Love Bird., Emily. Z. [best ebook reader ubuntu .txt] 📗
- Author: Emily. Z.
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I glanced at the rear view mirror as I relaxed back into my seat, and Logan was sitting with his elbow on the door, staring out the window. I only studied his face briefly before turning my gaze back to the road, but the guilt I felt over his expression tore at me. I was hurting him, with my open display of affection for Victor, and I knew who I belonged with. I did love Logan, but not as much as Victor. Not near as much.
It was a strange revelation to have. Like a knot in my gut that released and the overwhelming rightness of the feeling. I couldn't imagine living without him. And while the feeling was much the same with Logan, it was different. Overwhelmingly so.
Victor was sound asleep, probably exhausted from worrying over me so much. I felt much better after talking with Finn. Safer. I thought back with a smile to when we were leaving.
The sun was just a little past the tree line when we left, after talking the plan out in detail. Finn ignored the bickering of the other two as he pulled me in for a long and affectionate hug. He'd always been the crazy uncle I never had, and at times he reminded me of a father. Even if we didn't visit or see each other for years at a time, it was always as if we'd never parted. Kindred spirits, is what my brother would have called us.
"You let me know if you get in trouble, okay?" He murmured in my ear as he rocked us back and forth. "I may be old but I still know how to kick some ass."
I smiled to myself as I held him a little tighter, unable to quite get my arms fully around his shoulders, "I'll keep that in mind, Finn. Thank you," I added the last part after a short pause, trying to convey that I was thanking him for more than just the offer to protect me.
He let me go, patting me just a little too hard on the shoulder as he gave me his signature grin. "Don't you worry about nothin' sweetheart. I'll take care of it."
Those last words sounded a little ominous coming from him, but I smiled and thanked him anyway, promising to try. When we left, I noticed that the smile had faded from his face as he watched us pull off. I couldn't explain the uneasy feeling that settled in my gut, and prayed that I wouldn't regret telling Finn as much as I had about it.
I shifted my eyes to the rear view mirror again, a bit out of habit, and was surprised to meet Logan's eyes. His oceanic irises wore a breathtaking serious expression, and it seemed as though he were simply studying me through the mirror. I couldn't discern what he was looking for, though.
"What?" I asked, turning my gaze again to the road. His expression was a little disconcerting.
There was a moment of pause, and then a long sigh. "Just thinking."
I glanced back into the rear view mirror to see him staring out the window again.
"About...?"
"What if you'd met me first?" I couldn't tell if he was ignoring my prodding question or answering it.
I blinked, watching the road fly past as I went a good seventy MPH down the rural highway. The only thing around us was fields filled with crops of different kinds, and small farms spaced in between, with horses, goats and other animals grazing away. It was a peaceful scene, one that I'd wished to be a part of when I was a little girl. How did all of my dreams come to this?
I couldn't answer him for a moment, seriously contemplating the question. Rolling it over in my mind and trying to come up with an answer. But all I could do was repeat the question.
What if I'd met him first? What if I'd met him first? What if I'd met him...first?
I stared solely at the road now, aware of his gaze on the mirror. He was waiting, and he wouldn't speak until I answered. So I let my mouth move, instead of thinking. I simply answered.
"I can't answer for certain," I heard myself saying, with a composed voice, "Because in this life, right now, Victor is my everything. All I've ever known is the time and place where I met Victor first, and I fell for him, first. If...if I had met you first," My voice wavered for some reason, as my thoughts started racing with my own words. "If we had met before, I think...I think we might have...," I couldn't say it, because I knew it was true. the words that were about to come from my mouth were true, I realized. They were so painfully true.
But Logan didn't speak, and his gaze still burned into my back. I knew I had to say it. It was like a burning thought that if it didn't leave my mouth, would scorch my tongue and leave me unable to say anything else.
"If we had met...I think we might have loved each other...just as much."
But the words didn't relieve me. In fact they made this burning on my tongue spread to my throat. I couldn't speak anymore, and I didn't look at Logan again, giving a thick swallow and tightening my grip on the wheel. Logan didn't speak again either, but I didn't feel his gaze lift. For a long time until he fell asleep, I could feel his eyes on me. I never looked to see his expression. I was also aware of the silent tears flowing down my cheeks. This painful weight on my chest that reminded me every time my heart beat that I was hurting him. I found it hard to breathe.
They both slept all the way home, which was comforting to me. I didn't want to face them. Not with everything that had happened. Better that they were unconscious than to listen to their conscious silence.
