The Life of Trust, George Müller [e ink epub reader .txt] 📗

that there was a schoolmaster living in a village about six miles from Halle, who was in the habit of holding a prayer meeting at four o’clock every morning, with the miners, before they went into the pit, giving them also an address, I thought he was a believer; and as I knew so very few brethren, I went to see him, in order, if it might be, to strengthen his hands. About two years afterwards, he told me that when I came to him first he knew not the Lord, but that he had held these prayer meetings merely out of kindness to a relative, whose office it was, but who had gone on a journey; and that those addresses which he had read were not his own, but copied out of a book. He also told me that he was much impressed with my kindness, and what he considered condescension on my part in coming to see him, and this, together with my conversation, had been instrumental in leading him to care about the things of God, and I knew him ever afterwards as a true brother.

This schoolmaster asked me whether I would not preach in his parish, as the aged clergyman would be very glad of my assistance. Up to this time I had never preached; yet I thought that by taking a sermon, or the greater part of one, written by a spiritual man, and committing it to memory, I might benefit the people. I set about putting a printed sermon into a suitable form, and committing it to memory. There is no joy in man’s own doings and choosings. I got through it, but had no enjoyment in the work. It was on August 27, 1826, at eight in the morning, in a chapel of ease. There was one service more, in the afternoon, at which I needed not to have done anything; but having a desire to serve the Lord, though I often knew not how to do it scripturally, and knowing that this aged and unenlightened clergyman had had this living for forty-eight years, and having therefore reason to believe that the gospel scarcely ever had been preached in that place, I had it in my heart to preach again in the afternoon. It came to my mind to read the fifth chapter of Matthew, and to make such remarks as I was able. I did so. Immediately upon beginning to expound “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” etc., I felt myself greatly assisted; and whereas in the morning my sermon had not been simple enough for the people to understand it, I now was listened to with the greatest attention, and I think was also understood. My own peace and joy were great. I felt this a blessed work.

On my way to Halle I thought, this is the way I should like always to preach. But then it came immediately to my mind that such sort of preaching might do for illiterate country people, but that it never would do before a well-educated assembly in town. I thought the truth ought to be preached at all hazards, but it ought to be given in a different form, suited to the hearers. Thus I remained unsettled in my mind as it regards the mode of preaching; and it is not surprising that I did not then see the truth concerning this matter, for I did not understand the work of the Spirit, and therefore saw not the powerlessness of human eloquence. Further, I did not keep in mind that if the most illiterate persons in the congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most educated will understand it too; but that the reverse does not hold true.

It was not till three years afterwards that I was led, through grace, to see what I now consider the right mode of preparation for the public preaching of the word. But about this, if God permit, I will say more when I come to that period of my life.

It was about this time that I formed the plan of exchanging the University of Halle for that of Berlin, on account of there being a greater number of believing professors and students in the latter place. But the whole plan was formed without prayer, or at least without earnest prayer. When, however, the morning came on which I had to apply for the university testimonials, the Lord graciously stirred me up prayerfully to consider the matter; and finding that I had no sufficient reason for leaving Halle, I gave up the plan, and have never had reason to regret having done so.

The public means of grace by which I could be benefited were very few. Though I went regularly to church when I did not preach myself, yet I scarcely ever heard the truth; for there was no enlightened clergyman in the town. And when it so happened that I could hear Dr. Tholuck, or any other godly minister, the prospect of it beforehand, and the looking back upon it afterwards, served to fill me with joy. Now and then I walked ten or fifteen miles to enjoy this privilege.

Another means of grace which I attended, besides the Saturday-evening meetings in brother Wagner’s house, was a meeting every Lord’s-day evening with the believing students, six or more in number, increased, before I left Halle, to about twenty. In these meetings, one or two, or more, of the brethren prayed, and we read the Scriptures, sang hymns, and sometimes also one or another of the brethren spoke a little in the way of exhortation, and we read also such writings of godly men as were calculated for edification. I was often greatly stirred up and refreshed in these meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, and therefore cold and miserable, I opened my heart to the brethren, and was brought out of that state through the means of their exhortations and prayers.

As to the other means of grace, I would say, I fell into the snare into which so many young believers fall, the reading of religious books in preference to the Scriptures. I read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godly persons. I never had been at any time of my life in the habit of reading the Holy Scriptures. When under fifteen years of age, I occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards God’s precious book was entirely laid aside, so that I never read one single chapter of it till it pleased God to begin a work of grace in my heart. Now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been: God himself has consented to be an author, and I am ignorant about that precious book, which his Holy Spirit has caused to be written through the instrumentality of his servants, and it contains that which I ought to know, the knowledge of which will lead me to true happiness; therefore I ought to read again and again this most precious book of books, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation; and in this practice I ought to continue all the days of my life. But instead of acting thus, my difficulty in understanding it, and the little enjoyment I had in it, made me careless of reading it; and thus, like many believers, I practically preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, the works of uninspired men to the oracles of the living God. The consequence was, that I remained a babe, both in knowledge and grace.

The last and most important means of grace, prayer, was comparatively but little used by me. I prayed, and prayed often, and in general, by the grace of God, with sincerity; but had I prayed as earnestly as I have of late years, I should have made much more rapid progress.

CHAPTER III. SELF-DEDICATION. 1826-1829.