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why couldn’t you tell me”

 

“I just wan’t to forget that night ever happened”

 

“well look how that turned out Dakotah” I scream throwing my hands up in the air. “it’s over Dakotah”

 

“faith” Dakotah yells as I walk away from where he was parked. Grabbing my phone I dial Willy’s number. Thankfully he picked up on the second ring.

 

“ello”

 

“willy” I say as my voice cracks. “can you come pick me up”

Chapter Seven

 

 

“you know he’s following us right” willy asks accelerating onto the speed ramp. I nod as I stare in the sideview mirror.

 

“yeah I can’tstop him from seeing his son, it’s not fair to bently” I answer putting a Nickelback CD in the player and turning up the volume. I was done talking about him I just needed to get home and see my son, our son. Figure out what I’m going to do cause right now I had no freaking clue.  

 

 

My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day's a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by

That first step you take is the longest stride

 

 

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

 

 

I sang along then look over at willy who was singing alone, and he wasn’t good. he started to laugh and bob his head with the song so I joined him. I laughed even harder when people in the cars passing looked at him and started laughing. When the song was over I turned the volume down.

 

“if today was your last day how would you spend it?”

 

“do you want the truth”

 

“of course I do” I laugh looking at him with the well-that’s-a-stupid-question- look.

 

“I’d spend the day with the girl I love doing my two favorite things, drinking beer and sitting by the bondfire” he answers with a goofy smile. He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. “how would you spend it?”

 

“I honestly don’t know, probably with Bentley and Dakotah telling them how much I loved them and I’d always be there even if my physical body wasn’t” I say looking again in the sideveiw mirror. He cheated on me, Dakotah cheated on me who knows how many times. Why do I still want to be with him after that?

 

“thinking about your mom?”

 

“yeah, I just miss her so much more and more everyday sometimes I wish god would just tak me you know so I can be with her again, then I think about the fact she’s kill me when I get up there for leaving Bentley and I can’t help but smile”

 

“she was an amazing person fay, I probably would of married her if she was as young as us” he laughs trying to ease the mood. I roll my eyes and turn the radio back up.

 

“that’s so gross that’s my mom” I mumble as never gonna be alone starts to play. I squeal in excitement causing Wily to swerve into the next lane. Instead of being scared I burst out in laughfter.

 

“crap faith I’m driving here”

 

“gee I haven’t noticed” I say sarcastically punching his shoulder. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t respond so I go back to closing my eyes and letting the music carry me off out of reality even if it only lasted for a few seconds until someone honks and scares the living daylights out of me.

 

 

 

“Faith, faith, faith” willy’s voice repeats in my ear.

 

“you’re such a freaking creeper” I laugh opening my eyes. damn I must really have deprived my body of sleep the last year. Every chance I got I was out. I hear willy laugh and slam his door shut. I sit up to see a chevron gas station. Willy bends over so his heads sticking into the car.

 

“you want anything”

 

“mountain Dew and Oreos” I yawn rubbing my eyes.

 

“okie dokie” he says before walking away. That’s when I notice Dakotah’s truck parked next to us and my heart sinks.

 

‘you have to talk to him eventually’ I tell myself  looking up at Dakotah and willy, talking. I wonder what they were talking about. They seemed to be really deep in conversation, by dakotah’s expression it seem to be heated too. I decide to stop  it before one of them starts a scene. I jump out of willy’s truck and cross my arms over my chest.

 

“willy just hurry up and get the stuff before I start yelling” I say. He starts to say something but stops himself last minute. Instead he nods and goes inside.

 

I look at Dakotah he was  looking at thr ground. He was ashamed and honestly, I didn’t feel bad for him. He should be ashamed of what he did.

 

“thanks” he mumbles keeping his eyes on the ground.

 

“I didn’t do it for you”

 

“Faith-“

 

“I love you because you’re the father to my son, but from now on that’s all  we’ll ever be, parents to a beautiful baby boy.”

 

He shakes his head in response, still not bothering to look up.

 

“no that’s not good enough for me Faith I’ll-“

 

“then you should’nt have cheated or lied”

 

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to fix it, I’ll never give up on you”

 

“you’re wasting your time” I snap getting frustrated. I was broke, I couldn’t love him anymore it hurt so much to the point I finally broke.

 

“not to me it’s not-, your worth it”

 

“were was this Dakotah when you cheated on me” I snap as my blood starts to boil. Willy comes out and hands me the bag  just in time before I started to yell at him.

