Do You Remember Me?, Onyx [i can read book club txt] 📗

pain, the blood… the betrayal…”
“I’m sorry she did that to you… I swear if I knew she would I wouldn’t have brought you there… I’d do anything to take my revenge on her for that!” The anger coursed through my veins, fueling the want to bash her head against a tub and see how she liked it.
Let’s face it, I’m a monster. A murderer. Ever since I killed Amber and Erick, I want to kill everyone I hate or dislike the least bit. Which was a scary thought.
“It’s okay, Chris. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was! Everything was… and you deserved none of it…”
“Everything happens for a reason, right? Some things are out of your control. You didn’t put a gun to anybody’s head and threaten them to do anything. So nothing is your fault.”
“You don’t understand. You don’t have to put a gun to someone’s head in order to make them do something. It’s all my fault. You’ll see.”
She said nothing in response. By then we’d reached the dirt road that lead into the stretch of woods, up the hill and to our hell. I wasn’t sure I was even close to ready to face it, but I had to. I had to show it to her. I had to tell her everything. I kept my promises.
At least, I keep the promises I make to Danielle.
“Keep close to me Danielle. If you hear something in the woods or see any weird eyes or anything, tell me. I know there are wolves here.
“Oh, great. Let’s head 10 miles in the creepy woods infested with wolves just to go up to the house where the people who tried to kill us live! Sounds like fun, let’s go!”
“Lived.” I corrected.

The rest of our 3 hour walk remained pretty quiet, enough time for me to think about what I was going to say. This was going to be difficult, but I made a promise. Halfway we stopped and ate what we packed and drank 3 bottles of water and were on our way again, the mid-afternoon sun burning down on us. Good thing I don’t get sunburned easily. Can’t say the same for Danielle.
“Chris… is that it?” She said, stealing me away from my thoughts.
Before us was a rather large house, 1 story. Dark chocolate brown roof. Very few windows. Pitch black inside. A shiver ran through me and I nodded.
Danielle looked around, “This place makes me feel… odd. Unwanted. Unsafe.”
“Don’t worry, you’re always safe with me. Now come on.”
We went up to the front door and I grabbed the door knob. Locked. They always had it locked. Wait, that’s right, I left through the back door. We trailed around to the back of the house, where I could’ve sworn I caught a face in the window. But when I looked up it wasn’t there. It must’ve been my mind playing tricks. I didn’t like this place the least bit.
Sure enough, the back door was open and I stepped inside. Danielle was reluctant, but followed. I felt around until I found the light switch and bright light flooded through the house.
Everything was just as I remembered it.
The cherry wood bookshelf. The black velvet couch. The T.V., the kitchen, the bathroom. I even looked in Erick’s bedroom. Then there I was, standing before Amber’s bedroom. Where I spent most of my captivity.
Danielle was laying on the couch, catching her breath and drinking from the last water bottle. I turned back to the door. Should I go in? Just to check things out?
“Chris.” A voice. Female. Hers.

It was all in my mind. I shook my head and placed my hand upon the handle.
“Just relax, Chris. I’ll make you feel amazing.”

The door swung upon before me. And there was the king-sized bed. Stained with my infidelity and sin. Even the handcuffs were still on the floor.
Then I heard sniffling. I turned back to Danielle, but she was fine. Fighting to keep her eyelids open.
There it was again. Went into the bathroom.
“What would you do without me, Chris?”
“Everything. I fucking hate you. Why don’t you understand?”
“But… Chris… I love… you…” and she’d started crying. But it was fake. It was all fake. A witch like her couldn’t feel pain.

Nothing. Back to the bedroom.
“Why can’t you just go back to the way you were when I met you? All fun, happy, seductive… wild.” She giggled a little, then sighed, “But now you’re all grouchy all the time and you’re no fun in bed.”
“I’m only fun if I like who I’m with.” Now it was my turn to chuckle.
“Then you must’ve really liked me… are you just being like this so you don’t piss off your precious Danielle? Even though all you did was complain about her that day. She’s not here, Chris. Get over it. You’ll never have to deal with the bitch again.”
“She’s not a bitch, Amber. You are.”

