To My Ex: Thank You, Hlengiwe Mathebula [top young adult novels .TXT] 📗

this Melusi?" Nono asks shocked.
"Yup" I answer bitterly.
"Wow, never thought I'd leave to see this day ey", Nono answers.
"Lulu I'm sorry" he tells me looking at his feet
"For what exactly?"
"I'm sorry for leaving you" he replies still not meeting my eyes.
"Don't be leaving me was the best thing you did for me" I tell him.
"Kea also left me 2 years after she came back. I went to your house to look for you, but I didn't find anyone and your neighbours told me you guys relocated. Because they know our history they didn't want to give me your contact detaila. I went to where you studied and sat at the gate for 2 full weeks and I didn't see you" he tells me sadly.
"Hehehe so that means you went to look for her when your baby mama left again" asks Nono clearly shocked from the looks in her eyes.
Nono is very protective of me. She fights for me when I can't which is like all the time. I am the weakest person ever I don't argue back I just walk away. Nono has been my back bone since I met her 12 years ago. She's been the best big sis I never had. There were times when I felt like I can't go on. The pain was too much. This one time if it wasn't for her I would've died. Since that day I made a vow everyday that I will always be there for her no matter what.
~~~
The following day after I slept at Nono's place I went home and talked to my mom and Nono moved in with us. Two weeks after she moved my mom's employers lost their baby girl after she drowned in the pool at night. They decided to move away and gave my mom their place with everything inside we moved to that house. It was big we all had our rooms. Back at home we lived in a RDP house. Two bedrooms, lounge and kitchen no bathroom. But I was dpressed to a point where I had to de-register at the University I was going to. I couldn't cope you know my dad left me not more than 10 years ago. Well maybe he was mad at my mom I don't know but did he have to leave me? Well within 10 years 2 important men left me. I started to think that there's something wrong with me.
~~~~
"Do you even know what you have done to Luthando?" Nono asked clearly pissed.
When he didn't answer Nono went on to speak. "Oh so now you can't talk you bustard? Did you even know what you put her through? See I told you he's not worth it, he never was" she said that pointing a finger at him but looking at me.
"I'm so sorry Lulu" he said after some times
"How's that gonna help. Gosh you're 7 years late. Yezwa 7 years late" she said showing him my wedding ring.
He gasped and started crying, being the person I am I walked to him wanting to console him but Nono wouldn't let me. I forgive easily but not Nono, looking at this from the outside you'd swear that Nono is the ex not me, the way she was so furious. I've never seen her this mad, I was scared for him.
"Nono..."
I didn't even finish.
"No Luthando I don't wanna hear it. I know what you thinking. I know the kind of person you are, you're going to ask for forgiveness even if you're not wrong" she said shouting.
She knows I hate being shouted at.
"Nono it's okay you don't have to be mad" I asked her hoping she'd leave Melusi alone. But you'd swear that I aked her to shout some more and she didn't just shout she was now swearing at him. Ever since I lost my mom a year ago she has been more protective, she played the mother role and she's just a year older rolling my eyes.
"Hheyi angikwatanga ngiyanuka" (I am not mad I'm furious)
I begged her to calm down she eventually did. I don't blame her. She's the one who didn't sleep most nights so she can listen to me or console me when I was crying.  Chapter 6

 Chapter 6
I cannot go on like this, I miss him so much it's been 2 years now but it still feels like yesterday. Yesterday I was googling ways on how to commit suicide without much pain. But I didn't find anything. So after class I went to buy rat poison I mean it is common for people to use when they are committing suicide and it works.
I boil water so I can make coffee instead of sugar I put the rat poison. I drink it and feel sick after less than a minute of drinking the poison.
"Damn this doesn't take longer than I thought" I mumble.
I think of my mom and everything that she has been through how my death will affect her and I now have regrets. I think of the things I didn't think of before buying and drinking poison. I check the bed side table to see if the letters are still there, and yeah they are still where I put them.
The first one is for my mom obvious and the second one is for Nono.
Dear mama
I know what I did will hurt more than anything, but ma I can't go on like this. I tried to live and pretend as if nothing happened. First it was baba leaving me I mean us and now the love of ife left me. I am starting to feel life my life is a mess, like I bring more pain into your life than joy.
I know if you didn't have me then it was gonna be simple for you to go on but I just had to be an extra burden to you adding to your problems. I am sorry I had to be selfish and leave you like this. I don't have much to say. You know I have never been good with words or talking with another person.
Love you always.
Luthando
The second letter read:
Dear Nono
I am sorry I had to leave you, but the pain is unbearable. You know I tried but I can't go on like this. Melusi is the love of my life and what's the point of trying to live without him when I know I cant?. Please take care of mama, please support her like you've been supporting me.
I don't have much to say right now I've never been good with words. Please take care of yourself.
Love
Luthando
I am losing conscious so I think. But I feel a hand on my shoulder I know it's Nono, she saw the poison at the kitchen top. She's screaming for help and asking me not to do this to my mom it will kill her. But my world is slowly becoming darker and fading away. I am dying meaning the pain will be no more. I smile weakly.
Goodbye mama till we meet again.
I open my eyes to see my mom and Nono crying. Oh great that means I didn't die and then I have flashbacks of Nono asking for help.
"Thando" that's my mom she calls me that.
"Mama, I'm sorry" I mumble under my breathe.
"Oh my baby. Sorry for what for catching a stomach bug?" she asks smiling at me.
I quickly look at Nono she shakes her mouthing I didn't tell her
For some I am happy she didn't even though I wanted to die. A nurse walks in and asks to see my mom. As soon as the door closes. Nono slaps me so hard accross the face and then she also walks out. I am so shocked I don't even feel the pain. She must be mad, like really mad. I know what I did was selfish. But none the less I am happy to be alive. But when my thoughts are directed to the reason I am here, I weep so hard that a nurse comes rushing to my side.
"What's wrong?" she asks worried. I just tell her nothing she walks out.
After some Nono comes in takes her phone and leaves even when I call out her name she doesn't look back. 

Chapter 7

 I am walking to Melusi's house, no actually I am running to his house I got a text message from him. It read: We need to talk.
You know even if you know you did nothing wrong, but those words are scary AF.
As soon as I walk in from the gate I see a girl around my age, holding Okuhle and he's screaming like the first time I met him.
"Mama" she smiled walking towards me opening his arms wanting me to hold him. When I bent to take him into my eyes, Melusi told me not to. Well he always complains that I spoil him and he doesn't want a spoilt brat but he usually say that to tease me but today he looked very mad. Okay I am shocked I've never seen him this angry.
Maybe this is Okuhle's mom
But I am brought back to the present situation by Okuhle tugging on my feet wanting me to hold him in my eyes. I didn't know what to do so I looked at Melusi but he shaked his head no. Okay something is going on here.
"Lulu we need to talk, this is Kea, Okuhle's mom she came back yesterday and she is willing to fix things. I'm sorry but I still love her more than I love you, please move on and forget about me and Okuhle. It's for the best. You know I'll never forgive mtself if I denied him the chance of a full family. Thank you so much for helping me raise Okuhle" he said lloking everywhere but not my eyes.
I couldn't stop my myself tears were scrolling down my face. I couldn't even move or think.
"Oh you must Lulu, nice to meet you. Well I'm sorry for coming back and ruining your happy and perfect family but I am Okuhle's mother and you know how it is guys always run back to their baby mamas. My baby needs me" she said faking a smile.
"The baby needs you? How old is Okuhle? Where have you been when the needed you?" I was shouting now.
I was about to go on speak my mind tell this stupid girl that she can't just up and leave and come back