing process may be much easier when the offender acknowledges his wrong and repents. However, an innocent victim of sin should be able to find comfort and solace in his knowledge of Jehovah’s justice and wisdom and in the Christian congregation, regardless of the wrongdoer’s course.

Recognize, too, that when you do forgive a sinner, this does not mean that you are condoning the sin. For the Christian, forgiveness means trustfully leaving the matter in Jehovah’s hands. He is the righteous Judge of all the universe, and he will carry out justice at the right time. That will include judging treacherous “fornicators and adulterers.”—Hebrews 13:4.

The Benefits of Forgiving

The psalmist David sang: “For you, O Jehovah, are good and ready to forgive; and the loving-kindness to all those calling upon you is abundant.” (Psalm 86:5) Are you, like Jehovah, “ready to forgive”? The benefits are many.

First, forgiving others promotes good relations. The Bible urges Christians: “Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.”—Ephesians 4:32.

Second, forgiveness brings peace. This is not just peace with fellow humans but inner peace as well.—Romans 14:19; Colossians 3:13-15.

Third, forgiving others helps us to remember that we ourselves are in need of forgiveness. Yes, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”—Romans 3:23.

Finally, forgiving others clears the way for our sins to be forgiven by God. Jesus said: “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”—Matthew 6:14.

Imagine the many things that must have occupied Jesus’ mind on the afternoon of his death. He was concerned about his disciples, the preaching work, and especially his integrity to Jehovah. Yet, even when he was suffering intensely on the torture stake, what did he speak about? Among his last words were, “Father, forgive them.” (Luke 23:34) We can imitate Jesus’ perfect example by forgiving one another from the heart.

Okay friends, let’s now move on to talking about human imperfection in the content of sex.There is no denying that sex can trouble an adult who has normal desires but who does not have a mate. Many persons in this situation have been led to believe that the solution rests in having affairs, visiting prostitutes or practicing self-abuse.

But why say, “have been led to believe”? Psychologist M. Edwards pointed out: “Sex is sold like any other product, and you are told that if you’re not consuming your share there’s something wrong with you.” Yes, the sales propaganda about sex abounds in movies, magazines and books. A widely published view is that “human beings are sexual beings and without the constant stimulation of regular and frequent sex they tend to fade.” But, taking strong exception to this view, psychologist Edwards stated: “People can abstain from sexual intercourse for long periods of time and still show no ill effects. Whether you are a man or a woman, it is mostly a matter of adapting to the facts of a situation.”

Ask yourself: Why should I allow this overemphasis on sex, this sales propaganda, to lead to a greedy abuse of my body or to immoral relations? Why should I be “sold” into being exposed to painful emotional experiences, the possibility of unwanted pregnancy, ruinous venereal diseases and a violation of God’s perfect moral standards? (Heb. 13:4) A wiser course is to realize that a single person can keep normal desire in check by exercising self-control. One widow sought sexual satisfaction by immoral affairs. Yet, in time, even though she was not restrained by an interest in having God’s approval, she ceased such immorality. Why? Because it brought, not happiness, but frustrations and disappointments. She said: “I’m not a woman to live happily without sex. But I have learned that I can.”

Mature reasoning and self-discipline can help a person to lessen sex longings by avoiding things that stimulate them. Illustrating this, a divorcée in Brooklyn said that she is very strict with herself in this regard. She keeps far away from romantic or sex-oriented novels and movies. She added: “Sometimes I won’t listen to certain records or songs because they would play on my emotions. When I am feeling sentimental, I turn them off or skip them, for they would only fan romantic longings.”

Still, in this age of AIDS, promiscuous sex is unquestionably dangerous. Yet, many youths seem to view sex as little more than a harmless game. Some American youths, for example, blithely speak of “hooking up”—a harmless-sounding euphemism for casual sex. They talk about having “a friend with benefits”—a sexual partner who makes no emotional demands.

Author Scott Walter describes the orgylike parties some suburban youths throw while their parents are at work. At one such party, a young girl announced that “she was going to have sex with all the boys there. . . . Children as young as 12 were involved in the parties.”

Shocking? Not to experts who have studied teenage sexual behavior. “Over the past 20 years,” writes Dr. Andrea Pennington, “we have seen the average age for teenagers engaging in sexual activity grow younger and younger. It is no longer unusual to find boys and girls starting out as young as 12 years of age.”

Particularly distressing was a report in the newspaper USA Today: “Increasing numbers of the country’s youngest teens . . . are having oral sex. . . . Kids have convinced themselves that ‘this is not really sex.’” According to one survey of 10,000 girls, “eighty percent said they are virgins, but 25% had had oral sex. And 27% described that act as ‘something you do with a guy for fun.’”

Such views on sex have made inroads elsewhere. “Asia’s youth are becoming increasingly susceptible to HIV through heterosexual relationships with many becoming sexually active at a younger age,” reports UNESCO, adding: “Teenagers are increasingly shirking their parents’ ‘Asian values’ by having premarital sex, often with multiple partners.”

Well, the truth is that we live in a world saturated with sex, and this has affected both young and old. You may feel as did one young man, who said: “Everything around us focuses on sex. It is as common as breathing and sleeping. Every time you pick up a magazine, or turn on the TV, there it is. When you’re at the store, driving your car, at work, at school—there it is! The way persons act, speak and dress is constantly drawing attention to the human body and sex. It is the number one topic of conversation.” Recent statistics show that, worldwide, unprecedented numbers of teenagers—even preteens—are engaging in premarital sex relations.

GREAT BRITAIN: “Only one in six girls leaving her teens is still a virgin and one in four first has sexual intercourse before 16,” a 1980 survey reveals.

CANADA: “An ‘epidemic’ of unwed teen mothers,” says a 1979 government report.

UNITED STATES: ‘Four out of five young men and two out of three young women have had sex by 19,’ a 1981 study indicates.

JAPAN: In some cities ‘unmarried mothers in their late teens and early twenties have registered a sixtyfold increase between 1970 and 1979.’

FRANCE: “More than half of France’s schoolgirls claim to take part in sexual relationships on a regular basis,” a 1980 survey shows.

“Teen Pregnancy Growing World Problem,” says a headline of a recent newspaper article in the Brazil Herald. The article documented such increases in England, Wales, East Germany and Russia. As much as 85 percent of all reported cases of venereal disease occur in young persons. Such diseases have become epidemic worldwide.

Yet not all young persons have taken up the chant “Chaste makes waste.” Many have decided that they will wait till marriage before enjoying sex relations. But it is not easy for them to preserve their chastity and “abstain from fornication,” as the Bible commands. (1 Thess. 4:3) They may rightly ask: ‘Is there any power available to help a person to cope with the awesome tidal wave of sexual promiscuity?’

Yes, there is. Startling evidence of this power was seen 2,000 years ago during one of the most morally degenerate periods in recorded history.

“THE MONSTROUS MORALS OF ROME”

The Roman statesman Seneca was an eyewitness of conditions in the Roman world