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and cold. I could feeling it radiating up from my feet and through my legs.
I could hear the commotion outside this ward as yet another person is lost to this place. There are some people that just cannot be saved that’s what Mum had told me after Dad had died. Now she was in that very same position.

Her heart stopped beating free hours later. all the beepers in the room started going off on red alert and within seconds the room was flooded with people nurses doctors and even some doctors in training. The room was on high alert as my Mother took her last breath and her whole body just seemed to give up. Caving in on itself.
Meanwhile all I could think was that this was not happening. That this could not be happening. It was not fair how quickly someone’s life could just be snatched away from them without a second glance. I was not human to just leave a woman lying by the side of the road after you have just hit her with your car. How could someone even do this. It coursed anger to seep from my body as they wheeled the machine that was my Mum’s only chance at life nearer to her. They ushered me out of the room telling me to wait there. They would do everything they could to save my Mum. But there best was not good enough for my Mum died on that bed. Lying there alone and cold. Never to see anything again.
Nothing after that makes any sense to me. It all went in a blur. From the moment they came out and told me it was over to the moment I got home. You asked me how I had made it there I would have given you the honest answer of ‘I don’t know’. Somehow Parker had gotten to me as I walked out of there and guided me home.
I had fallen asleep on the settee with Parker’s arms around me hugging me to him. We hadn’t said a word to each other since he got me away from the hospital but it didn’t matter. It didn’t feel like anything mattered. My emotions had gone once more and I was once again a robot.

Chapter Thirteen: Friday 3:01pm
I wake to the soft snoring of Parker who was acting as my pillow. I had my head on his chest as we sat on the settee in my family living room. Well now my living room..... The pain from last night quickly returned making any thought of anything but grief disappear to be replace by that face. The face that I would never forget.
I had no idea what I should be thinking but no matter where my thoughts lead me it always came back to the simple thing. Mum.
This was simple I was dreaming.
These dreams were getting more and more real by the second. Cody must really be sick minded to come up with things like this.
“Rose?” I heard Parker say as I leaned up away from him. As the silence was broken.
“Yeah?” my voice sounded steady and normal compared to the dream like me who had just seen her Mum die right in front of her. I shook with the memory and let parker pull me willingly back into his arms resting my cheek on his shoulder as I found myself once again perched on his comfy lap.
“Parker oh come up I’ll crush you” I mutter moving off his lap and back onto the settee.
“Rose?” he asked me looking at me like I was mad. Well yeah I was going to be if theses dreams carried on. Well actually this dream in particular.
“Rose? Hun? Are you .................okay?” I rolled my eyes at him and started to move out of his arms as the phone started to ring. He had other ideas and tighten his grip on me looking up at me with pleading eyes.
“I’m okay.” He let go of me grudgingly I might add which made my insides warm. I quickly walked out of the room smile at him behind me and picked up the phone from its hock.
“Hello?”
“Rose oh my god Hun are you okay? Is Parker there? I only just found out.” Sophie chattered on.
“Okay.... yeah he’s here.....” okay totally normal...
“Can you put him on the phone please?” I walked back into the living room where Parker was still sitting on the settee staring at the ground like it had insulted him.
“Parker?” his head shoot up like I had surprised him and he was on his feet in less than a second and the other part of a second to step forwards and pull me into his arms.
“Sophie wants to talk to you.” I say passing him the phone. He takes it with wearily hands and puts it to his ear saying,
“Sophie?” she must be talking since I can only hear a muffled sort of speaking on the other end which I cannot make out a word.
“I don’t know..... She-“ he looked down at me in his arms like he was trying to solve a puzzle that was like 1000 pieces. “She seems okay..... that’s what I'm worried about.” He sounded worried but he had nothing to be worried about. It had all been a dream.
I play punched him and simple said,
“I'm dreaming.” Slowly and clearly like I was trying to convince myself. he made a laugh with no humour and pulled me tighter saying into the phone,
“She thinks she dreaming. Oh god! What am I supposed to do?” he whined into the phone while I stared at the ground. This was a dream. It’s a dream. It’s a dream! It is! Oh my god! My heart felt like it was being pulled into as the realization came to me.
“OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod!” I whispered against Parker’s chest noticing little details around the room as if for the first time.
“Oh god I have to go. Rose? Look at me!” I started to fall to the ground only held up by two strong hands. “Rose!” I heard just before everything went blank.

