The Bachelor, David Dower [uplifting books for women .txt] 📗

of the remote and sighed. She promised herself she would stop watching the show, but she couldn’t.

Just one look at him, she always told herself, but she always ended up watching the whole freaking episode.

With much effort, she pushed herself away from the couch and to her kitchen. She started making coffee and she was absently staring at it when thoughts of Zach crossed her mind again. She was beyond the point of trying to ignore his presence, actually tired of it that she had finally given in to the thought that he would always be there to haunt her conscious and unconscious hours.

The pang in her chest every time the thoughts of “what if’s” entered her mind was still there.

What if she stayed and went through with the show?

What if she said yes to him?

She shook her head. She made the right decision. Soon, the show would end and fate would be the judge of what would happen next. She just hoped that fate wouldn’t be that much busy as to forget that she was waiting for Zach’s promise now that she decided fate was, after all, the only thing that she could hang on to. As much as she hated to let things happen without doing anything, she knew she couldn’t do anything for now. But Zach could.

He promised he would.

Julianne sighed and closed her eyes. She couldn’t forget Zach, fine. She could wait for him for one more week and if he couldn’t come rushing back to her, it would be…well, it would be unimaginable for now. Chapter 30

Kim visited her one day and Julianne was thankful for her. What she didn’t expect was Kim’s appearance. Sure, the lady was still the Asian girl that she knew, but Kim looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

“You don’t look good yourself,” Kim retorted when she pointed that out, looking down at her baggy shirt and pants. “You shouldn’t go out looking like that. You’re a celebrity now.”

Julianne shook her head and sipped her coffee. They were at a café just across her building, basking in the sunlight.

“But of course, you don’t care,” Kim added, rolling her eyes with an amused look.

“How is it going with Jack?” she asked.

Kim looked at her dryly. “How do you think? That stupid show’s eating all his time and I can’t wait for it to be done with. Can you see this?” she pointed at the area under one slit eye. “This is because of the late night phone calls we can only get once a day. What is Zach doing anyway? He should just dump those two and get it over with.” Her friend looked at her meaningfully. “You’re not getting tired of waiting are you?”

Julianne hoped she could answer that one. When she left the show, she was certain that waiting wouldn’t be a problem. But now, as time passed by, she was not sure anymore. Though her mind was telling her that Zach would definitely find her no matter what, there was still that woman part of her that jumps to every freaking horrifying possibilities like Zach might change his mind and forget about her as what he originally planned to in the first place when he made the bet with Liam. Another part of her kept wondering if she should really wait, reminding herself that she had a life to live as well.

“I don’t want to wait, but I’m doing it. I don’t want to believe in fate but I’m praying it won’t be harsh on us,” she finally admitted with a sigh. “Is it always this difficult?”

Kim chuckled, her shoulders shaking, “You haven’t been in love before.” It was not a question. It was a statement that was very true.

Julianne chose not to comment on that one.

“Yes, it’s difficult. Love is no picnic as what they always say in books and movies. Sometimes, we are too focused on the “happy” elements of the stories we see and watch that we forget about the conflict in the story. It’s not all sunshine and long walks under the moon,” her friend uttered, looking her in the eyes. “It’s about waiting, anticipating, and feeling. You should write a novel about it. The real story of what a real love story should be.”

Now, this was one reason why she just couldn’t write romance. It could be as complicated as a freaking suspense novel with a lot of twists and turns. At first, she never ventured in that genre because she thought it shallow and repetitive. You just have to have two main characters, a plot where they meet, fight, and reconcile in the end. But now, she was not so sure. How it could be compared in real life was not something Julianne could plot out. She couldn’t even put them in words, but Kim could as she continued on with her little love speech.

“I sometimes blame these stupid romantic novels and movies. They always leave women wishing for the exact same thing they portray. The moment we close the book, or the moment we walk out of the cinema, we always have that hidden wish back in our heads to meet that guy who went down on his knees for his girl. But it’s not always the case, is it? No, we always find ourselves whining why we can’t have that fairytale shit we just read about or watched that we missed that cute guy who just passed by or the one sitting behind us. And,” her friend added, raising one finger, “then, if we find that one special person, we do stupid things because we always compare the real relationship with that perfect one we saw or read. But the real story is: love is not just about fate putting two people together. For most of us, it’s about the moments we miss and the moments we want to have. Love is not always like the movies and the books. It’s about two people creating their own story to tell their children and grandchildren. It’s about putting aside what should be and let things unfold as they should no matter how long it would take.”

