fantasty kiss, raj say hello [bill gates best books .TXT] 📗

that I’ve done that make me a bad person, that you…that you just wouldn’t understand. I’m…I’m not good for you, Layla. You’re just a child, an eighteen year old with her whole life ahead of her and you act as such.”
“That’s not what you said when you first met me.” I snapped.
“No, when I first met you I told you were smart. Not that your actions were. And this weekend proved to me that you are just child.”
I had to bite my tongue to hold back any sarcastic remarks about how he didn’t care about me being a child when he was on top of me.
“I love you. I really do. But-”
“You know what?” I asked cutting him off. “Save it. If you loved me you wouldn’t be insulting me.”
I pulled away from him and went to retrieve my bag that I’d placed by the door.
“I’m going to leave before I say something you’ll regret. But I will say this. I was sick, you asshole. That’s why I didn’t answer my phone. If you would have bothered to let me explain instead of shooting off at the mouth you’d know that my father turned off my cell because I was vomiting for the better part of the weekend, but I guess you wouldn’t care about that now would you? ”
I left him then to think whatever he wanted. If he wanted to show me that he was a complete butthole then he had done a magnificent job of doing so. If he wanted to push me away then…mission accomplished. I didn’t like it but it was…it was whatever.
I shook my head as I rushed to my car. He was being unrealistically rude today. If he didn’t want to be with a child then so be it. I never had to talk to him again if that was what he wanted. I’d go home and tell my father that I had no ties here and we’d move away forever.
It was obviously what he wanted. To not see me again? To not be with me? That was the only explanation I had to why he was being so foul.
But that’s not what I wanted. Despite his butt-holiness I refused to accept that this was the man I had fallen in love with. I refused to accept that he didn’t want to be with me. He was just…I didn’t know what he was just. But I did know I didn’t want to go home.
I wasn’t exactly sure what was up with Rebecca but I knew she was spending a lot of time at home lately. There was no way I was going to be able to slip by her today without her asking why it looked like I was on the verge of tears.
And I was. I felt like breaking down and crying my eyes out over this man that made me feel…that made me feel like I didn’t have a care in the world. But the reality of the matter was that despite my feeling this, things were happening around us. The world wouldn’t just stop because I was “madly in love” in love with this one man. My father still wanted to take this deal in Malaysia, Rebecca was still crazy as hell, Jack was still being hurt, and Devin was finally showing his true colors. He was finally realizing that this relationship was doomed to fail from the beginning. No one would understand if and/or when they found out.
There was no way that this was going to last. It wasn’t like we could get married somewhere and have kids. He was my teacher for Pete’s sake.
And how the hell would I explain it to my father? Oh, yeah by the way I’ve been sleeping with my high school English teacher for the past semester. He loves me, I love him and we’re planning getting hitched?
Hell no. That wouldn’t work. That definitely would not go over well with my father. Or society. Not that I cared what society thought or wanted from me. I just wanted to be happy. And Devin made me happy.
However, before Devin showed up in my life with his passion and sexified body, I thought I was happy with Jack. I just…I just didn’t know anymore.
Devin seemed to be the only real thing in my life at the moment and now that he was acting this way…it just made me unsure of myself. What if Devin wasn’t the man I knew? What if this new aggressive Devin was the real Devin?
As my mind reeled, I found myself drawn to the dock. It was my safe haven and whenever I needed to think about things that’s where I went. And at the moment there was much to think about.
I sat on the wooden dock thinking about when things had gotten so screwed up. And then I realized, they got screwed up when I came back. When I decided to carry on this relationship is when my life became more complicated than I needed it to be. Soon after that, I felt like I was drowning in the lies. Drowning in his love.
I hadn’t noticed I was crying until my vision blurred and it became harder to breathe. For a moment I thought it was just my thoughts getting the best of me but no, I was definitely crying. I recognized the sound of my rapid breathing, borderline hyperventilating. As the hives in the creases of my arms began to redden I groaned. I didn’t need the nervous hives. Not now.
I just needed to calm down. If I didn’t I knew I’d end up passing out. And that was something I definitely didn’t need. I brought my knees to my chest to call myself, though it didn’t really work. My breathing had accelerated, my palms became sweaty, and my vision began to get spotty. I just needed…I just needed…
Before my mind could react, my body was pushing itself off the dock and into the cool water. It wasn’t very cold today but the water didn’t know that. It was still a very cold temperature despite the oddly warm weather.