I opened my eyes to find myself in the same meadow as I had been before. I remembered every aspect of that dream like it really was one of my close memories it was the same with all of the other dreams Cody had planted in my brain over the last couple of days. I looked around me not really taking in anything but the fact that I was alone. Alone as I felt.
Eve feeling I had had over the last week the happiness with Parker the upset over my Dad had left me. My mother’s death had taken it all away. Leaving nothing in its wake.
“Well well look who’s dreaming again.” My head snapped round looking for the face I knew that went with that deep echoing voice.
Sure enough there Cody stood only meters away from me.
“I would have warned you about your mothers upcoming death but well I thought I’d let you find out the hard way. the same way my parents had to find out.” My face had transformed from emotionless to pain in seconds I could feeling my mouth pulling down as the memories crushed me. My eyes were welling up as I thought of my Mother’s lifeless body lying in front of me in that darn hospital. I thought of the house that she would never walk though again. I hoped she would be happier where she was with Dad. Happier that she no longer had to worry about the phobia the memories that scared her so were gone for her now.
How much better she must be.
“Oh it’s not that bad. Brighten up it could have been you that the car hit. Come on now think happy thoughts.” His voice was going on and on making every word he said sink in just that little bit more.
“I wish it had been me and not her.” The thought suddenly dawned on me. “You. You did this to her! You monster!” the thought didn’t surprise me but it did hurt more that this had been intentional and not just a spear of the moment thing by someone that didn’t even know her.
“No not me. Though it could have been I hadn’t been so damn weak! You know my brothers little stunt the other day in saving your life. It means nothing. It does not mean you mean a thing to him!”
I closed my eyes. His word stung like I never would have thought. I had feelings for Parker more than I had with any other boy. He made me happy and right now he was probable either freaking out of laughing at how stupid I was like Cody was saying.
“Well let’s see what’s next on my agenda of ‘how to hurt Rose today’ you know you are way too easy. I never thought I could have you wrapped around my little finger so quickly. It’s actually pretty useful.” He laughed bloody horrid laugh that sent chills down my spine.
“Err I know just you wait till you see these pretty pictures. They’re coming right up!”
Slowly the meadow started to blacken out and new images came into focus. A road. It looked familiar but I couldn’t place it..... I saw a figure waiting towards the crossing near the front of the images I was seeing. It was only when the woman turned to look straight at me that I realized who it was. She took a step out and onto the road. I screamed out to stop her but it was no use. This was only a memory I could do nothing with it. The car would come round that sharp bend anytime now and hit her square on. I closed my eyes but the image didn’t go away. There was no escaping it I would see my mother being knocked down weather I liked it or not.
Sure enough there was the car now. swerving round the bend at a ridicules speed. Mum turn just in time to see it coming at her. The look on her face would haunt me for every waking moment. The sound of her bone being crushed under the heavy wheels of the car was ear piercing. I made my heart break for what felt like the millionth time today. The picture quickly faded into one of my Mum lying on the ground blood everywhere. I could feel tears trailing their way down my cheeks but didn’t care I would never forgive myself for this. I would never forgive that driver for speeding of without a glance.
“You see now Rose. You see what it’s like to have Part of you die. I guess we are nearly even now. You have lost everything to.” Cody’s voice started to echo around my head as the image faded away and black nothingness took its place.

“Rose!” I heard someone shout taking away any peaceful thoughts and memories of the past. Hollowness was starting to sink in again and the blind spots in my vision were really the only thing I would look at. Even Parker’s handsome face hovering above mine could not take my mine off my Mum. Her smiling face turning to one of shock and then pain. The sound of her bones being crushed as the tyres wheeled by. Big tear drips started to well up in my eyes and slowly spill over.
“Sweetheart. Come on come here.” I felt hands pulling me closer to Parker but no comfort came from them. Just grief. Pure
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