At first, she didn’t know where Kim was going with her speech, but it finally dawned on her what her friend wanted to say.

“I think I was a victim of that,” Kim admitted. “I mean, I joined that stupid show because I really believed that I would find true love. I found it romantic. But look how it ended up for me. At first, I fought the attraction I had towards Jack because I had a shot with Zach. I got into the show in the first place, right? And Zach kept giving me a rose. I had a chance, right? But I was so stuck in my own false fantasies of love that I nearly let something true and exciting get away. But now look at me…” she beamed as she spread her arms wide, “I’m more than happy as I had hoped for. Don’t mind the eye bags and the haggard face, but I’m happy, Julianne. And I know you’ll be happy too. Don’t fight it anymore. Don’t think about it too hard. You didn’t want to be in that show, you didn’t even expect to find love. But you did and you should be grateful for it. You don’t have to be like me and most other girls who read the books and the movies just to feed their love hormones. Wait for Zach because I know it would be worth it. You should believe that one as well. Sometimes, it’s fun to take the plunge, right? Live life without what-ifs,” Kim finished with a wink.

Julianne smiled gratefully. Hearing that from Kim, she felt quite relieved. Those were the words she had longed to tell herself but couldn’t trust to obey. But now, coming from a friend, it only meant that she was doing the right thing.

Okay, she’d wait for Zach. But not that long. She’d give him time after the show ended.

 *****

Zach was in hell. Imagine being trapped in a freaking closet with rats fighting each other, eager to get the cheese for themselves. They were too eager to push the other to the mouse trap and take the cheese. And Zach was one big cheese to catch for them. That was what he felt like being surrounded by two women who constantly fought for his attention that even the presence of the cameras didn’t stop them from almost baring their whole flesh.

Just like right now, he was having a stupid picnic date with Chloe and Pauline who were dressed like they were about to do a pictorial for a cigarette commercial.

And they had been talking nonsense about themselves and what they dream to have when they got married.

He shared a look with Steve, the camera guy who was with him when he had that last date with Julianne. The man was grinning like a maniac as Pauline chatted on about her brothers while Chloe tried to cut in with stories about herself.

“Really?” was all he could say. As a matter of fact, it was the only word he could manage to utter from the start.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Chloe asked him a while later when he finally got tired of entertaining the raging narcissism.

He cleared his throat and smiled, “Yes, I think so…”

“So you have someone in mind?” Pauline was bold enough to ask. Chloe kept her mouth shut but he was certain that she was as eager to know his answer as Pauline.

“Definitely,” he answered with a suspenseful look. There was no way he would give away any hint of what he was planning to do tomorrow night.

The girls were due to fly back to New York later that afternoon for tomorrow’s big event. Zach didn’t care where the location might be because that would not be happening. He had other plans for tonight.

 *****

“Are you sure about this? I heard the producers didn’t like it,” Jack asked after lunch. Pauline and Chloe had gone upstairs to pack their bags.

“They can’t stop me,” he uttered. “They can give me orders like keeping someone in the show, but they can’t stop this one.”

Jack grinned. “I don’t really care if you’re going to make a fool of yourself. It’s a win-win situation for me.”

“I know,” Zach returned his grin.

“But you’ll be facing a lot of issues when you get out of this show,” Jack added.

“I don’t care. I’m just worried that my father’s not going to like it.”

“I bet he won’t.”

“Not that I’m really worried. My mother’s going to be happy. She might not be that happy with what I’m about to do, but she’d jump with joy once she realizes why I’ll be doing this.”

Jack did not answer. He continued to look at the horizon with a smile.

“I’m just hoping you’re all set?”

The director nodded. “We’re all set for you, Zach. The crew’s all eager to have a look at their faces. Steve for one volunteered to take Pauline’s close-up look.”

He chuckled and shook his head.

“You know, I never really expected you to grow up in this show,” Jack said, his tone serious now.

“What do you mean?”

“Let me be honest by saying that I didn’t like doing