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lot of pain, but she's got to see past that." His hand was resting on my shoulder as I stared intently at the ground.

"One hundred and three." I mumbled, it so quietly that I didn't think even I heard it.

"What?!" Ok, so he heard. I suddenly got very angry. Not at James, but at myself and at Andy.

"A Hundred And Three! Okay!? Did you hear this time!? I've been around! I never thought there would be a reason to care. Now she comes along and makes me feel guilty as hell! Like I threw apart of me away each time I did it. I feel like if I tell her that when I'm infront of her all she will see is those other women! How can I have a relationship with someone so pure when I am nothing anymore?! I threw everything away trying to feel and now that I feel something I have nothing to give her!" I turned away from James' shocked face and slumped onto the couch.

"I don't know Chris, I really don't. I just know you can't give up." He was right, all I could do now was try.

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-Part 6-




Chris' POV



I paced the floor for what felt like hours with the phone gripped in my hand. My knuckles were white and my fingers were cramped from the constant squeezing.

I scolded myself, stop being a pussy Chris. Inwardly I sighed and dialled the number that was on the now crumpled paper that Charlie gave me.

"Heeello?" Her voice sounded like heaven.

"Andy? It's Chris." There was a long pause.

"Yes?" I gulped.

"Will you meet me for coffee?" Another pause.

"Please?" I could hear her shuffling around and finally she sighed.

"When and where?" My smile consumed my face and made my eyes crinckle. She said yes!

"Um The Bean in about twenty?" I crossed my fingers and held my breath. Please say that's fine, please.

"Uh, Oh Okay-See you in twenty. Goodbye Chris." I grinned again.

"Bye."

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I waited at The Bean, not even bothering to go inside. I didn't want coffee I just wanted to see her, to explain...

When I saw her a small smirk played at my lips as I watched her walk up. Black tight jeans, purple knit baggy shirt, pony tail- pure perfection.

What was I going to say, how should I tell her?

She stopped abruptly in front of me. She look nervous, maybe worried?

"Hi Chris, you wanted..." I interrupted her by roughly grabbing the front of her top and yanking her forward. She let out a shrill squeal that was silenced as I crashed my lips into hers.

At first she was hesitant. Her lips still, body shaking.

Andy's POV



I finally conformed to his kiss. His lips sent tingling sensations through my body. My skin was crawling and the heat that was radiating through me was so surreal. My arms forced themselves up and round his neck, my fingers entwined in his hair. I felt his arms pull me closer and his tongue glide itself across my bottom lip begging me to deepen the kiss.

Oh God! Kiss? I can't, I won't. Mike's sadistic face grinned back at me through my eyelids. I picture I had been trying to forget for the past three weeks. I pulled myself as hard as I could from him. His face went from one of pleasure to shock.

"I um, I can't. Chris I can't." My eyes started to well and tears threatened to spill over. He was just like everyone else, he just wanted to use me.

"Andy, I..." He reached out his hand to me and took a step towards me as I step backwards shaking my head no.

"No. No, no, no! I can't, I can't believe I just did that." I flushed with embarrassment and placed a few fingers to my still warm lips. My eyes flashed to Chris, his arm still extended to me, his eyes to hurt. I couldn't though. He has to understand. He has to. I can't trust again. Not after two times. I took another step backwards.

"Andy please don't do this.."

"I said No." And I walked away. My hands where shaking at my sides and my body still quivered. I brought my fingers to my lips again and sighed inwardly as I remember that kiss. It had been my first. My first real kiss that is.

Chris POV



I watched her walk away from me. How could this one girl I barely knew take such a toll on me. I felt things for her that I have never experienced in my life. Not only did my body yearn for hers, but my heart leapt inside of my chest every time I saw her.

She said no though. She decided that I wasn't for her. She didn't want me. I don't blame her though, she's too perfect anyways.

I pulled myself away from where I was planted and started the long trek home in the rain. I really couldn't care about the rain pounding down around me and drenching me. I couldn't care about the wicked cold breeze whipping around me. I couldn't care that the night was so dark I couldn't see anything. I just really couldn't care.

