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school about her daughters sexual activities."

 

I guess according to state law that if you are 14 years of age or younger, that if you sleep with someone older than you, it is an automatic rape. Because of this I could have faced rape charges and if I was seen near or around, or talking to him I could have been automatically arrested. No if, ands, or butts about it.

 

The day that I found out, Friday, soon after speaking with the cop I got a text:

 

Travis <3: Wer done

 

I didn't answer because the cop said I couldn't talk to him AT ALL. I was devastated.

 

I walked away from the cop in tears. All of my friends were concerned, but I kept walking with tears streaming down my face. I went into the school and found my friend Matthew.

 

I told him everything and he gave me a hug, but he didn't know what to do. That was okay though. I had just needed someone to talk to before I completely lost it.

 

I stopped crying again and everyone kept hugging me. I just didn't know what to do. I walked away (still crying) and pulled out my phone.

 

"Daddy..."

 

I explained everything to him and all he said was that I needed to stay away from Travis. All I had wanted was someone to care about me. To worry and sympathize with me. I didn't need to be told that. I already knew.

 

When I was ending the phone call, I was sitting by the weight room, still crying. This young boy asked me if I was alright and I said no. So he came over and asked what was wrong so I kinda told him a little bit. Then he said that he wasn't having a good day, either. He hardly ever saw his Dad and his Dad kept making fun of him because he diidn't know how to Dougie. I told him not to worry, because I don't even know what the Dougie was. He kinda laughed at that. Then his friend came along and they walked  away.

 

I felt better knowing that a complete stranger was worried about me.

 

I waked to the front and found my sister. Soon after, my Mom called her and wanted to talk to me because I had been ignoring all calls and texts. Mom talked to me, and I started crying and she said that she was gonna come pick me up. So I said, "No, I'll be fine." But she didn't sound convinced. We hung up and I gave Bella back her phone.

 

The little wall looked comfortable so I laid down on my stomach with my head on my arms. Then I decided I couldn't take it anymore and told Bella to text me when the coach got there for lifting.

 

I went over by the door again and sat down. The tears came almost immediately and I let them. I didn't bother to cover them or anything. They streamed down my face freely. I heard the coach coming and everyone else and hid my face in my arms.

 

Then when the coach unlocked the door, I stood up, grabbed my stuff and went inside. My bag was thrown down in the hall. Then I went back to the weight room and waited for what me and my sister would be doing that day. Coach saw the tears in my eyes, or a look on my face and immediately became worried. He led me outside and asked what was wrong. I told him. It felt good to be talking to him about it. He made me walk over to a corner and "drop all my worries off." I did as I was told and went back to lifting...

 

I went home at 5 and cried the rest of the night.

ANOTHER CHANCE?

 The weekend was horrible. Filled with tears and feeling like my heart was being violently torn in half. I would sit on my bed and wrap my arms around my chest as if I could hold myself together like that.

 

The tears just wouldn't stop. I tried doing all sorts of things to get my mind off of him: reading, watching Harry Potter, texting friends, sleeping, eating, cleaning my house, playing with my dogs, and so much more. Nothing helped. It was like Niagra Falls had been being held inside me and was being let out slowly. It was excruciating. I didn't know what to do.

 

On Monday, I left the house early with my little sister. We cut through the football field for a shortcut and were just chatting.

 

"Is he here already?" I thought with fear. I didn't think I could stand seeing him.

 

He wasn't in the Multi Purpose Room when we got there. But a little while later he came walking in. I looked up and had the most desperate urge to fling myself into his arms and just cry on his shoulder. But I didn't give in.

 

He went and sat down at the far table. I looked over and couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and walked out of the MPR and into the Girl's bathroom, tears streaming down my face. My sister followed me.

 

"If you don't stop crying right now, I'm goinna go get Miss Nava," she threatened me.

 

I dried up the tears and walked out. Then when all of our friends got there, Chris, TJ, Jesse, Zach, Logan, Keana, and a few others, I walked out again crying. Jesse followed me and gave me a hug and so I told her what had happened. She hugged me again and gave me some of her coffee.

 

I went back to the MPR and had fun just talking and laughing with my friends. Then the bell rang and we all went to class.

 

 

 

Four Hours Later

 

 

 

Ah! Lunch! Finally. My little sister needed to go get her knee brace from our house so TJ and I went with her. As we walked down my street, I grabbed TJ's hand and we walked hand in hand down the street.

 

(I mean, Travis had already replaced me with one of his twins. What was I supposed to do? Wait for someone that will never come? I don't think so.)

 

We went to my house and then walked back to the school. We made it into the MPR just in time to see the Silent Auction for the Senior Butlers. TJ, Bella and I sat on a table in the very back and watched.

 

Then the bell rand for 5th Hour so we had to leave again.

 

During 6th Hour, we had an assembly on Sun Safety. TJ sat in the bleachers but my teacher made my P.E. class sit in the balcony. I wanted to sit next to him soo bad.

 

After the assembly it was time to go home. Except I go to lifting until 5 everyday after school. TJ norally goes with me, but he got grounded and had to take the bus home.

NEXT DAY

 I never knew how little it would hurt to be tld TJ had gone up to Jackie and kissed her the very same day we got together. it barely hurt at all. I just shrugged it off. Oh, well. No big deal, right?

 

I think I'm beginning to go cold. Not sure, but hey, it's a possibility. I mean, people can only take so much. And maybe I am reaching my breaking point. Who knows though. Who even cares.

 

I broke up with him the next day. I had my friend Theresa help me. I just need some time on my own, ya know. I mean, after everything that has happened. And plus, I'm still in love with Travis and from what I was told, he is just really good at hiding things and that he's still in love with me, too.

 

I don't know how I can go on like this. I'm losing my mind. My heart aches everytime I see him. When I hear his voice, it feels like I am being ripped apart from the inside. When I hear his name, I break down and cry as soon as I am alone.

 

This isn't life. It's got to stop somewhere.

 

Looking for somone to take away the pain. Any volunteers?

Imprint

Publication Date: 01-30-2016

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This book goes out to the Love of my life. I love you, Baby!

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