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pretty bad but since we tend to not let our feelings show we forget that we are hurt. We are so concentrated on making it out in the physical world and the mental one. This shit is ridiculous just like how the world is so fucking viscious. When Vanessa was seven she was so fucking innocent. She didn't really know her left from her right if you get what I mean. I mean it makes sense how she's so hesitant to trust Antonio. The nigga is successful and he doesn't know what its like to step inside her shoes. She's not the brightest but at the same time she is. She's deceptive in a way you wouldn't think. As I was saying before I got sidetracked, when Vanessa was seven she actually was the model of God's child. But all of that changed when her brother stepped into her life. She didn't know shit about sex and figured babies came out women's stomachs like we all do. Anyway all that shit changed. Her brother taught her sex in fact he showed her. So you can kinda see why she doesn't want to trust anyone. She don't believe in words but actions. Even then she couldn't really trust the actions cause she figured that to survive in this world you gotta be fucking ruthless. So again please excuse Vanessa for her attitude but at least you know why she is. Vanessa almost lost her mom at thirteen, she just seemed to have to grow up fast. Lost her virtrue along the way but don't we all?  Now that you know a piece of this valuable information we can continue where we left off. Can't have ya'll can I?

As Antonio holds me I don't know how I feel now. We don't even know each other, yet. I mean I gotta give this guy a chance right?

I pull away from Antonio and smile. "I'm sorry I don't mean to be like... like this. You don't deserve this. Anyway what do you do at work that makes you so successful?"

He looks and smiles back showing the hottest smile. "Never apologize with me. I fuck with music. I make beats all that type of shit. "

I look at him and get to thinking.  He looks and chuckles. "Please tell me you got a thing for mexicans?"

"Aye Papi, you already know.  You like black girls? I mean we is the freaky ones. "

He bites his lip,"Baby, you already know."

I move closer to him. "How bout you show me how much you like them, Papi?"

Antonio closes the space between us and grabs my waist. I wrap my arms around and lose myself in his mouth. OH MY LAWDD JESUS! Does he know how to kiss. I pull away, "You are just so fucking bomb."

"Shhh," He says as he brings his lips to mine. I lick his bottom lip as he pushes his tongue into my mouth. His hands reach my ass and my hands go underneath his shirt. OH MY.... 

I pull away and look at him, " I don't wanna go all the way. I'm not ready, okay?"

He looks at me with compassion and understanding in his eyes. "I understand, baby."

Raising my eyebrows I say "Do you happen to have a snickers?"

He looks at me confused, "No, why?"

"Cause I'm not me when I'm hungry. Can we go to the store please?"

"Aww cute. Yeah lets go."

He grabs the keys off the counter and we get in his car.

Chapter Four

When we get out the car I start jumping up and down.  I don't even know why I feel this way but I'm just so hyper. Antonio comes over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

I smile up at him,"This is normal for me. I just want to actually have fun ya know. I'm tired of the same thing and I want diffrent. Don't you want that too?"

"Yeah, I do actually do. Straight up, most of the realationships I've been haven't been stress free. I'm ready to try something new with someone new."

I look at him then look down,"I hope that someone is me."

He lifts my chin up and smiles," I hope so too."

I kiss him quickly and say" What about the Snickers?"

He grabs my hand. "Come on Miss Impatient."

I smile not knowing what to do with myself.  Its in this moment that i realize this boy might give me something to fight for. I mean i know its a far stretch but if you think just fir a moment havent you ever had someone make your heart stop and it feels like it keeps going super fast. Thats what he does to me and i feel so reckless. At times i dont know how to control it but i somehow manage to.

 

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Publication Date: 01-22-2017

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