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eyes on me. I look up at the clock. 10 minutes left. We keep working and then the bell rings. I pack up my stuff and I feel someone touch me around my waist. I immediately knew who it was. I turn around to see James. James?! I’m thinking ‘What the hell, is this a game?’ He said ‘Hey gorgeous, how are you?’ and I said ‘I would be better if you’d get your hands off my waist. I no longer think of you as someone who means something to me’ and I walk off and see Marcus walking away. ‘Hey Marcus, wait up!’ I said and he turned around and looked at me and stopped. I caught up with him and he said ‘What the hell was that?’ I had to think because honestly, I didn’t even know myself. ‘Marcus, I don’t like him. I don’t know what that was. Honestly, I don’t.’ He looked at me with a face that says ‘I believe you but I don’t’. He then talks again; ‘I believe you, I 100% do. But I need to ask you something? Do you still have feelings for him?’ I think about this. I know I don’t but deep down I could still have some feelings. But I didn’t want to mess anything up so I cover it up. ‘No. No I don’t. I hate him’, but I don’t know anymore. He comes closer ‘Are u sure? Because you might regret what’s about to happen if you still do’ I think ‘What’s going to happen?’ He comes even closer and leans in further. I knew where this was going. And considering James was behind Marcus, I didn’t stop him. He kisses me, he’s pretty good. But it feels so right, especially since James saw. For what feels like a long time, he starts moving his hands around my waist and they keep going down to my butt. He pins me against the wall and it feels so good. The corridors were clear and we just kept going. Eventually, the bell went. He moved his hands away from me and slipped his hand down to mine. We started walking to our second class, Visual Arts. We walk in and sit down. He sits behind me again and we start working on yesterday’s work. His drawing looks amazing. He passes me another note. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you xox’ I get this butterfly feeling in my stomach. Was that meant to happen? It never happened with James. But then again, he never did any of this for me. He never wrote me cute notes, never kissed me like no one was there in the halls and never walked with me to class. He was always hanging out with his friends and whenever he kissed me in front of his friends, he got lot of shit for it so he stopped kissing me in front of his friends and doing cute things for me. Marcus and I have been together for a day and he’s already impressing me. I walk out of Visual Arts and I feel a tug on my arm. James? Again? He pulls me as close as when Marcus kissed me and I saw Marcus come out of the room and into the hallway with this scene being the first thing he sees. I see him coming out of the corner of my eye and I immediately knew where this was going. Marcus came up to us and pushed us apart and grabbed James by the shirt and said ‘If you come anywhere near my girl again, your reputation in this school will be pathetic. You no longer own her. You never did. And you’re acting like you still love her. You broke up with her. If you’re still in love with her, tough luck. She’s moved on. ’ Chapter 4: Reminisce About It

 

After that incident with James and Marcus I had to talk to Marcus about it. I caught up with him after he walked away and he said ‘What the hell was that? He still has feelings for you Charlotte, get back with him.’ I couldn’t believe it when he said that. ‘You think I still love him don’t you?’ I said. The words blurted out my mouth. I regretted saying that. He came back with ‘Are you serious? Of course that’s what I think, he can’t keep his hands off you and you don’t do anything about it. You haven’t for the past 4 months. Charlotte I love you a lot and I hate it when he comes in and thinks he’s still with you. I haven’t even known you for that long but I know you, really well. I know when you’re lying and I know when you’re not ok. James doesn’t know any of that, because he didn’t study how perfect you are.’ I was taking in all of this, bit by bit. He’s actually saying this to me. He actually is. ‘Ok’ I say ‘I’m going to talk to him now.’ I walk back over to James. He realizes I’m there and slips his hands around my waist. I push him away and say ‘James, I’m not with you, you broke up with me remember? Get the fact that I’ve moved on and that you broke my heart and I hate you for that.’ I walk away and Marcus gives me a thumbs up but then gives me a worried face and tells me to turn around. I turn around and James is coming my way. He screams at me ‘I never broke up with you Charlotte that night was a joke!’ I couldn’t believe it. The night he called me, crying on the phone was all a joke.

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 I’m studying for my Chemistry Theory Finals. I look over at my phone and I have 14 missed calls from James, 8 from Brooklyn and 18 from Marcus. I called Brooklyn back first ‘Hey’ he starts and I say ‘Why’d you call me so many times’ and he says in a quiet voice ‘I needed to warn you about something that James is going to do’ I start to get worried ‘What is he going to do?’ there was a pause from him ‘He’s going to break up with you in front of everyone at school on Wednesday’. I hung up. I didn’t know whether or not to believe him. I call Marcus back. It rings a few times. He answers like he just woke up. His voice was broad and deep, not like usual. I say ‘You called me a few times? How come?’ and he said ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you and what’s going to happen to you ‘and I think does he already know? ‘The James thing?’ I say ‘Yeah it is. I’m here for you’ It was really sweet of him to say that but I don’t know how I feel about him still. We say our goodbyes and I get onto my final phone call. James. It rings until his voicemail comes up. I don’t leave a message; he’ll call me back. He rings me and I pick up straight away. He says ‘Hey, I’ve been thinking, we need to break up.’ I knew it. ‘Excuse me?’ I say. I already knew this was gonna happen. ‘I didn’t want to’ he starts ‘but your too attached to Marcus. You never want to hang out with me anymore. You’re always doing fun things with Marcus and it looks like you’re dating him. I know about the Newtown Incident and I’m mad that you didn’t tell me, if you did I would’ve understood but because you kept that from me I was furious You need to get with him. And soon.’ I couldn’t believe it. He was telling me to get with one of my best friends. ‘Ok then, be like that, but you always said you were the one that didn’t want to lose me’ and I hung up. I cried and cried. I texted Marcus ‘James and I are through, text me don’t call X’ and then I texted Brooklyn ‘don’t text me but James and I are done, don’t tell anyone Xo’ I didn’t know what to do. I got urgent replies from the both of them saying call me text me and then I got a notification ‘Marcus Farge sent you a message’ I open it and it was this long message about how he felt really bad and he confessed about how he really felt about me. I read it and read it and read over and over again and I still read that message every day.

Chapter 5: Well That Went Well

 

I walk into school the next day, shivering of the thought of going into class. I have English first period. I walk in and no sign of Marcus or James. One of James’ friends walks up to me and says ‘Because of you, they’re both in the principal’s office. Your supposed boyfriend; warning of suspension. Your supposed ex and my best mate; Suspension of 6 days.’ I stutter my words slightly ‘What happened to get them that much trouble?’ regretting my question, he starts ‘James told Marcus to meet him this morning so he could say sorry. But instead of saying sorry, he started a fight. We saw it and it didn’t go down very well. James started the fight but then Marcus finished it. We left after he finished so no one knows what happened next.’ I think to myself ‘Marcus? Finish a fight? He must be on drugs’ I sit down and half way through the class Marcus walks in. Black eye, a massive cut down his leg, cuts all down his arms and blood stains on his no longer pristine white shirt. He came in and sat down at the back. I text him, ‘I heard what happened. Are u ok? Xx.’ Waiting for a response, James walks in slowly afterwards and sits down in Marcus’ normal spot. I hear his chair shuffle and he was right by me a second later. He whispers ‘I hope you’re happy’ and I shuffle my chair forward. My phone vibrates. It’s a text from Marcus. ‘I’m fine. Talk to me after class outside :) Xx.’ Not the answer I expected but still an answer. I look back and see him smile at me but it wasn’t his superstar jock smile, it was a worried smile. I sit through the most boring class

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