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his rejection from my older sister. Unlike me my sister is a natural beauty, with brains, and has this personality that instantly makes you like her. I’m surprised that Amelia still regards him as just the boy next door that I secretly have a crush on.

            “Is that so?” He muttered lowly with a pained smile, he changed his position and got off the bed. I watched as he put on his shoes and was prepared to leave before Amelia came. But I did the unthinkable; me the stupid, heartbroken, idiot grabbed the hem of his shirt and deepened my frown.

            “Where do you think you are going?” I demanded giving him a narrowed glare. I know that he was still getting over the fact that the girl he loved didn’t return his feelings, but seriously it was a childish thing to run away from it.

            “I’m going…” he paused and then hesitated before saying, “what does that have to do with you?”

            “Is it because of Amelia? Are you that much of a coward?” I laughed inside my mind at the sentence, since I’m too scared to tell him my feelings. Who am I too judge when I can’t even confess my feelings for him?

            The room was left in silence and he just stared at me with a perplexed expression. “You don’t know what it feels like to like someone, Emily,” he whispered before shrugging me off with a simple shake.

            I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened my mouth slightly and shouted, “I do!”

            He raised his eyebrow at me, his lips forming a thin line. “Are you saying there is someone you actually like?” He said this with an enraged tone that made my heart skip. “Then tell me who this person is right now,” he insisted looking down at me, his hand taking a hold of my arm.

            “That…that is none of your business,” I stuttered feeling my face blush at the closeness between our faces. I know I shouldn’t raise my hopes up but how should I act when he got mad at the mention I liked someone else?

            “Emily! Your beloved sister is here!” Amelia exclaimed from downstairs, the sound of her footsteps echoed as she got closer to my room.

            Josh’s face became flustered and he took a step away from me, letting my hand go in the process. When Amelia entered she was wearing a charming smile on her face as she charged toward me and smothered me in kisses and hugs. “I missed you so much!”

            “Amelia!” I whined in embarrassment, I felt like if she was suffocating me with her huge chest. “I miss you too, but can you loosen your hold on me?”

            “Oh sure thing,” she smiled brightly; it was like my room was suddenly illuminated by the sun. I never got used to the fact that she was too cheerful and positive.  “I came to check up on you and make sure Josh isn’t doing anything lewd,” she winked and smirked at both of us.

            “As if! Who would kiss a Player like him?” I complained with disgust feeling his eyes drill a hole at my head. “I could say the same about you! Who would want to kiss a pathetic, clumsy, stupid, dense girl like you?” He shot back with a devious twinkle burning in his eyes.

            “What was that?” I gritted my teeth and smacked him right across the head. “Who are you calling stupid! Says the one who didn’t pass his midterm exams!”

            “I’m so jealous both of you make the cutest couple,” Amelia giggled and once again I regret confining to her about my crush on Josh. It was easy to see that I like him, but he is too dense to even acknowledge me as a girl.  

            “There is no way there is something between us,” Josh immediately denied, as to I felt that stab near my heart once again. “We are friends and that is it,” he stated looking straight at her eyes.

            I guess it is futile to think there was really something going on between us; I’m the only one that feels the pounding of my heart and the nervousness whenever we are alone. “Josh,” I smiled kindly and he shivered in fright.

            “What?” He took a step back and waited for me to explode.

            “Get out of my room you Idiot!” I hollered in annoyance.

            “Fine then no need to scream you monkey,” he stuck out his tongue before leaving. I waited to hear the front door close before I fell back on the bed and let out a tired sigh.

            Amelia shook her head and mumbled something quietly before patting my head and smiling in reassurance. “Don’t worry that kid just needs to clear his thoughts before he realizes his real feelings,” she smiled and sat down beside me.

            “Yeah right, there is no way he likes me, Big Sis,” I said in dejection, feeling my heart weaken as I remembered all the times he kissed another girl. There is no way he could gaze at me the way he does when he looks at Amelia…no way.

Stay Still my Beating Heart

 

You know, sometimes I wonder if Josh has ever considered me as anything more than a childhood friend. But honestly my silly fantasies know their limit, and reality always comes to knock on my door of thoughts.

            Since elementary we have been bind together by fate and we saw each other as siblings, we were each other’s soul mate. Sure we fought and always managed to start an argument, nonetheless we ended up making up at the end of the day.

