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when he putted me down , he looked at me with such a look, - “What’s wrong dad?”- I said with fear in my voice-“Honey, sit down ”- I sat-“Your mom spent all your money for college, you got nothing, she spent in gambling, sorry baby, I found out this morning, I needed to drive here to tell you this.”- “Mom, is this true??”- she didn’t look at me-“I can’t believe, you are so selfish, how could you? Mom? Look at me, MOM”- I screamed in tears-“Dad? Dad? She is crazy, dad what I’m gonna do, I don’t wanna be a waitress for the rest of my life, dad?”- I said in tears- my Dad hugged me –“Kath, you can come to my house, we build your life up again, no problem, you are gonna be fine”- “No dad, no. I’m leaving here, I just need some money borrowed I’m not staying here with this woman, I don’t even know her anymore ”- I said looking at her with anger- “Sorry Kat, I don’t have money, I’m broke.”- he said looking at me- “ok, I’m gonna help her, even though she stole me, I still love her, Dad please, leave, I need to be alone, please, I don’t want you fighting with mom”- “Ok baby, call me if you need something or if you are in trouble, love you”- he kissed my forehead and left, my mom was just sitting in there in awe and I was way to mad to argue.
The next morning I was feeling sick to my stomach, my mom was an addicted in pills and gambling, I didn’t lose my virginity with the guy I liked and I was poor, I called Trisha and told her all my situation – “Girl , I can’t go there, I’m leaving, I’m going to LA in 4 hours, I’m packing, do you wanna come over, I want to see you”- “I need to work and take care of my mom, but i want to see you also, at least a hug I’m gonna be able to give you”- I said – “ok, honey, I’m waiting for you.”
I saw my mom sitting on the couch watching tv, I think she was watching a gossip tv show, she saw me , but I left right before she could have an opportunity to say something, I went to kitchen to prepare my breakfast while I was doing it I thought about my mom, she used to be nice, when I was a kid she used to bring me at park to play with the other kids, she was perfect and present in my life, but a couple of years ago, she became sick with a deep depression, I didn’t know she used to gambling I discovered last night, it was a shock and she stole all my money from college, I was mad as hell, but I couldn’t do anything to her, but I could just ignore her, my dad went away when he found out she was obsessed with the pills, I begged him to stay, but he told me he would never leave me alone, even though he was gone, I believed him, but he started a new life with his wife, i couldn’t go to his house, he deserved to be happy after all, my mom ruined everything.
My thoughts were driving me crazy, maybe Brad would break up I was a bit nervous, my palms were sweating, but I would go to talk to him, but first I needed to see Trisha to say Good-bye. I was in front of her house, I didn’t knock, I just got in , I was part of her family, her mom loved me , the half of my clothes it was her mom who gave me. I went upstairs, there was Trisha, packing all her stuff, two big suitcases were packed already, there was two more to pack, when she saw me she hugged me so tight-”you’re hurting my ribs”-I said, laughing-“I’m going to miss you, I hope you take care of your mom, but first of all you need to take care of yourself. ”- She said, looking me in the eyes-“I’m going to miss you too, I’m going to take care of her, even though all she did”—“oh girl, you are gonna be fine, this is just a process, girl, I’ve got something to say, I kissed Peter last night, It was amazing, I’ll never forget.”-“that’s nice, I’m glad you did this, I mean both of you, I have work to do, Brad wants to talk to me, I need to go, give me a hug, I love you so much”- we hugged each other-“I love you too”- she said letting me go.
I went to Brad’s apartment, I knocked, a girl opened up, I got in , the girl didn’t say a thing, she didn’t have a chance to do it, I caught both of them, Brad was semi naked in his bed, while the girl had a towel wrapped around her, I wake him up and slapped his face, I was so nervous-“You asshole, I hate you, why did you do this to me, why ? ”-I beat him up – “Stop, you crazy? it was you who left me turned on in that motel”-he said while he held me in an attempt to stop me from beating him – “get off of me, you already have a bitch to turn on when I’m not around, let me go, get off”- he left me go, I took a cup of glass and threw at him, it almost hit his face. I went out running from all this drama, my life has become; it was like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up. I went to work, feeling dizzy and sad, everything about last night seemed like a blur, this morning was shit. I decided to make my mom go to rehab, and she wouldn’t come, but I would force her, she needed help, but she denied believing that,but this would change soon, she ‘d get help.
I went home 9pm so tired, I was broken, but I decided not to think about this anymore, I needed to be strong or else I would freak out and cry anytime, I was surfing on the internet searching for some nice places my momma could go to treat herself, I didn’t have in the bank , but I kept around of U$ 400 dollars, I think it would be enough to pay her 2 first weeks, it was expansive, but my mom needed, the next morning I went to a place called ‘next to heaven’, I visited to see if it was a nice place for my mom to stay, she was clean from drugs, but not from gambling and this is sad, because I realized that her bedroom TV was gone, this problem became serious and I was concerned, I assigned the papers and I would convince her to go. I came home and started talking to her, it was the first time since the night I knew about the robbery-“Mom, you need this, you need help, you’ve already done big damage in our lives, it affected even my dad, do this for both us , I need you to be healed, I need you to be safe and health”-“I don’t wanna go, here’s my place, I will stop gambling I promise you, baby, I’m so sorry for all the things that I've done, I wasn’t thinking right, but I will stop I swear”- she said begging me-“Mom, you are going, I can’t stand this, you are selling some of your things, you need to stop, if you don’t go , I will never look at your face again, I’m gonna leave this house and forget you are my mother, I can handle all, I’m gonna be fine, I’m already 18, so let me, give me this time, give yourself this time to heal inside, do it for me, if you love me or care about me you will do it.”- I said threatening her- “I’m tired of all this too, I’ll do this for you, it is not because I want, I just wanted to prove you that I love you, because every time I said that you don’t believe, I’m looking for some redemption”- she said almost crying. I called, then they came to pick up my mother, it was too sad seeing her leaving, but it was the best for both of us –“Baby, you are gonna visit me? I need to see you”- she said crying. I couldn’t say anything, but see her go.
Everything was planned in my head, I would go to L.A soon to live next to my friend Trisha, I would get a job there and left here, but first my dad needed to assign the papers to make the house all mine, I was going to rent and pay my mom’s rehab, I didn’t want to stay in South Dakota I didn’t like the neighborhood, I was dreaming to get out of there as soon as possible and this would be my chance, the perfect time to leave that house. I went to work late, my boss were looking at me with anger-“Kath, it is the second time this week, help me to help you”- she said looking at me, well I needed help.
I came home and checked on mailbox, my dad assigned all the papers the house was mine, I put a plaque announcing that the house was available to rent.