I rounded a corner and started walking down a alley that lead to my street. It was dark and damp. The rain not only blocked out the noises of the random animals in the trash and the cars sloshing threw the puddles in the nearby streets, but it also covered the noise of the footsteps coming up behind me.

"Stop." I felt the cold blade digging into me slightly and stopped.

"Drop your wallet, watch and anything else and walk forward. Don't look back." You have got to be kidding me. He felt my pause and dug the blade a little harder into my back. Fuck my life. I started to dig into my pocket to grab my wallet.

"To late buddy." I felt his knife dive into my back. The pain shot threw me and heat started to spread from the wound. I was about to scream when he plunged the knife into my back again. The pain tore threw me again and I could feel the blood pouring from my now exposed flesh. My knees started to weaken and I tried to turn to look at this fucker before he ran. I didn't even finish turning all the way around when the knife went in again. Three times up my back. I turned fully and stared wide eyed at Mikes bruised face laughing back at me.

"You ruined my fun, but you won't do it again! I will get her! I promise you that I will make sure she enjoys herself again and again and again." He had the knife gripped in his hand and punched it into my stomach. My eyes shot open and I remember collapsing onto the knife, my weight totally supported by Mikes arm.

"Good bye Chris." He pulled the knife out and let me fall to the wet bloody floor. His body walked away from me, leaving me bleeding and broken in a alley away from anyone who would possibly find me.

I'm done, I don't think that I'll make it out of this one. I won't be able to protect her. I won't be able to ever hold her again when she cries. I won't be able to......


-Part -7-




Andy's POV



People keep telling me I'll be okay. That eventually the pain will just go away on it's own. I feel like I'm five years old again and on the old metal monkey bars at my elementary school. I hated those bars, I hated the challenge that they presented to me. I have never been one to give up though. So I'm going to move on, and to move on I must let go, just like on the monkey bars. To move forward and complete your journey you must let go first. I have to say that I am terrified though. My body aches from lack of sleep and my mind always wanders back to how I had saved myself for so long only for it all to be ripped from me. I was ruined. No proper man would want me now, especially not Chris.

I sighed inwardly. Chris. I couldn't stop thinking of him. My fingers still shot to my lips and lingered there when my mind wanders back to that night. My hands entwined in his hair, my body moulded perfectly to mine. Four and a half weeks ago was a long time and I didn't want to admit it, but it had felt so right. I wanted him, I needed him, my body yearned for him.

I couldn't admit that to anyone though, especially him. My mother told me something when she was still around, it was about my father of whom I have never met. It went along the lines of

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."

My mother said she loved my father, but she never told him. She never told him about me either. I felt another sigh coming. I was in the same predicament as her. I looked down to my slightly swollen belly and sighed. Five and a half months left. The only problem was this baby was not from the man I loved, but the man I hated. It wasn't Chris' baby I was hiding from the world, it was Mikes.

Chris' POV



The constant beeping reminded me I was alive, but it was defiantly pissing me off. I so badly wanted to open my eyes, to run from this darkness that was consuming me day and night for God knows how long. I tried to open my mouth, I needed to warn them that Mike was after my Andy. My Andy? Maybe in my head and heart, but I would protect her if it was the last thing I did. However I was pretty useless just laying here.

I tried to move my finger. No luck. Toes? Nope. I groaned. Wait I groaned! I can make noises? I tried to talk but I couldn't open my mouth.

"Chris?" James?! I tried to talk again. Doing everything I could. I tried to forced my body to move. I was groaning so much I thought I would pass out into exhaustion.

"Chris? Chris if you can hear me you got to stop groaning. Your exhausting yourself." If I could of grinned I would have. He took the non-existent words out of my mouth. I groaned again.

"For f*cks sakes Chris. I said stop." He started to mumble to himself. Than directed back at me.

"Buddy if you can hear me you got to wake up. I'm bored here without you. It's been too long going without your stupid antics. Over four weeks Chris. Some random street person found you in the alley." Well at least they found me. James sighed.

"Andy won't talk to Charlie. That last thing she said when Char called her was that

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