The Life of Trust, George Müller [e ink epub reader .txt] 📗
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8. Lastly, I am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the prospect of enlarging the work, as on former occasions when I had to do so. This weighs particularly with me as a reason for going forward. After all the calm, quiet, prayerful consideration of the subject for about eight weeks, I am peaceful and happy, spiritually, in the purpose of enlarging the field. This, after all the heart-searching which I have had, and the daily prayer to be kept from delusion and mistake in this thing, and the betaking myself to the word of God, would not be the case, I judge, had not the Lord purposed to condescend to use me more than ever in this service.
I therefore, on the ground of the objections answered, and these eight reasons for enlarging the work, come to the conclusion that it is the will of the blessed God that his poor and most unworthy servant should yet more extensively serve him in this work, which he is quite willing to do.
Up to this day, Jan. 25, 1851, I have not spoken to one human being about it. As yet even my dear wife knows not about it. I purpose to keep the matter still for some time entirely to myself, dealing with God alone about it, in order that no outward excitement may be in the least degree a stimulus to me. I still pray to be kept from mistake and delusion in this thing; not that I think I am mistaken or deluded, quite the reverse, but yet I would distrust myself and cling to God, to be kept from mistakes and delusions.
Jan. 31. For several weeks past I have now had no doubt that the Lord would have me to serve him in the erection and fitting up of another Orphan House for seven hundred orphans, and I am quite decided on doing so, under his help; and I am now quiet about it, not because I have the least misgiving in my own mind, but because I know that it is most suitable that I should still for some time continue to deal quietly with God alone about it.
March 5. Nearly five weeks have passed away since I wrote the last paragraph, and my mind has not been once during this time, even for a moment, in uncertainty as to what I ought to do. It is now about fifteen weeks since I have been especially praying about this subject, and three months since I began first to write on the subject in my journal, and about ten weeks since I have had any doubt as to what is the will of the Lord concerning this service. I believe that, altogether unworthy though I am of this great honor, he will condescend to use me further and more extensively than before in caring for destitute children who are bereaved of both parents. And this I purpose to do.
May 24. From the time that I began to write down the exercises of my mind on Dec. 5, 1850, till this day, ninety-two more orphans have been applied for, and seventy-eight were already waiting for admission before. But this number increases rapidly as the work becomes more and more known.
On the ground of what has been recorded above, I purpose to go forward in this service, and to seek to build, to the praise and honor of the living God, another Orphan House, large enough to accommodate seven hundred orphans.
When I published these exercises of my mind, and made known my purpose respecting the intended Orphan House for seven hundred orphans, in the Twelfth Report of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, the following particulars were added to what has been stated:—
1. All this time, though now six months have elapsed since I first began to be exercised about this matter, I have never once been led to ask the Lord for means for this work, but have only continued day by day to seek guidance from him as to whether I should undertake it or not.
2. The means requisite to accomplish the building and fitting up of a house which shall be really suitable for my intended purposes, though the building be quite simple, cannot be less than thirty-five thousand pounds, including fifteen or twenty acres of land round the building for cultivation by the spade, in order to obtain out of our own grounds all the vegetables which are so important to the health of the children.
3. I do not mean to begin the building until I have the means requisite in hand, just as was the case with regard to the new Orphan House. If God will condescend to use me in building for him another Orphan House (as I judge he will), he will give me the means for it. Now, though I have not on my own mind any doubt left that it is his will that I should do so, which has been stated again and again in the preceding pages; yet there is one point still wanting for confirmation, and that is, that he will also furnish me, without personal application to any one, with all the means requisite for this new part of my service. I am the more needing also to my own soul this last of all the proofs that I have not been mistaken (as I firmly believe I have not been), in order to have unquestionable assurance that, whatever trials hereafter might be allowed to befall me in connection with this work, I did not at my own bidding and according to my own natural desire undertake it, but that it was under the guidance of God. The greatness of the sum required affords me a kind of secret joy; for the greater the difficulty to be overcome, the more will it be seen, to the glory of God, how much can be done by prayer and faith; and also because, when God himself overcomes our difficulties for us, we have, in this very fact, the assurance that we are engaged in his work, and not in our own.
