fantasty kiss, raj say hello [bill gates best books .TXT] 📗

you. I want you to be happy. I know you say you are but I can tell you aren’t. You haven’t been happy for a while now and I understand that I am partly to blame for that. I just…I just want you to be happy.”
“And you think you being killed or locked away forever is going to make me happy?”
“No, but-”
“Exactly. So let’s just put this whole proposal thing on the back burner for a while. At least until I can figure out if I’m staying or not.”
He nodded then gave me a strange look. “Oh, you’re staying. There’s no doubt about that. I don’t care what we have to do. You are not moving back to your home country. It’s just not happening. That’s too far. You just need to realize that no matter what happens I’ll be here for you. Because I love you.”
I nodded knowing he meant it. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, well, a bit. But that was my problem. It was just hard for me to trust people enough to let them get close to me.
I’d done it with Jack, dove right into a relationship without hesitation and nothing bad happened. I’d done also done it with Devin so why should things be any different?
The difference was that I hadn’t slept with Jack without know much about him. I hadn’t fallen head over heels, without trying to sound too cliché, for a man I didn’t really know.
But now I had. And it scared me. I didn’t want to get hurt, and that’s all Devin ever said he wouldn’t do.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. He wouldn’t hurt me. I’d finally been told his background and nothing about him scared me. Not even his criminal past. He wouldn’t hurt me. I was certain of it.
“Why are you shaking your head?” He asked.
“Nothing, just clearing my thoughts.”
“Do you mind telling me your thoughts?” He took hold of my hand and intertwined out fingers.
I hesitated for a moment. My fears were irrational. Did I want him to know I didn’t trust him? He wanted to know the truth. So that’s what I gave him.
“I have trust issues. So know that it’s probably nothing you did. I just…I have a hard time…I just have a hard time trusting people, that’s all.”
He looked down at our locked hands. “And you have a hard time trusting me.” He sighed. “Layla…there’s something…I need you to…”
Before he could tell me whatever it was my cell phone vibrated in my pocket interrupting him.
He released my hand and walked away from me. “You should probably take that.”
I stared at him for a moment then answered my phone.
Rebecca was on the other end screaming at me about being late for my appointment.
I swore under my breath, causing Devin to turn around concerned. I shook my head at him and told Rebecca I’d be home in a minute.
After hanging up Devin asked if everything was alright.
“Yeah, I forgot. I’ve got a doctors appointment today at four.”
He looked at his watch. “It’s twenty past three. You need to leave.”
“Well, it can wait. What were you going to tell me?”
He smiled but it was forced. “It’s…it’s nothing important.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. I didn’t want to leave if something was troubling him.
“Yeah, it’s fine. You’re going to be late. Go one.”
I went to retrieve my bag but came back to stand on my toes and kiss him. He held my face deepening the kiss.
He released me and just stared down at me for a moment while I stared back at him. I didn’t want to read into it but I had no choice. This kiss, it was just like the one he’d given me the first night he found out what Miller had done to me. It was pained, filled with longing.
I thought about that kiss the entire ride home. That and what he could have possibly wanted to tell me.

Chapter Forty-Four
Rebecca and I sat in the stale waiting room of our family physician. Others sat around us in small metal chairs with colorful printed backs. The quiet murmur of people was just above the hum of sixties music coming from the walls. The female receptionist smiled each time someone new entered our space, filling the air with his or her own person scent. They were mainly older people who wore too much cologne or perfume to mask the smell of lingering death.
I very much disliked going to the doctor’s office.
Nothing was ever wrong with me besides possible a small cold or slight temperature resulting in me taking cold medicine for a few weeks until it dissipated.
Rebecca sat next to me, red stilettos-or at least I thought they were stilettos, all high heel shoes seemed to be stilettos to me- constantly tap taping away on the black and white checkered flooring. Apparently, my coming home a few minutes late hindered her schedule. She had something far more important to do than take me to the doctor and find out the same exact thing every time, her words not mine.
We had gotten here a few minutes past my appointment time which meant we had to wait until something opened up. Rebecca tried to explain her situation but the receptionist was new. She didn’t know of our situation.
Rebecca constantly checked her cell for the time. She wouldn’t tell me what it was she had to do nor did I care. I just needed her here because she was my ride. If they gave me a powerful shot or something I wouldn’t be able to drive home.
I looked at the round clock on the wall adjacent from me. It had only been fifteen minutes but Rebecca’s sighing and groans made it seem like an hour.
