a-soft-place-to-fall, Rakhibul hasan [novels to read in english .txt] 📗

the stuff of daily life – diapers and deadlines and bills to pay -- there was no denying she was happy.

He felt like his best self around Annie. When she looked at him, he wanted to try harder, do more, be the man she believed him to be, and the only way he could do that was to push her away.

"Are you going to stand there all night," Annie said, "or do you want to see what I'm doing."

"How'd you know I was there?"

She threw him a glance over her left shoulder. "Max's tail started thumping so I figured you were close by."

He picked his way through the stacks of boxes to where she sat by the window. "What're you working on?"

"I'm not sure," she said. "Maybe something for the Museum." She laughed nervously. "Or maybe something for the circular file."

He held out his hand. "Show me."

"I don't think this is such a good idea after all," she said, then handed over the sketch

pad.

What he saw took his breath away. His younger self looked up at him from the page. He saw loneliness in his eyes and fear and strength of character he wasn't sure he had

ever possessed. His brothers and sisters surrounded him and somehow, through what magic he couldn't say, Annie had managed to capture bits and pieces of each one of them.

"They're just preliminary sketches," she said. "I'm trying to block out positions . . . " She saw the figures carved from maple that would grow rough and weathered with time.

"Warren was right," he said when he could find his voice again. "You're gifted." "You're partial."

"Not in this. You've never met my brothers and sisters but here they are on the page." She blushed deep pink with pleasure. "You told me about them and I improvised the

rest."

"This is what you should be doing, not arranging flowers."

"Believe me, every bit of my training comes into play at the flower shop." "You know what I'm saying."

"Pretty pictures don't keep a roof over your head," she said simply. "I had to find a way to make a living."

"Warren said your husband was a teacher. Didn't he –"

She shook her head. "Big house, big mortgage. We were your typical two-income family, over-extended to the max."

Now it was beginning to make sense to him. The move to the tiny house by the water. The empty rooms. The beat up truck. She was digging out from under the same American dream he had sold to others at Mason, Marx, and Daniels.

#

If anyone had missed seeing Sam kiss Annie's hand at the Labor Day picnic, the front page color photo in the weekly newspaper brought them up to speed.

Annie turned bright red on Friday morning when Sweeney dropped a copy of the paper on the sales counter and said, "Way to go, girl!" Claudia peered over Annie's shoulder to see what the commotion was all about and when she saw the very romantic photo, her smile grew tight and then she turned away.

As the days and weeks progressed, Annie found herself thinking of the Labor Day picnic as the dividing line between her old life and her new one with Sam. Suddenly her life was filled to the brim with passion and joy and a renewal of creativity that had lain dormant for far too long. She felt truly herself in all the ways that mattered. Each night in Sam's arms she rediscovered another long buried part of the woman she used to be: the sensual, curious, happy woman she had come close to losing.

There was no denying that they were a couple now. Claudia remained pleasant but distant, as if Annie's feelings for Sam somehow diminished her love for the woman who had opened her heart to her all those years ago. Nothing could have been further from the truth but each time Annie tried to broach the topic, Claudia found another chore that needed doing or suddenly remembered a meeting she had to attend. Annie was more than a daughter-in-law but not quite a daughter by blood and the thought that loving Sam might mean she lost the woman who had mothered her for over twenty-two years made her terribly sad.

"Pay no attention to her," Warren had said when she dropped off the latest batch of typed manuscript for him. "She's worked herself into a snit. She'll work herself out of it sooner or later."

Annie wasn't so sure about that. Claudia seemed to spend most of her free time poring over piles of documents connected to her Adam Winters seminars and when she wasn't reading, she was entering numbers into the computer then saving them to a floppy disk that went everywhere with her. Under normal circumstances, Annie wouldn't have hesitated to ask her what was going on but these days they were walking on eggshells around each other and Annie wasn't about to make the situation between them any more uncomfortable than it already was.

Even Susan's attitude toward Annie had changed. Oh, she still was the master of lighthearted banter but there was an awkwardness between them that had never been there before.

"You're so busy all the time," Susan said to her one afternoon in early October. She had stopped in at the shop to pick up an arrangement for a client's housewarming. "The kids keep asking when they're going to see their Aunt Annie."

"Aunt Annie's right here," she said as she draped moss over the wire frame of a harvest cornucopia. "Tell them they can drop in anytime."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No," said Annie as she reached for some broad and glossy ivy leaves, "I don't. I'm here, Susie, every single day of the week and when I'm not here I'm over at Warren's working on a project."

"Or you're with Sam."

"So that's what this is about."

"Yes – I mean, no – oh, hell, I don't know what I mean."

Annie wiped her hands along the sides of her jeans. "Why don't I brew some tea?" she suggested, glancing at the clock. "Claudia's off at her seminar today and the crew from the co-op are at Bar Harbor setting up for a sidewalk show this weekend."

