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A few years later…
“Wake up Rosie. No matter how much you drink, the pain won’t go away. You need to move on,” said Sylvie, my best friend and roommate in New York.
“Howwwww?” I slurred. I was badly drunk. Today is the fifth anniversary of Alex’s and my break up. Not that there was anything between us. I was upset and sad. The pain I felt has not decreased, just increased about ten times.
She sighed and sat beside me. She knew everything about me and understood me well. But she was not as good as Alex though. No one can rival Alex. This is all the bad news. The good news is…my debut novel will be out in a week! There was going to be a party to celebrate and I’ve invited my parents over for it.
Then my mobile started ringing. I grabbed it and managed to say a decent hello. It was my mom. We talked about not important things first before she said this, “Rosie, don’t be mad but we can’t attend the debut novel party.”
I practically screamed, “What? Why?”
She said happily, “Your sister is getting married to Alex. The wedding is in two months! We’re planning it.”
I was trembling and at the verge of crying. Why don't they give me a bottle of poison in the mail, or strangle me one of these days? Killing me with words isn't very motherly. Sylvie was worried now. I somehow pushed on, “But it’s two months away.”
She simply said, “She wants us there. A wedding is more important that a party after all.”
I just said, “Thank you for helping me finally come to terms with this. I’ll return after the party.”
“Come to----” I cut the line. This is the first time I really wanted them to be there and they’ve let me down. Again.
I sank to the floor and cried. More than I did when I broke up with Alex. I don’t have a chance with him anymore. No more chances. My life truly sucks. My parents don't care about me, the conversation that conversed minutes ago was the prove that they don't love me. The love of my life is marrying my sister. Why don't they just spear me with a knife, it'll hurt a lot less.
Sylvie put a hand on my shoulder. I just hugged her tight and cried. The dam has broken loose and won’t stop until it’s emptied.
But my sacrifice was worth it. She’s going to get her happy ending. Fantastic. Just wonderful. I’m going to finally have to move on like I should have ages ago.
The final goodbye…for eternity. I’m going to say it. After so long. I wonder how he looks like now, five years later. I accepted one thing though, even if I’m with someone else, I’ll only think of him. So, it appears I’ll end up as a nun.
I’m totally pure and all…except for drinking and sharing the painful kiss with Alex. But I do need a way to release all the stress and agony. Drinking makes me forgt. Wonderful, isn’t it?

Chapter 4: Don't touch me!


The party passed. I was excited about it…until I realised I was unwanted after all. The only person who truly wanted me was Sylvie. I don’t find the point of living when you’re living for one person alone. I caught a flight back to help with the wedding. I am Lacey's sister after all.. I brought Sylvie with me for moral support. I needed at least one person who understands me to be there, don’t I?
I walked up the pathway that leads up to my house. Sylvie loved the house but she knew my feelings. I had a childhood filled with no fatherly or motherly love. This house harbours all those memories. The memories sort of haunt me so it isn’t exactly my favourite place on earth.
The first person to greet me was Lacey. She hugged me and I hugged her back and whispered, “Congratulations.”
Then my mom came. She approached me for a hug but I put my hand between us, “Don’t touch me.”
She was shocked but I continued, “Lacey, why not you hang out somewhere else? There are some words I need to exchange with my parents in private.”
She gave me a gleeful smile and an ecstatic okay before vanishing off somewhere. I told Sylvie to stay with me. I needed some sort of support.
Then I begun, “Mom, dad, don’t touch me or approach me while I’m here. After all, you don’t even love me. Don’t act please. It’s disgusting.”
They looked closed to tears but I pushed on, “Why didn’t you abort me since I was an unwanted child? You could have killed me physically rather than put me through this much emotional distress. Did you even love me for a second? Do you know, the book I wrote became a number one hit across the globe? Do you know how many people loved it? Do you know why I even wrote it in the first place? I just wanted you to be proud of me…even for a second. I wanted to be loved. But no! You smeared it across my face that you’ll never love me. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’m truly honoured to be your daughter.”
That was when my father spoke up, “That was because you’re not really our daughter, Rosie. We don't have to love you.”
Blood drained from my eyes an I leaned on Sylvie as I whispered, “What?”
My mother said, sarcasm poisoning every word, “You, our daughter, not even in your dreams! Our maid gave birth to you on her death bed. She named you “Rosie” before she fell into her deep slumber. We took you in with pity so don’t you dare speak to us in this manner young lady! You should be thankful that we provided you shelter, food and clothing for all these years!"
After living for twenty-one years, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I just said, “I’m here for Lacey’s wedding only. I’ll leave after that and just take it as we’ve never met after that.”
Then I marched back to my room, pulling Sylvie along. The moment I closed the door, I started crying all over again for new reasons. I dried up soon enough and since I still had something to do, I said, “Sylvie, I have one final thing to do. Come with me.”
I opened the drawer with the letter. It was still there. I grabbed a shovel that was always in my room because I liked to bury things. Alex and I used to bury unwanted stuff under the ground. Both of us walked to Alex’s and my secret base. Sylvie loved it! I'll admit, our clearing was one of the most beautiful ones around. She did not know that until I whispered it to her. This piece of information excited her even more. But when she heard about the memories harboured in this place, she did not see the beauty of it anymore. Then I looked at the letter once more before tearing it to pieces. I picked up the shovel and dug a hole. I dropped the pieces into the hole and covered it up.
Sylvie asked, “What was that?”
I said, “The letter that explained my feelings to Alex. I felt that it was appropriate for it to be buried where we met almost every day and broke up.” Then I smiled and said, “I’ve physically buried my feelings. Aren’t I strong?”
My smile disappeared and I plastered the fake smile on my face again. She smiled sadly and I took her hand and we walked back home with me recalling our childhood memories and the happiness I held back then.
That was when I finally saw Alex. He was standing at the porch and laughing happily with Lacey. I smiled. He finally realised I was there. I walked up to him, shook his hand and said congratulations before walking up to my room, dragging Sylvie along. Maybe he did not know, but My handshake wasn’t congratulating him, it was saying the final and eternal goodbye.

Chapter 5: Surprise, Surprise


Weeks passed and I blocked out Alex as much as possible. Lacey knew something was wrong but she never said anything in her excitement for her wedding. Sylvie and me happen to be flower girls to give her moral support.
Soon, it was time for the damn wedding-correction: lovely wedding. She was in a beautiful gown designed by herself. The pain I felt while watching cannot be explained. It was just too painful for words. I felt so much pain that I wanted to commit suicide. I was contemplating how to commit suicide while the priest mumbled something that felt like nonsense to me.
Finally, the moment came. The priest asked Lacey, “Do you, Lacey Wales, take Alex Miller

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