 

“thanks” I say giving Willy a smile and going back to the passenger side of his truck. I look back up to see Dakotah staring at me before climbing back into his truck. How could someone be so in love with someone one minute then feeling absolutely nothing for them the next, was I finally done with Dakotah? Were my feelings gone past saving?

 

“faith you okay, you look like your puppy died or something?” willy asks placing one hand on my shoulder.

 

“I’m fine” I lie. Something did die, but it wasn’t a puppy. It was a part of me,  the part that gave itself to Dakotah a long time ago. Part of me wished I never found out about the blonde bimbo, whatever her name was, that I never found out about him cheating so I didn’t have to deal with the pain he was causing me. so we could still be together happily so I wouldn’t have to explain to bently why his dad and I weren’t together as he grows up.

 

But life’s not fair, and I’d have to deal with the cards I’ve been dealt.

 

“whats on your mind faith, “ willy asks as we once again accelerate onto another ramp. I look in the sideview mirror without thinking to catch a glimpse of Dakotahs truck.

 

So many things were consuming my body at this point. I was so mad at him , while part of me was hurt and another was regretful for walking away this easy, and I was more then anything in pain. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He promised me hed never leave, never cheat never do anything to purposely hurt me. he did everything he said he never would.

 

“willy” I said trying not to fall apart.

 

“yeah”

 

“was it my fault?”

 

“is what your fault”

 

“is it my fault that were like this, did I do something wrong that made him go and cheat on me” I ask swallowing the lump in my throat. I look over at him, his eyes were filled with sympathy. “what did I do that was so wrong?” I cry wiping my eyes.

 

“you didn’t do anything wrong, trust me Faith” he blurts out sounding angry. Did he know something I didn’t? or was he pissed at Dakotah for hurting me the way he did?

 

I ignored the first idea and made myself believe he was just mad at him for hurting me, after all, did I really want to hear whatever he would say if he id know something. I was so emotional and iv’e cried more times then I have in my life alone in the last two days, my heart was shattered, I couldn’t bare anymore news. Not the bad kind.

 

My phone beeps destroying my train of thought. I look down and see a text from chris. Holding my breath as I push read message hoping to god it was good news.

 

 

You need to hurry.

 

 

That’s all it said my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach and a lump formed in my throat making it hard for me to breath right.

 

 

Whats going on is Bentley ok, please chris tell me he’s ok.

 

 

 

I send it trying to get myself to catch my breath and breathe right. Not only did I screw up as a girlfriend I screwed up at being a mom. Why did I just leave him in Oregon, my brother having three kids of his ownwas a great father and I trusted him with both Bentley and I’s lives but I shouldn’t have left him. Now he’s in the hospital and I’m not there. I couldn’t be a worse mom to him.

 

 

I’m sorry faith, he’s getting worse the doctors are doing everything they can to help

 

 

 

“pull over” I yell as my stomach flipped. Willy pulls over as quick as he can trying not to hit anyone else in the process. I open the door and run to the grass barely even making it before my breakfast came back up. I hear tires screeching and a door slamming shut.

 

“faith what’s wrong, are you hurt” Dakotahs voice booms. He’s by my side within seconds rubbing my back.

 

“I don’t know what happened Kotah, she just screamed pull over”

 

“Faith talk to me love what is wrong, please tell me so I can do something” Dakotah asks in a panic tone not bother to respond to willy. Without thinking I grab dakotah’s hand. Wether I liked it or not he was still Bentleys dad and the guy ive loved my whole life, I needed him right now. I shake my head as my vision gets blurry from the tears.

 

“Bentley, he’s getting worse.” I cry trying to catch my breat, so far with no success. I feel Dakotahs grip loosen so I squeeze his hand harder and pull him to me so I could have him hold me cause right I really needed him. That’s when I felt his chest rising and falling rapidly. He was crying.

 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Faith” he cries wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly to his chest. Whatever happened earlier we needed to push aside for right now. Right now it was about bemtley. Like it always should have been and from this point on always will be.

 

“come on we need to get you guys there” willys voice interrupted. I nodded and let go of Dakotah. I try to push myself up but I can’t I felt paralyzed. Dakotah picks me up and starts walking.

 

“I can’t let you drive right now Kotah, and she needs  you,” he says, whisphering the last part. i look up at his face catching

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