Forbidden Desire, Ritesh Prasad [chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT] 📗

6th January 2009: Third Love Anniversary

The birthday bash was soon followed by our third anniversary on 6th Jan 2009. It was her decision to celebrate simple this time as I had already spent enough money on her birthday party. As rituals we went to Dakhineswar Temple and received the blessing of Lord Kali. We spent the entire day together and this was followed by a delicious dinner at her place. All the items were prepared by Sakshi herself of my choice. My favorite Matar Paneer and Dhai Chicken were top of the list with Veg Pulao and sweet Gajar ka Halwa. This time she asked me not to gift her anything as I had given her enough and for a change she handed me a packet which contained a black shirt.

I wore the same shirt on the first day of my new office and was waiting in the reception to be called for the formal introduction. After half an hour wait a young lady came and asked me to follow her inside. As I went in I understood the office was much smaller compared to my pervious office. Hope everything goes fine here I said to myself. I was introduced with all the employees that constituted around 60 people. I then set for a formal introduction with the MD of the company MR. Saugata Acharya. He was a plump person with introvert personality of around 40-45 years and wore spectacles. It was just a brief 15 minutes meeting with him about general information about the company”s structure and its policies. I didn’t work on the first day and was asked to observe things and get acquainted with the new environment.

Life was running smoothly till I was unaware there was bump waiting for me in coming next few days. First few weeks in the office went good. I grasp work quickly but there was my senior Mr. Subroto Roy who was my reporting manager. He simply didn’t like me, I really don’t know the reason why he behave rude with me and always used to try to find faults in all my work. Soon I had to stretch for long hours after office. My normal shift timing was 10-7 pm but I hardly left office before 10 pm and sometimes even 11 pm. I started getting frustrated just after 4 months in my new job, not because I didn’t like the work but the cheap mentality of Mr. Roy. He made my life hell. He was working in the Organization for last 15 years and was very close to the MD of the company.

I tried few times to raise escalation against his name, but it didn’t affect him anyways on the contrary he screwed my life much more than before. I was asked to work on Sundays as well; there was a time when I have worked continuously for weeks without any leaves and holidays, life became hell. After working for 13-14 hours daily and completing all my deliverables without fail, he was still not happy with me. It hit his ego that I complaint against him that also in writing which never has anyone ever done since the time he joined this organization. I had to pay a big price for this, I never left from office in peace; there was some or other conflict with MR Roy every day. I was warned by him if he finds no improvement in my performance within a month he would expel me from the organization,

My Mom called me one day and said the situation there was getting worse as the conflict between Dad and Son was increasing day by day. The business was running into losses and she asked me to support with more money. I had already taken a loan for my Executive MBA course and the EMIs were becoming unbearable for me. Now I had an extra burden of increased family spending’s. This increased my tension further. I had a loan to repay and big family to support plus my own expenses. What will I do if I lost this job? Mental pressure started building on me Office, Family, EMIs all gave me stress and only stress my night went sleepless now.

Our first major fight:

I hardly got time to meet Sakshi. I could not even accompany her to college on the day when her result was published. She passed in second class but was very upset as I was not with her that day. One day I intentionally bunked office and remained at home so that I could spend some quality time with her. I called her to my place since it had been more than a month I had seen her face. She informed me that she is in a friend house and would only able to come in the evening.

I spent the entire day alone waiting for her, this really pissed me off. I thought she was now taking me for granted. How could anyone be so important for her than me? She is well aware what I am going through still she acted so casually. While all these thoughts were playing drums in my head I was distracted with the knock on my door. I shouted come in door is open while still lying on bed. She entered and sat at the corner of my bed.

“What happened now tell me? Why were so hyper over the phone. Didn’t u understand I was in someone else’s house?”

Sakshi it’s more than a month I haven’t seen you. I bunked my office today just for you to spend some quality time with you. You know how hectic my life has become. You said, “No big deal we will meet some other day. How could I act normal?”

“First of all it’s you who doesn’t have time. So stop blaming me. If you have to work on Sundays also how could we meet?”

“True… but that’s not in my hand if my fucking boss wants me to work on Sundays also, I had to, I have no other option. Things won’t change; I need to again change my job again. I think I made mistake by changing my previous job.”