Finally, after checking her phone once more, she stood abruptly and walked up to the receptionists’ desk.
“How much longer are we going to have to wait?” Her voice not only carried a tone of annoyance but so did her posture.
The woman at the desk saw this and looked past her and at me. I shrugged and looked elsewhere.
“You came late ma’am-”
“That’s not my fault.” Rebecca interrupted.
“and you’ll just have to wait your turn.” She continued.
It was a moment before Rebecca turned around. She just stood there, staring the woman down. Finally, she turned with a huff.
“You have my cell number.” She told me. “Call me when you’re done.”
She then stormed out of the office, causing a scene.
I never met any of the questioning gazes around me.
Another five minutes passed and finally a nurse poked her brunette head through the once closed door and called me back.
“And how are you today?” She asked politely.
I smiled back at her. “Fine, and you?”
Her smile was genuine. “Wonderful, thank you.”
She led me to the scale, which was only a few steps from the door we’d just passed through. I stepped on it, fearing the results.
The nurse moved the first and largest bar to the right a space, then the next again to the right until the rod balanced itself out slightly. It still wasn’t right so she moved the next bar to the right, then to the left a bit.
She still wore her smile as she wrote down my weight and height. It wasn’t as bad as I suspected. I’d only gained six pounds since my last appointment, which was normal for me. My weight always fluctuated.
Our next location was an examination room, where she sat me down to check my blood pressure and sugar.
Both were a bit high for me but nothing critical. Next, my temperature which again was a bit higher than normal but nothing that required me to fret. She did that annoying knee reflex thing and told me I was fine with that.
My vitals were fine, meaning I was fine. Nothing to worry about.
She left me then, after telling me the doctor would be in next to examine me.
I sat on the bed or chair thing, trying not to move so I wouldn’t disturb the white paper I was seated on. The walls around me were a medium green, containing posters for different diseases, how to prevent them, and different certificates for the different doctors who worked here.
Soon a woman I didn’t recognize came into the room.
Just like everyone else, she was all smiles but wearing different scrubs.
“Hey there, you must be Ms. Bun-”
“Call me Layla.” I smiled. “You’re new; I’ve never seen you before.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “I just transferred actually. About two weeks ago. I’m still trying to get the hang of things here.”
She began to look over my chart.
“Alright, so what can I do for you today? How have you been feeling?”
“Run down.” I admitted. “Though for the past couple of days I’ve been feeling better.”
“You’ve just been really tired.” She confirmed before she wrote it down in my chart. “Have you been taking any vitamins or medications?”
I shook my head. “Well, except for the occasional pain killer but nothing hardcore. Just the basic Advil.”
She nodded. “Just making sure. I see here that you’re also here for your Depo?”
I nodded.
“How have those been working for you?”
I wasn’t sure what she meant so she elaborated.
“Any bloating, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea…”
“Bloating.” I laughed. “Definitely. I was sick not too long ago so vomiting but that was just from the food poisoning. I did have my period for about a night about three weeks ago, I think. But that’s normal.”
She nodded again as she wrote everything down. “I see that’s happened a few rimes before in the past?”
“Yeah, which was why I wasn’t too concerned.”
“It’s normal. The injection does not stop the cycle permanently, just sometimes. There’s a fifty-fifty chance you’ll still have one every once in a while. Anything else?”
I thought for a moment. “No, I think that’s it. I just come here for the shot and check up.”
“I see that you also need to go the ER to get checked out.”
“Yeah, to make sure I’m basically tumor free.”
“Hmm. I see that. May I ask how you feel about that?”
I shrugged. “It’s not much they can do to prevent it. I have my mother’s genes so there’s a possibility I could get one day. We just want to make sure to catch it early.
She smiled. “Very good. I can set up your appointments for your blood tests, CT, MRI, and X-ray while you go to the nurse up front to get your shot.”
This was the part I hated. I didn’t mind getting shots in the arm but the butt? Not my cup of tea.
“Oh, before I forget. I’m writing you a prescription for some vitamins. You can get them across the hall at the pharmacy after you leave. I’m positive it’s just your body coming off of the Depo and once you get another your body chemistry will regulate. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to start taking vitamins. Once those run out you can probably just get some for any store. Anything you think will help.
I nodded and followed her from the exam room to the nurses room in the front of the building. It was where I normally got my shots, where everyone got their shots actually.
She left me with the first nurse who had take my vitals then closed the door behind her.
The shot hurt but didn’t take two minutes to administer. My bum hurt but I knew it would only be that way for a bit.
When I came out the woman