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me before.

After we ate, we propped ourselves up with pillows behind our backs. His arm came around me, and I snuggled up to him, my head on his chest. It felt like the most natural position in the world, like it was where I was meant to be.

He inhaled and exhaled a contented sigh. His free hand came to mine and began to stroke it. I lifted my hand and slid my fingers into his. A perfect match.

I never thought I’d feel this way about someone. So comfortable. So safe.

Letting go of his hand, I dropped it to his chest and ran my palm up and over his pecs. He shuddered beneath my touch.

The voices on the television became a distant sound as every part of me focused on Christian. The way his fingers were digging into my arm, needing, wanting. His quick inhales of tight breaths. It sparked my own desires, and a powerful wave of heat raced through my body.

“Llona, I—”

I rolled over onto him, and propped my hands on the floor on each side of his shoulders. I stared down, my gaze roaming over his perfectly shaped face. The man I’d given my complete trust to.

His hands slid to my hips, and he stared back at me, his expression a mixture of emotions. Longing and want, yet there was also hesitation as if something held him back. I wanted to crash through that doubt.

But he beat me to it.

He lifted and pressed his mouth to mine while his hand slid up my back, fingers tangling into my hair. I relaxed my body and melted into his arms. His lips were warm, hungry and demanding. I kissed him back just as fiercely, overwhelmed by the way my body had become alive beneath his touch. Every nerve ending yearned to be caressed and stroked. I ground my hips into him, all thoughts gone from my mind.

It wasn’t until I felt myself being lifted that I realized Christian was scrambling out from under me, his breathing hitched. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I swallowed the growing thickness in my throat. “Did I do something wrong?”

He shook his head in frustration. “Not at all. It’s just I can’t get serious.”

I stared at him and tried to comprehend what he was saying. “To clarify, you can’t get serious with anyone or just me?”

He averted his gaze. “Anyone. I can’t let anything distract me from college. And sports. I have to do good in sports, and I probably should get a job. A girlfriend would really complicate that.”

He continued to rattle on for several minutes, one excuse after another. Half of them didn’t even make sense. I finally stopped him.

“Look, I get it. You don’t want a girlfriend. Fine. No big deal.”

“Really?”

I shrugged. “We can continue to be friends, but only on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“No more of this.” I waved my arms around. “No more holding my hand, hugging me or even touching me. You’re sending all the wrong signals for someone who doesn’t want a girlfriend.”

He glanced around as if seeing it for the first time. “You’re right. I never realized what I was doing. It just felt right.”

If it feels right then why do you want to stop?

“Will you forgive me?” he asked.

I forced a tight smile. “What are friends for?”

"You are so amazing.”

Hooray for me. Bloody fantastic. Let’s hear it for the girl. This sucks. “I know the movie’s not over yet, but do you mind taking me home? I’m kind of tired.”

His eyes grew. His stupid, perfectly blue eyes. I couldn’t stand to look at them any longer.

“I made you mad, didn’t I?”

“No. I really am tired, and it just feels weird being out here so secluded.”

He grinned.

“What?”

“We’re not that secluded. Look.” He unzipped the tent and helped me out. Not more than fifty feet away was a huge cabin. And not far from it were several other cabins, most of which had lights on.

“You mean we’ve been this close to civilization the whole time?”

He nodded.

“And here I thought you were a magician.”

His smile disappeared. “I’m really disappointing you tonight, aren’t I?”

“No big deal. I’m used to it.” I forced another smile so he’d think I was kidding, but as soon as I turned around, my smile was replaced by utter disappointment, masked by the cover of darkness. At least Christian had achieved his goal. He’d said he wanted to give me something else to think about.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Yup.”

I didn’t cry that night even though I’d wanted to. So he had rejected me as a girlfriend, big f’ing deal. I still had him as a friend and that should be enough. Then why did I feel so crappy?

When morning came, I felt better—invigorated actually. And not because the moon was stronger, but because I knew exactly what I was going to do.

I showered and dressed in one of my new outfits—one that was much brighter and tighter than the clothes I normally wore. With a push-up bra, it even showed off some of my cleavage. I left my hair down and styled it. No hat today. I even upped the makeup. When I looked in the mirror, I almost jumped at the girl before me. I looked . . . dare I say it? Kind of hot. I couldn’t wait to get to school and show Christian my new look. I knew what I was doing was so immature, but I wanted him to realize what he was missing.

After Jake left for work, I exited my room. Gratefully, Heidi had picked him up for work so I could borrow his car. I grabbed a granola bar in the kitchen and headed to the garage.

I arrived at school several minutes early and parked in the back next to a storage shed. While I waited for Christian to arrive, I practiced calling upon my Light. It sparked in my hand a few times, nothing impressive, but I didn’t give up.

My thoughts wandered to the day before and the waterfall Christian had shown me. I remembered the trees around it, the golden hues of the leaves. Just like it had then, Light swelled within me and appeared in my hand. I gasped and stared down at its brightness. Very carefully, I cupped my other hand around it and shaped it into a large ball of bright energy.

The distant sound of a familiar truck’s engine had my heart racing. The Light disappeared as I swiveled around in my seat in time to see Christian’s truck parking three rows over.

When he got out, my heart ached. His sandy blond hair looked messy; uneven bangs flopped to the side of his face. He was dressed nicer than usual in tan slacks and a black shirt. Must be a game tonight. He walked toward the school with a confidence I rarely saw in other guys.

I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cool glass. Why couldn’t he like me? I let my pity party last only a minute before I straightened, inhaled deeply, and glanced in the mirror one more time.

The imaginary mini-me devil appeared on my shoulder. “You are smoking hot,” it said, and blew me a kiss.

The tag-along angel appeared on the opposite shoulder, frowning. “I don’t even know who you are.”

“Are you blind?” the devil sneered. “This is what she was meant to look like.”

The angel shook its head. “No, it’s too hard. It takes away from her Light.”

“Who cares about Light? Isn’t she allowed any ‘me’ time?”

“Be careful with your definition of ‘me’ time. This isn’t me time, this is her trying to get even.”

“You’re so lame,” the devil said.

“That’s enough,” I finally cried. “I’m going in.”

I threw open the car door and jumped out. Who invented a conscience anyway?

Chapter 19

When I walked into the school, I kept my eyes forward and moved straight toward Christian’s locker. I was vaguely aware of people’s heads turning my direction. Someone even whistled, but I blocked it all, afraid any disruption in my concentration would cause me to chicken out.

I turned the corner, my strides long and confident. In the back of my mind the Rocky theme began to play: “Rising up, back on the street, Did my time, took my chances . . ” I felt like I was on my way to save the world. This was for all the girls who’d been rejected. Vengeance was mine!

“Llona?”

I came to a screeching halt at the sound of Christian’s voice. I sucked in a deep breath and turned to face Christian who had somehow managed to get behind me.

“Hello, Christian,” I said and flashed the

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