“Don’t worry things will sort out some day, don’t get so impatient. Okay by the way … I forgot to tell you that I am going out of town for a couple of weeks with Avantika’s family.”

“Whattt??? No you can’t go. What will I do without you? You know very well what I am going through. In these times of frustration you are leaving me alone. Sorry Sakshi please cancel your plan, I can’t allow you. May be some other time.” I said in despair.

“Rohit…stop being demanding all the time. I have nothing to do these days; I am fed up staying at home all day. I want to get out of this environment for few days it will refresh my mind. You are also always busy with your office even on Sundays. So whether I am here or not what difference does it make to you?”

“It definitely makes difference to me, Sakshi. Atleast I have a feeling of comfort that you are there. Remember? Last time when you have gone to attend a marriage ceremony of your relatives for one week, I just could not tolerate your absence even for few days and this time I might get paranoid if you left me at worst time. I know I am unable to give you time these days but you know how my Manager sucks me all the time. I am trying my best to look for another job. Once I leave this organization everything will become normal as earlier.”

“That’s fine but it’s not going to happen overnight…right?? So why are you not allowing me to go. It’s just matter of few weeks. I will be back soon and will call you daily in the meantime. Please Rohit I a need a break desperately.”

“Few weeks!!!!! Not even days…just forget it. Why you had to make such plans during this time. Please cancel I don’t want to listen to anything. May be some other time. I promise I won’t stop you.”

“Rohit everything is finalized and tickets are booked. Avani’s is very excited that we would be together. Please don’t spoil our plan. I promise I will be back soon and yes would call you every day.”

“So you are more concerned about Avani and what about me? What will I do without you? I know such types of plan can be made some other times as well. But I need your support badly during this adversity.”

“Why you are stopping me. You will be busy with your office and I am sure your boss will force you to work on Sundays as well. In any case we will only talk over phone. So let me go. I swear I will call you all the time. So that you won’t feel like I am out of Kolkata.”

“No means Nooooooooooo. If you really love me then you won’t, else you are happy to do as you wish. I said and left the room.”

“Ohhh Rohit…stop behaving like a child… and listen to me.” She said shouting from the room while I was standing in the Kitchen.

“Rohit are you listening me…come here.” She shouted again.

“Nooooo. I am fine here. First cancel your plan then only I will see your face.” I replied from kitchen.

“Okay fine, then do whatever you like. I am leaving now. If you feel like calling me then do call me at night. I am leaving early morning tomorrow.” There was complete silence after her last sentence.

I was standing there in the kitchen facing the window. I waited for few more minutes but could not hear any sound of her presence. I went into the room and to my surprised she had vanished. I couldn’t believe this, she had actually left. She didn’t even bother to say me good bye. This was really hard for me to accept. How dare she could do this? My anger reached its peak. I just switched off my mobile. I wanted to show her that even I don’t care.

So many thoughts started floating in my head. I was already going through so much of mental trauma and when I need her most, she wants to go for vacation, I said to myself. Few hours passed in similar manner, I looked at wall clock it was quarter to 10:00. I thought of switching on my mobile as this was usual time to call her. But the very next moment my male ego refrained me from doing so. “If I talked to her now she will take me for granted. Better I should talk to her tomorrow only.” I said and got into bed; i was in no mood to have dinner, so I just put off the lights and went to sleep.

I got up around 7 in the morning and the first thing I did was switch on my mobile. I check there was only one message time showed 5:46 am.

“I tried to call you several times but it seems you were in no mood to talk and kept your mobile off. Anyways I am about to leave now would call you once I reached there.

Don’t be upset, I will back soon.

Take care honey…Love you Miss you!!!!!”

After reading her SMS I felt like something choked me from inside. I was damn sure she would cancel her plan… but I was wrong. This came like a big blow to me. I thought of calling her but again my ego didn’t allow me. So I got from the bed lighted one cigarette all our old beautiful memories was visible in front of my eyes. There was only one question that I kept on asking to myself, “How could she do this to me?”

I smashed the cigarette butt in the ashtray and went straight to the bathroom. As usual I did my morning chores and