 

 

 ****


1 week later


I shock her hand and said- “Deal”- it was a nice lady who rented my place, some people visited my house, but just her liked it, I think it was because my place wasn’t big enough, I was getting U$600,00 per month, it was good, I was happy, I told her I would get out of the house in 3 days, she agreed, I was happy, all the furnishes would stay there, I would just pack my clothes and quit my job, well my dad didn’t know I would go to L.A, I would tell him when I got there, I already bought my train passage to go to L.A.
I went to my job and spoke to my boss, she gave me all the money she owned me, It was so good to leave, it seemed like a dream.
The next morning the lady came to have the house all for her, I gave her the keys and went to the train station, the train came, I got in and sat I was on my MacBook, looking at some photos of me ,my mom, my dad and Trisha, I loved them, they were my family, I would make Trisha a surprise, I was really happy and excited, I would arrive there in 30 hours, it would be a long trip, but it was worth it, if I can’t find happiness in South Dakota, maybe L.A was my best shoot, I was convicted it was the right place to go to have some fun and forget of my problematic life. A couple of hours later I noticed that a handsome guy couldn’t keep his eyes off of me, he was Latino, dark eyes and hair, skinny, he was in an expensive suit, nice shoes, he was like a business man, I wasn’t sure, I looked at him a couple of times, but it was an innocent look.

 

*****


I had just one more hour, I would arrive there soon, I was preparing myself, putting my laptop, makeup, toothbrush, toothpaste, inside my purse, I didn't notice that I left my headphones fall into the floor, when I looked up there he was with my headphones in his hand waiting me to say the magic words-“Oh, Thanks”- I said while I moved my hand to reach my headphones, but he held tight on it-“Can you give me your phone number?”-he said with a smirk –“Oh Sorry, I’m not

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