When I arrived at Victor's house, I drove past, eyes scanning the area for any cars that I hadn't seen before. I drove two blocks around and parked, glancing around a bit more before turning the engine off. It gave a few chokes before it growled into silence, the vibrating and clicking giving way to an almost eerie silence, as my body got used to the feeling of no more vibrations.
The sudden silence also awoke Victor and Logan. Almost simultaneously I heard them shift and groan. Instead of throwing in some sarcastic comments about both of them making me drive the whole way, I got out of the car and with a calm hand opened both of their doors for them. They seemed to sense my change in mood, as both of them followed behind me without a word, on our trek back to Victor's home.
I took the long silence to compose myself. To lock away all of the emotions that I refused to show to the both of them. I counted in my mind all of the times I'd lost my cool in these past few days in disgust. I wouldn't be so weak again. So I took a deep breath, and forced myself to smile as we reached Victor's lawn.
"Well, Victor," I said, whirling as soon as we got to the front door. "With this, the game continues."
He narrowed his eyes as I grinned at him, shoulders slumping as he pulled his keys from his pocket. "I was hoping, with the danger and all, you'd forget that but...,"
"But apart of you knew that, me being me, I'd never do such a thing," I finished for him as he handed me his house key.
I could hear his sigh intermingled with a groan as I stuck the key in the door and entered the house, and I smiled to myself as I went in ahead of them. I started to say something else as I threw my keys on the kitchen table, turning around to give my signature sassy look, but a disturbing thud caused me to turn with much more haste than I'd intended.
I could hardly register Logan hitting the ground, and the sound of his body hitting the floor in front of me. I could hardly put together the sight in front of me as my entire body froze in place. Victor stood stock still, as a black, leather gloved hand held a steady gun to his temple. Another arm came around his neck, as the man's companion pointed a gun at me.
"We've got a message from Ike."
The mention of the vile name made me flinch, as my hand wordlessly reached out for Victor, who's gaze stayed locked with my own.
"West Virginia. A town called Galilee. You want to see this guy again?" He tapped his temple with the gun, but Victor didn't flinch. I did. "Come to 6087 David Street."
I hadn't even noticed the other man move, but he'd pointed his gun in the air. The resounding gunshot sent a shrill panic through my blood as an involuntary shriek came from my lips, my whole body jumping as for a split second, I expected to see Victor dead on the ground. My shaking hands squeezed tight as I watched Victor's eyes, which had closed at the sound, reopen to meet mine again.
"Jane," He murmured, his voice rough, "Don't-,"
But he couldn't finish his sentence, as the partner knocked his head hard with the gun, that same sickening thud resounding through the air as his eyes rolled shut and he slumped.
"Vic-," My voice was so frail as I watched them drag him off, still holding the gun to his head with every intention of killing him had I made one move. I was frozen anyway. The day that he actually was shot replaying over and over in my head as I stared with a horrified gaze at the open door.
The car outside revved up. They'd parked it somewhere I wouldn't see. It sped off, and I was left standing with my whole body trembling, horror crashing down on me like boulders.
"Victor!" I heard myself scream, finally. It sounded so strange even to my ears, this shriek of panic.
Before I remembered running, I was out on the lawn, screaming that same thing over and over again. People's doors had already opened when they heard the gunshot, and I could hear sirens in the distance but all I could do was run, screaming his name as I stumbled off the curb into the street, falling onto my knees.
"Victor!" My voice broke off into a sob as all that was left was the sound of my own crying.
I didn't remember Logan making his way out to me. I didn't remember his sluggish movements and how he held his head. I didn't remember how he took both of my arms and shook me when I wouldn't answer him. I didn't remember his panicked expression when I wouldn't - couldn't - tell him where Victor was.
I wasn't functioning correctly. My entire body had shut down and I was running on nothing but the automatic functions. My brain wouldn't connect back. I couldn't feel anything, or hear anything. My ears roared and my stomach rolled. The next thing I remembered was crawling away from Logan and vomiting all over the street.
And then sitting up and looking at a stricken Logan with blank eyes. I remember not recognizing my own voice, as hoarse and emotionless it was, as I almost mumbled,
"I'm going to kill them."
***
Oooooooh Jane's angry! JANE'S PISSED. JANE'S SO PISSED SHE CAN'T EVEN FATHOM HER PISSED-OFFNESS. It's about to go down guys, and I can hardly wait.
PLOT TWIST? I think so. Major plot twist, yeas.
Why did they take Victor instead? What are they planning? How's she gonna get him back???? WHAT ABOUT HER AND LOGAN?
Stay tuned.
And stay awesome, my lovely Fanions
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