"I really shouldn't," Susan said. "I'm at the front desk this afternoon."

"Ten minutes," Annie urged. "It's been too long, Susie." She flipped the sign on the door to read Closed. "Now how can you refuse me?"

They fell together into the old rhythms of friendship. Annie took down the red tea pot she had found years ago at a yard sale and broke out the loose tea.

"Fancy-shmancy," Susan remarked as she ferreted out a box of Oreos in the narrow cupboard off the workroom. "Will you read my tea leaves?"

"I don't have to," Annie said as she poured the boiling water into the pot. "I know we're all in for clear sailing."

"Speak for yourself," Susan said as she separated the two layers of cookie and exposed the filling. "I think I see a few storm clouds on the horizon."

"Anything you want to tell me about?"

"I don't know . . . I mean, it's all – damn it, Annie, I'm jealous as hell."

Annie started to laugh. "You're kidding, aren't you? You have everything I ever wanted." A husband, kids, a beautiful house, a job, a big family all of whom loved her unconditionally.

To her astonishment, Susan's dark brown eyes filled with tears. "You're so happy these days. Everyone's noticed it. The two of you actually light up a room when you walk in. If I could feel that way again for just ten seconds I –" She caught herself. "Don't mind me. I'm premenopausal."

"You're jealous of Sam and me?" She couldn't believe she was even saying those words.

"Yes," Susan said as the tears spilled down her cheeks, "and if you want to hear something really sick, I was jealous of you and Kevin too."

"I don't know what to say."

Susan laughed raggedly and dabbed at her eyes with the edge of a paper towel. "You and Kevin were the most romantic couple I'd ever known. We were all wildly jealous of you two in high school and then when you got married – hell, it was better than the romance novels we were reading under the covers at night. Do you know what we called you two?"

Annie shook her head. She was beginning to think she knew very little at all. "The Orphan and the Penniless Poet."

Annie started to laugh.

"I know, I know, it sounds funny now but back then we thought it was the most thrilling and romantic thing in the world."

"Even when Kevin and I were working double shifts at McDonald's to make ends meet?"

"What's more romantic than poverty when you're young?"

Oh, Susan, if you only knew . . . .

Annie poured tea for both of them then settled back down opposite her friend. "I know you and Jack are happy," she said. "Knowing you, I can't believe you'd still be with him if you weren't."

"We're happy," Susan admitted, "but sometimes I find myself wondering what else might be out there." She fiddled with her spoon. "I'm forty-two, Annie, and I can't believe this is as good as it's going to get."

"Isn't that what Sweeney said when she left husband number six?"

"I'm not saying I want six husbands," Susan said with a mock groan, "but sometimes I see a man and next thing you know I'm having him stripped and brought to my tent." She laughed at the look on Annie's face. "Figuratively speaking, of course."

"I thought I was the only one who did that."

It was Susan's turn to look shocked. "You? You're kidding!"

"All the time," Annie said. "You wouldn't believe what I did with the new attendant at the gas station last spring."

Susan started to laugh and then before you knew it Annie was laughing too, huge loud belly laughs that left no room for jealousy or anger.

"When I was pregnant with my last one, I actually started fantasizing about Hall in the delivery room," Susan admitted.

"Did you know Roberta Morgan spritzes herself with Shalimar before every visit?" The two of them convulsed in laughter again, falling across the table in helpless

mirth.

"Now where did you hear something like that?" Susan demanded when she could finally speak again.

"I heard it right here," Annie said. "She and Claudia were talking about gyno visits and Roberta piped up with that revelation."

"I would've given anything to see my mother's face when she heard that." Annie poured them some more tea and broke into a new bag of cookies.

"You know I was disappointed that it didn't work out for you and Hall," Susan said. "I figured as much." Annie sipped her tea. "He's a good man," she said, "but there's

just no chemistry there."

"Maybe there could be if you gave him a chance."

Annie shook her head. "You can't force chemistry, Susie. It's either there or it isn't." "Now you sound like Jack."

"Your husband's a smart man." "I know," said Susan.

"And he loves you." "I know that too."

"That's more than most of us get in one lifetime."

Susan broke apart another Oreo. "Did you love Kevin?" she asked suddenly. "What kind of question is that?" Annie bristled. "Of course I loved him." "Were you happy?"

Why didn't she ask how many angels could dance on the head of a pin? "I think you've had too much orange pekoe."

"No, no," Susan said. "Don't push me away with a joke, Annie. I want to know if you and my brother were happy together."

"Is this a test?" Annie asked lightly. "Miss one question and I'm drummed out of the Galloway clan."

It was Susan's turn to bristle. "You looked happy. You sounded happy. But lately I've found myself wondering what happiness is all about."

"You're married," Annie said, choosing her words with great care. "You know it isn't always a matter of being happy or unhappy."

"He adored you."

Annie couldn't deny it. "He wasn't the most