I slammed the bedroom door shut and Danielle jolted awake, “What the hell was that?!”
“Sorry, I slammed the door a little too hard. Memories coming back.”
“Oh… come here and take a nap with me?” She yawned.
I smiled and joined her on the couch.
“I did all this for you. Don’t pretend you didn’t love it. Don’t pretend you didn’t want it. Don’t pretend you don’t miss it. That you don’t miss me.”

Get out of my head.

Chapter 13

Chapter 13
Chris

“I promised you the truth. And the truth I’m giving to you right now.
“In the middle of 12th grade, you found a note in my jacket pocket. Unfortunately, you were right. I did cheat on you. But it was only a one-night stand. I felt horrible after it and I told her off. I vowed never to do it again. I had no idea she’d slid the note in there. Probably on purpose. I always had the guilt in the back of my mind. I promised I’d spend the rest of my life making it up to you, even though you didn’t know about it.
“Remember the house I told you about? The one I showed you? With the field and the trees? How I’d saved up for it and when I got home, you were gone? I’d found everything smashed. All my money had been stolen. That house was my anniversary present to you too, because that very day was indeed our anniversary, April 22nd. I had no idea where you were. I was so worried. I got lost in my worry, my shame, my guilt… I couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t until two days later I found amber’s note in your jacket pocket. How she found out where we lived, I will never know. I suspect that she may have followed me that day… or I don’t know.
“The note explained that… if I wanted you to survive, I’d come and find you both. Then I had to dump you and be with Amber. It also had the location of this house. I didn’t want to dump you. I loved you. But I had to. When I found you, you were in the basement. Naked, chained up, bleeding… raped… I wanted to kill Erick for that. I tried to free you. I thought that maybe we could get outta here.
“But they caught me. They beat me up, in front of you, until I was almost dead. Then Amber told me that either I dumped you then and there or she’d kill us both. So… I did. They took you to the woods and just left you there. I planned. I wrote that letter quickly and ran. I found you, but you were so close to death and I was scared. I felt so guilty. I wanted to die. Then they came. Erick held me and Amber put a knife to your throat.
“I thought she was going to kill you! I know she wanted to. Then she said that I’d dump you, and you’d let her live. So I had to. Again, ridiculously. She made me make out with her in front of you. It was all torture. I felt so worthless, so dirty, so stupid. She tried to take me away but I told her that I’d only be with her… if she assured your safety and that I could take you back to Jaclyn’s. She reluctantly agreed. She made Erick come with me and we brought you to Jaclyn’s. I left the letter with Jaclyn to give to you when you woke.”
Danielle just stared at me, taking in everything. After an intense moment she asked, “Then what? What happened next… to you?”
“Well for the first month, she kept me locked me in her bedroom. It was stupid. She forced me to… well love her. I don’t need to get into details. It was torment… I never felt so disgusting in my life.
“I put up with it for as long I could, gradually losing myself. I missed you. I needed you. But I thought you’d hate me and never want to see me again, so I stayed. For your sake. Hoping you had moved on and were happy. That you found someone better than me. And the thought of you with someone else tore me up. Which made me all the more guilty for cheating.
“I tried to force myself into loving Amber, but I couldn’t. My heart beats for you and only you. It was too much to bear that prison or that slut any longer. I had to get out. But I had to kill them, assure your safety and mine. So I bought handcuffs. And the next time Amber tried to make me…
“I… handcuffed her to the bedposts. Then I smothered her with a pillow. Chopped her body in the bathtub, put the pieces in a pillowcase. Then I poisoned Erick and chopped his body up. Once everything was cleaned up, I left. With the two pillowcases, I went into the woods. Eventually a wolf found me, following the scent of the blood.
“I poured the contents of the pillowcases out before the wolf. He had black fur and golden eyes. I thought he’d attack me and kill me, but he didn’t. Once finished eating, he ran off. So I ran too. The other direction. I had no idea where I was going. Nightfall came and I accidentally fell off that small cliff. God, it hurt like a bitch. But the thought of seeing you again… it kept me strong.
“I recovered and kept running. It took about two weeks of running in circles and eating oranges and berries before I found my way out. It took me two days to remember the way and make it to the park. That’s when I found you. You didn’t recognize me,