            Our relationship was sweet and honest; along the lines of puberty during middle school I and Josh became awkward. It wasn’t nice to open my mind to the possibility of becoming a woman and Josh a man. Such a thing seemed odd, why did we need to grow up?

            This is where our friendship got bumpy; I stumbled upon adolescents my age gossiping about being in a relationship. Unlike the relationship between Josh and me, this relationship everyone was ecstatic about was about love.

            Of course by now I opened my heart to the childhood friend of mine who had recently grew taller than me, and could easily carry me like a princess. My eyes suddenly seemed opened to the minor details on his handsome face structure, and his personality…which since a year ago annoyed me into a rage. Josh was growing up, and I could not stop my beating heart.

            That was the beginning of my unrequited love and even now when I admire him from a far, the reaction is still the same as before. Unfortunately my love for him will always make me suffer inside; I hope that I could get over him…

            I shook my head and walked over to my window to let the light shimmer inside; when I opened my curtains I wasn’t surprised to see Josh a few meters away in his own room changing clothes. He always shows those defined abs he worked from playing soccer, every single morning I am exposed to the sight of him half-naked.

            Not that I mind, you know a free glimpse at my crush’s body figure. Especially when he is so well built and has a nice frame, and the way the sun kisses his skin from his position…

            Josh turned and caught my dazed gazed, the corner of his mouth tugged upward into a keen smirk. He waved hello from his window and I felt my face stiffen, eyebrows furrow, and lips set in a thin line of distaste.

            “Hmph!” I huffed in irritation and with both hands tightly holding the curtains closed them, and put my back against the window. I felt my legs give under me and I let out a long sigh of adoration, he was so dashing.

            “Ugh! No get over him already!” I scolded myself, but it was no use because my cheeks were blushing. I cupped my face with my palms and wondered why it was so hard to let go of a guy who will never see me as more than a childhood friend.

            “Emily hurry up young lady, I need to drop you off at school today,” Amelia told me as she waltzed right in with her business suit attire, her hair was held up by an elegant bun of braids. She took one glance at me and raised a perfect eyebrow, “What happened? Did something happen Emily?”

            Her question hanged in the air as the imprinted image of Josh without his shirt began to diminish in my mind. “Oh, yeah I’m perfectly fine. No need to worry about me, Amelia,” I stood up and went to retrieve my backpack that was on the bed.

            She didn’t look convinced I could see as she gave me one more curious look and went downstairs. I followed to get to a certain location called hell, also known as High School. My sister was lucky to have already graduated from that inferno carven of torture.

~☼~               

            “Good morning Emily,” Velma waved with her free hand, her long dark hair at the nape of her neck as a fish tail. Her mocha chocolate skin was glowing as she smiled brightly at the sight of me. I went over to her and hugged her tightly, she did the same and we giggled as we leaned away.

            “Hey, Velma. You ready for the Biology Quiz today?” I barely had a chance to study, since Amelia kept on bugging me last night about my first week in high school as a freshman. Velma unlike me loved coming to school and being an above average Pre-AP student, I would too if there was more people like her.

            But most of the school population contained assholes and kids who enjoy skipping class; I’m satisfied as long as Josh and Velma are here in campus. “Yeah, I studied the vocabulary she gave us yesterday and reviewed the PowerPoint we covered,” Velma nodded as she leaned her back against the harlequin green locker. 

            “Me too, I hope the questions are easy,” I swallowed nervously, hugging my Algebra book with stress. When I glanced at the right wing of the hallway I noticed a certain dark haired boy walking toward this direction, Josh. He wore a green shirt that made his eyes pop out with the color, and oh great my face is blushing again.

            “I see who you are looking at Emily,” Velma teased as she moved her eyebrows and looked at Josh, who was currently opening his locker to retrieve the Algebra book for first period.

            “What? I have no idea what you are talking about,” I glanced away and cleared my throat in my most calm tone.

            “Sure, you can pretend that I won’t notice you looking at Josh with love goggles,” she rolled her eyes and smiled at my embarrassment. “You have it so bad even I noticed the first day I met you,” Velma added with a giggle.

            “That was middle school and it was so not obvious,” I shook my head in denial and tried to keep my tone down

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