The cold water worked to snap my mind out of its dark funk. All my thoughts were then on the water and how it was tingling my fingertips.
Closing my eyes and holding my breath, I submerged myself within its cool depths and let the water wash all over me. The fish didn’t bother me, normally they snapped at my toes or swam around my feet but now that I was disturbing their habitat they kept their distance. I didn’t mind. I decided they could join the club along with the other people who didn’t want to be around me.
Thinking about him made me sad all over again. And then the thought of letting myself cry over this one man just pissed me off. I let out a scream and opened my eyes to watch as the air bubbles made their way to the surface.
As I did this water filled my mouth and I knew if I didn’t want to drown I’d have to go up for air at some point. Besides my eyes were beginning to burn a bit.
I swam to the surface to take a breath and wipe my burning eyes and spit out the foul water that made its way into my mouth.
“That can’t be sanitary.” There was a smile in his voice, which was something I hadn’t been expecting.
“What do you want?” I croaked out. The last thing I wanted right now was to have another fight with Devin. Our argument earlier had taken a lot out of me and now his smile was giving me mixed emotions.
“Come out of there before you catch your death.” He kneeled on the dock and extended his hand. “I’ll take you to the boat and you can dry off.”
“I’d rather drown.” I mumbled.
“Please…don’t-don’t joke about that.” His words were a bit strained. “I wouldn’t be able to handle if you left me.”
Okay, was he serous? What the hell was with his mood swings? One minute he’s picking a fight with me over something stupid and then he’s saying he can’t live without me?
“I find that hard to believe. I am, after all, only a child. Why would you express such concern over a child?”
I made my way over to the dock. His hand was still extended but I didn’t take it. Instead I hoisted myself on the dock on my own. It wasn’t an easy thing to do since my clothes were wet and wanted to force me back into the water, but I did it anyway. I didn’t need his help.
Once on the dock I got to my feet and began to walk to my car.
“Layla please, wait.” He called.
“Why?” I asked stopping and turning around. “So you can insult me more? Or how about so you can jump to conclusions. Or tell me how I’m so damn immature?”
“I was wrong okay? I’ll admit that.” He sighed and closed his eyes as he put a hand over his mouth. “I…don’t know why I acted the way I did. When you didn’t show up Friday I just knew-”
“But you didn’t give me a chance to explain. I told you I sent you a text message telling you I was alright. I was going to explain everything but you never gave me a chance.”
“Please, Layla. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were sick. If I would’ve known…”
“But you didn’t and the first thing you mind went to was yelling.”
“Can you blame me with all that’s been going on? It’s hard enough to keep us a secret, you won’t break up with Jack, and then Larry finds out about us? It’s all just too much to expect from you.”
“There you go assuming for me again. How about you let me decide what I can handle. Do you remember asking me that when we first got together? If I didn’t like it then you’d stop? If it was too much for me to handle then we would call this all off? Remember that? I’m not a child, Devin. I can make my own decisions. I don’t need you to make them for me. I’ve got a father who already tries his best to do that for me.”
He looked down at his shoes for a moment then looked back at me. “I’m sorry. I thought-I love you. I will always love you. No amount of me fucking up or you screwing up will change that. I love you.”
He extended his hand and for a brief moment I thought about how easier my life would have been if I didn’t go back that day. For a brief second I thought about how my life would be exactly the same as it was. Me loving Jack even though that relationship would’ve never gone anywhere. When my father decided it was time to move I wouldn’t have really put up a fight because I could still talk with Marina. She’d come visit.
I thought about how easy my life could have been without Devin in it. There would be no lies, no constant looking over my shoulder to make sure we weren’t being watched. No fear of if someone caught us that he’d be taken away.
No excitement or pleasure.
And I didn’t like it. Life wasn’t meant to be easy. If it was we’d all shoot through it in a breeze and then it would be over. Life was nothing without a bit of worry, sadness or excitement. Life was meant to be difficult and if it wasn’t…then it wasn’t worth living .
So I took a chance at life and took hold of his hand.

Chapter Twenty-Five
I didn’t