CHAPTER XXI. UNVARYING PROSPERITY. 1850-1852.DESIRES FOR MORE ENLARGED USEFULNESS GRATIFIED—A LARGE DONATION ANTICIPATED AND RECEIVED—REVIEW OF 1851—PERSONAL EXPERIENCE—BUILDING FUND FOR THE SECOND NEW ORPHAN HOUSE—DOUBT RESISTED—WAITING ON GOD NOT IN VAIN—REVIEW OF 1852.
At the commencement of the year beginning with May, 1850, it was my purpose to seek help from the Lord that I might be able, in a still greater degree than before, to assist brethren who labor in the gospel at home and abroad, in dependence upon God for their temporal supplies, and to labor more than ever in the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and of simple gospel tracts.
June 11. By the sums which came in within the first fifteen days of this period I was able to begin to carry out the purpose I had formed; and as the Lord enabled me, without anxious reckoning, to go on giving out as he was pleased to intrust me with means, so again he sent further supplies before all was gone. It is a point of great importance in the divine life not to be anxiously reckoning about the morrow, nor dealing out sparingly on account of possible future wants which never may come; but to consider that the present moment to serve the Lord only is ours, and that the morrow may never come to us.
April 20, 1851. During the whole of the current year, up to this date, the Lord has so abundantly supplied me with means that there came not one single case before me in which it would have been desirable to help, according to the measure of light given to me, or to extend the work, without my having at the same time ample means for doing so. In the midst of the great depression of the times, which was so generally felt, and on account of which, humanly speaking, I also might have been exceedingly tried for want of means, I, on the contrary, at no period of the work for the seventeen years previous had a greater abundance of means. I do on purpose lay stress upon this because I desire that it may become increasingly known that there is no easier, no better, and no happier way in the end than God’s way, and this in particular also with regard to the obtaining of means simply in answer to prayer, without personal application to any one.
At the beginning of the year I had more in hand for the orphans than for many years before, under similar circumstances, the balance for current expenses on May 26, 1850, being one hundred and fifty pounds seven shillings tenpence. Yet, much as this was in comparison with what the balance had generally been before, how small was the amount in reality! About three hundred persons were connected with the new Orphan House, who day by day were to be provided with all they needed, besides several apprentices who also were still to be supported. On this account the one hundred and fifty pounds in hand would only furnish that which was needed for about fifteen days, as the average expenses of the orphan work alone were about ten pounds daily. Place yourself, therefore, dear reader, in my position. Three hundred persons daily at table, and one hundred and fifty pounds in hand! Looking at it naturally, it is enough to make one tremble; but trusting in the living God, as by his grace I was enabled to do, I had not the least trial of mind, and was assured that God would as certainly help me as he had done fourteen years before, when the number of the orphans was only the tenth part as large.
Nov. 27. For seven weeks the income has been very small, in comparison with what has been expended, both for the orphans and for the various other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. There has come in for the orphans £187, 16s. 2¾d., and for the other objects £62, 11s. 1d.; and the expenditure has been for the orphans during these seven weeks £477, 2s. 11d., and for the various other objects £394, 9s. 8d. Therefore altogether £871, 12s. 7d. has been expended, whilst the income altogether has been only £250, 7s. 3¾d. We have, of course, not gone into debt, as we never order anything except we have the means in hand for it. Nor has there been even the least difficulty experienced with regard to means, as the Lord in his kindness had sent in considerable sums just before this season commenced. About three hundred and thirty persons now sit down to their meals in the new Orphan House, day by day, and the expenses for the orphans alone are about ten pounds daily, and those for the other parts of the work are also about ten pounds daily, so that I need to receive after the rate of twenty pounds a day, in order to go on with the work; but during these
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